The Flip Side of the Pillow

Perspective

2011-07-19T10:31:00.000-05:00

I read this morning about a family I don't even know who is going thru the most tremendous loss. This family lost their 8 month old son after finding out he had a brain tumor less than a month ago.

I'm reading the words written by his parents and am humbled by the strength, faith and perspective they have found while dealing with the most difficult thing that I can imagine. I can barely see my computer screen as I wipe the tears away and can barely see my sweet angel who is only half the age of the little boy. I'm amazed at how this family was able to put the sadness aside and truly celebrate and love the lord and their family during the last few weeks of his life. I listen to the mozart from her play mat as the batteries are dying and have a hard time even typing that word...dying.

It's something that was never even on my radar. Maybe because I've always been an optimistic person, a silver lining seeker...but mostly because the fear of that word is bigger than anything else. You read about people in their last moments who no longer fear death. They talk about the excitement of meeting our maker and the peace of that world. And selfishly, my love for everything in this world and the fear of not having enough days here is so great that I can't even bring myself to picture anything different.

So I've learned that I have absolutely no perspective on the bigger picture of life...I think that I'm hiding behind my fear of it and my bliss in my little bubble of optimism. Regardless, I'm learning and growing and I pray that each of us have the number of bubble days that we want...even though I know that won't happen.

For today, I'm going to cuddle my little angel a little bit more, cry a little bit less and remember that my bubble wouldn't be so great and probably wouldn't even be here if I'd always been able to control everything.

Reality TV

2011-06-16T08:56:00.002-05:00

I'm a reality TV junkie. The more of a train wreck a show is, the more I'm likely to watch it. Those close to me tend to roll their eyes when they hear me say that or they seem to be full of shame. I don't get it! Most of the reality TV shows that last are the ones that educate or celebrate people.

So you think you can dance-highlights dancers

American Idol-highlights vocal talent

America's Got Talent-highlights all kinds of talent

Biggest Loser-highlights weightloss/healthy lifestyle changes

Amazing Race-highlights healthy/unhealthy competition

Survivor/Bear Grills/etc-teaches survival skills

Discovery Channel-educates on different professions

HGTV-educates on home repair, clutter removal, property facelifts

MTV-educates on spoiled children, struggling children, music

Even The Bachelor/Bachelorette for the past 3 seasons has shown group dates where they are helping orphanages, etc. Hey...it's a start.

So I choose to escape my reality in a dose of someone else's. The majority of the ridiculous shows don't make it to a second season so America is weeding those out anyway. There are so many other choices out there that seem worse.

Full Circle, New Circle

2011-06-14T10:47:00.004-05:00

I think the last time I had time to sit down and type was probably the date of my last post. I'll skip the updates because most of you don't know me personally and my life now has some incredible parts that I'd like to protect and keep private.

That being said, I feel like life has come full-circle and yet I've started a new one. When I say full-circle, its because the insanity and craziness of my past seems to have calmed down. I thought normal and calm would arrive when I matured, in my case, they showed up several years later.

This week I was contacted by a former "crazy" and they congratulated me on my happiness and wished me well. Seems like calm has arrived and they came full circle as well.

Last year, after turning 30, I was given a second chance at figuring myself out. This go-round, instead of focusing on what needed fixing, I focused on what needed celebrating! I made new friends, found new passions and had a new outlook on love and life. Love was the last thing I was looking for, I had planned to find several Mr. Right Nows to keep me entertained and feeling young. Instead, I found my Mr. Forever right under my nose!

Along with how I've lived my life, everything about our love has been out of order and I wouldn't have it any other way.

And even though I wouldn't change anything if given the chance to do it all over again, I think I would've liked to know a few things:

1) too many people tell you "Marriage is hard. Marriage is compromise. The first year is the worst." I kept hearing these words in the background of my life and used these phrases as an excuse and a reason to hang in there when times got tough. I seemed to forget the Marriage word and took this advice to mean that relationships are hard, relationships are compromise. But I've learned that relationships SHOULDN'T be hard! Relationships should be fun and dreamy and full of precious moments when you make memories together. I know too many people, including myself, who endure so much in a relationship trying so hard to make things work that we're blinding by the fact that it doesn't! I never knew that the right one just works, you don't have to try.

2) some people will just hold a grudge and there's nothing you can do. The past few years, everything has changed in my life. Because of this, there are growing pains. Unfortunately, as I was going thru career changes mostly, it meant that I wasn't able to be as much of a socialite as I'd been. This meant that I really angered some people that I adored without even trying to. It didn't matter how much I apologized, some people just wouldn't accept. I never knew that not showing up to a few events would mean losing friends.

3) I've always been a planner and found comfort in my plans. I hoped for the best, planned for the reality and thought about the worst...all to make sure that there would be no surprises. The sad thing is, I love surprises! But after years of bad surprises, I never wanted to feel that unprepared and helpless feeling so I planned for everything. This made me a great teacher but an annoying partner. I never knew that rolling with the punches and NOT expecting the unexpected could be filled with great surprises!

4) in a period of 16 months I have experienced every change, event, emotion, excitement than I expected in a decade. I never knew that in a little over a year, I could go from hopeless and confused to blissfully happy with everything I've ever dreamed.

My point is, you never know what will happen next. In my last post I talked about living in the present. Not looking at the past or toward the future but enjoying NOW. Looking back at that time, I'm so thankful that I did. I had no idea that I was about to get everything I'd always wanted. Your dreams are on their way, be who you hoped you'd be when they get to you.

A New Decade....

2010-04-13T19:44:00.002-05:00

Hmm. Where to begin. The last time I blogged, my life was in the midst of turning upside down and inside out. Or maybe it was about to, I'm not sure...I lost track.

Anyhow, since we last talked I've lost a loved one, lost someone who I thought I was going to spend my life with, lost confidence in my students, caught my students in life threatening behavior, had to endure Madagascar hissing cockroaches in my room for 2 weeks, lost 20 pounds, lost my 20s and became a 30yr old, moved, turned down a proposal, was there for a birth, and many other interesting events. Needless to say, my life has been busy.

There were more overwhelming moments than I can count. I think, though, that because I had several major events occuring at one time, I was forced to suck it up and deal with it. And I'm proud to say thats what I did. I honestly have no idea how I made it thru the past 3 months.

But now, I'm settled into my new place, I'm reviewing my students for their state assessment in 2 weeks, I've found a light at the end of the tunnel that was one part of my job and I feel healthier and better about myself than I have in years.

Former BF ended our relationship in January and although it was difficult to understand at the time, I quickly understood, accepted and moved on. Unfortunately for the both of us, he later regretted his decision and that has made the past 2 months very challenging. I'm finally in a place where I realize it is in my best interest to move forward without him in my life....even as a friend. Hopefully I'll get past the sadness that is associated with that decision as I'd hoped to retain that friendship.

I wish I could sit here and spew motivational and inspirational thoughts about how gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. But at this point...I'm not looking forward, I'm not looking backwards...I'm here in the present and for this day, thats good enough for me.

I can say that I have never loved my friends and family so much. They supported me without smothering me, loved me without judging me and encouraged me without telling me lies. I am one lucky 30 year old.

Love

2010-01-24T10:43:00.003-06:00

Loss my grandmother last night. I was somewhat prepared but I was prepared for a month from now, 2 weeks from now....I could put off those feelings because I still had time. I wasn't prepared for last night. Yesterday was supposed to be the beginning of the end....not the end.

She was the poster child for love...maternal, eternal, unconditional. She survived for over 10 years after she lost her greatest love. I would love to be there to see that reunion, what an amazing moment. That is the only thought that can get me thru.

I thought writing would help but it doesn't...nothing does. For once, I'm at a loss for words and I know words won't make it better. My only comfort is that the last thing I told her was "I love you Granny, I'll see you soon." and after a day of no words from her, she smiled and said "I love you sweetheart."

I'm sorry, have we met?

2009-11-08T21:51:00.004-06:00

No, I didn't keel over. No, I didn't go into the witness protection program. And no, I didn't become like my 40 gazillion friends who are pregnant. Where have I been? WORKING.

Yes, my friends, I got a job. A real job. A job with a salary.

And I am....ex-wait for it----hausted.

I never realized the amount of time that teachers spend working. I knew that they worked from around 8 am to around 3pm but I assumed that they worked a little while after the students went home and that was it. I remember telling BF how nice it would be when I would be able to get home before 5pm traffic and be able to relax or cook! Sha...right! This has been the most exhausting 3-ish months of my life working 12-16hr days, nights and weekends.

All in all I'm surviving. I'm working hard, messing up, picking myself up again and doing my best to survive this first year.

Alas, I do have a little something to entertain you tonight.

I never realized how much I had to learn until I became a teacher. Here are my top 10 at this point:

10. Apparently I don't come across as a nice person. I've had 3 other staff members complain about me. Its true that when you work in an environment that is primarily female, you have to act like you did in a sorority. And be prepared for all of the drama that can come along with it. I find myself adding unneccesary smiley emoticons in my emails, adding a lot of "girl, those shoes re so cute" and talking in a higher pitch voice as to really add the gushy-friendly stuff. Ugh.

9. I was blessed as a child. My students are in a completely different place than I was, they are much more independent because they have to be. They come from single parent and/or low income households where they have to take up the slack at home. They don't have the luxury of having parents in careers where they can take a day off to come to their awards assembly or stay home with them when they are sick.

8. My wardrobe is under a microscope. I wore skirts 3 days in a row and one of my students asked if I'd gone shopping and said they liked my new style. They also said my old style was L-A-M-E. (I had a 2 week jeans pass!)

7. In business, I always knew it was a C.Y.A. game. In teaching, it's a survival skill. It's a team sport but it's an every man for himself situation most of the time.

6. The fact that every town has enacted a cell phone ban in school zones means I now only have 10-15 minutes to talk on the phone during my drive home. (I only talk on my cell phone during my commute...I have no time at school and I don't want to use it when I get home)

5. The person who decided to show full episodes online is one of my heroes. I can catch up on my shows while I'm cooking! Thank you!

4. I have no money. Seriously. And what I do make, I spend on supplies needed for school. Grr.

3. Lunch. I miss lunch. I miss being able to go out to eat with friends for lunch and being able to schedule that lunch break. (The trick is to take a later lunch...around 1pm or so..cause then you only have a few hours left when you get back!) That being said, there is no diet coke break or potty break in education. I'm amazed that my body is trained to only have to pee before 8am and after 4pm. Cause really, there are very few options if it wasn't.

2. Teachers don't need desks or chairs. I remember getting carpal tunnel and headaches from my posture and sitting at a desk all day. Yeah, um...I don't sit. BF was going to buy me a cool chair for my desk before school started and I decided to wait until I found one I liked. There's no point now, I never sit! Although, apparently it's comfortable...I've had one observer and one substitute that both fell asleep during class!

1. The vests are still there. Remember those teachers who wore the same 5 or 6 outfits and the ones who couldn't wait to bring out the holiday pattern vests and embroidered jackets? Yeah, they're still there. lol. Now I understand how all of those fabric stores are still in business!

All in all, I'm very lucky to be where I am. I've been hanging in there and doing an ok job so far. I'll try to report with more funny stories soon! Thanks for all of your support, understanding and prayers. I've needed it all! 12 days until Thanksgiving break!

Fine Print

2009-06-21T19:41:00.004-05:00

Have you noticed that everything these days comes with fine print attached? You can't buy anything, go anywhere or do anything without there being a waiver, disclaimer, notice, sign or some type of "we are liable" clause in your face.

What is everyone so afraid of?

I've decided that these "security devices" or "cover my a$$ clauses" are a way of getting out of either doing what is right or having morals.

Example:
On Mother's Day we took current BF's mother to brunch at Blue Mesa Grill. This is...strike that...WAS one of my favorite brunch destinations. BF's mother slipped and fell because they had greasy floor mats and she slipped when she stepped off of one onto their concrete floor. Her plate shattered, cut her hand in about 6 places and she went down on her knee which immediately started swelling. The manager was wonderful and assisted in getting her to the ladies room, getting band-aids, taking down her contact info for the accident report and assuring us that corporate would reimburse her for any related medical expenses and she would be contacted the next day. After 5 days, she was finally contacted by their jerk of a lawyer and told she would not be receiving a dime because they were not negligent or liable and he stated the manager told us no such thing....fast forward thru me getting involved, half a dozen phone calls/emails to this man (gentleman does not apply) and the owner and in the end she was offered a free brunch for 4......EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK PEOPLE!!!!

I'm sorry but if you come to my house for dinner and you slip on my floor and spill soda on your top, I'm going to pay for your dry cleaning bill....If you are in my car and I get in a wreck, my insurance will cover you or I will. If you fall on the sidewalk in front of my house, I'm going to go out and help you up and make sure you are okay.

Is this unusual for me to act like this??? Apparently!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, everyone is so afraid of doing something wrong......they won't even chance doing something right.

What are you afraid of?

Having to spend a little money?? Thats why you work...and hopefully live within your means.
Hurting someones feelings? Guess what....you have the power to apologize...and mean it!
Having someone think badly of you? You have the power to earn that reputation back.
Having to admit you were wrong? Suck it up!
Looking someone in the eye? Don't even get me started...thats like a weak handshake....grow a pair

But think of the rewards for yourself or more importantly, for others if you do whats right. Instead of slamming my formerly favorite restaurant, Blue Mesa, in this blog...I'd brag on them. I want to be tacky, accept their offer for brunch for four and walk in there with a helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, crutches, bandaids a motorized chair and a mouth piece with my shirt saying....I fell at Blue Mesa and all I got was this brunch! EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK!

I mean, really....what is everyone SO afraid of?

It makes me sad to think that so many people live in fear and rationalize it as good judgement.

As for me....the only conditions I will gladly offer up in public are..."For better or worse, In good times and bad, In sickness and health, Till death do us part"...... And my only conditions are that I'm making those promises to a decent man who deserves my hand and everything I have to offer.

Anything else...I'll face with my faith in the lord, my commitment to do whats right, the morals my family instilled in me and the courage to take the challenges that each day/week/year/decade may throw my way.

And there's no fine print here.

The best post EVER...I can't believe I did it.

2009-06-11T18:36:00.002-05:00

Okay....deep breath. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am SO thrilled to let you all know that after 9 exhausting months of being unemployed and looking for a teaching job, I was offered a job yesterday!!!!!! I am SO excited to finally be a teacher and I want to say thank you for all of your support.

I know I truly have great friends when they tell me that they told others that I'd gotten a teaching job and when they didn't get a really excited response they said, "No you don't understand, she's been trying to get this job for almost a year."

I knew when I decided to become a teacher that it was absolutely the right decision. After I was laid off in August, the next 9+ months were the most exhausting, stressful, emotional times and sometimes I can't believe I survived.

I'll be teaching 5th or 6th grade and I'll find out the exact assignment once I sign my contract.

Ready for the scary part? I have NOTHING!!! Seriously. I'd been keeping a list of things I thought I'd need if I ever got a classroom but even that list doesn't seem like enough. SO..........if you are at a restaurant and they give kids boxes of crayons or toys, TAKE ONE OR TEN FOR ME!!

So, if you happen to stumble across some freebies in your office supply closet and want to snag any and all things, I will not complain and I won't tell a soul!

I'm going to post my "want list" out here for the world to see...if you happen to have some of these items laying around, I would be MORE than happy to take them off of your hands.

Thank you so much again to everyone for the well wishes and the support!!!

Miss MC's wish list:
mini fridge filing cabinet
plastic bins (all sizes) crayons
markers staplers
pencils pencil sharpener (manual and electric)
notebook paper construction paper
baby wipes clorox wipes
erasers highlighters
protractors stencils
glue hole punch (3 hole and hand held)
dry erase markers sharpies
printer paper printer
laptop bulletin board decorations
staples dry erase boards
rulers/yard sticks math manipulatives
bins/boxes scissors
board games tape (masking and scotch tape)
math books (worksheets) world map
globe lamps
rugs bench or loveseat
pillows buckets
pens candy (no peanut or chocolate)
bandaits/first aid kit stickers
post its poster board
colored pencils plants
folders notebooks
stamps kleenex
toys puzzles
index cards treasure chest
goldfish animal crackers
calculators timer
bookshelves hanging shelves
ziploc bags (all sizes)

Something to make you laugh

2009-05-16T12:17:00.000-05:00

Hugs

2009-03-29T09:51:00.002-05:00

Being in the classroom has reminded me how important a hug can be. It's amazing how children give hugs....they give them for so many reasons....when they are sad, happy, excited, nervous, you name it.

But my favorite part of a hug from a child is that they walk toward you with their arms extended for several steps. As adults, we only raise our arms to embrace one another once we are close enough to touch. Kids will stick their arms out as soon as they see you and walk across the room like that.

It makes me smile and I think I'm going to try it with my friends, I hope you will too. It might make you laugh or it might make you wonder, "when did I stop doing this and why?"

It never ends, does it?

2009-03-25T22:01:00.002-05:00

It's so funny how something tiny can make you smile....but kind of in a sad way. Here I was last week, surrounded with my own self awareness and deep thoughts when I stumble upon someone who is anything BUT aware. I didn't actually see them, but merely heard about the ridiculousness thru friends. It instantly made me realize...I have absolutely nothing to be worried about.

I don't hold grudges, I don't create a fictional version of things that happened in the past in order to try to rationalize my own actions and I definitely don't try to pass off blame to others.

I do, however, fear for the future children of those that do. So lets everyone take a deep breath, shall we? Get over it already. You have bigger bumps to worry about.

Defeat or Growth? You decide.

2009-03-14T15:14:00.004-05:00

Still alive...still hanging in there...in fact, I think I've adapted well to "survival mode." And I'm not afraid to say it, I'm pretty darn proud of myself.

Next Sunday is my 29th birthday. Up until today, I really hadn't thought about it as a celebration. For the first time on my birthday, I'm not in a place where I thought I could be proud of myself. I don't have a career...in fact, I don't really have a job. I'm not working toward anything in my relationship, heck, we don't even see eye to eye at this point. I'm not independent. And for once, I don't think I consider myself a role model for anything other than "what not to do."

But then I got to thinking. I'm surviving. I think a lot of people would've given up by now, but I haven't yet. And in fact, I'm not even so fragile that people have adjusted how they are around me. I still have friends coming to ME for advice, the only difference is that I'm leaning back on them more than ever.

And perhaps the most amazing thing is that I feel stronger with each passing day.

I've had this amazing thing happen to me in the last month, horrible but amazing....I have been attacked. Not physically, but emotionally and psychologically by another person. Now granted, that is a dramatic term but when someone knows their actions will hurt another person and continues to do them, I consider that an attack.

I generally consider myself a good person so it's been hard to understand why I've been the target and I've almost let it get the best of me. I've done everything I can to learn anything and everything about my attacker and monitored them in any way and every way possible. I felt that this was my own way of protecting myself. And I felt exhausted and emotionally sabotaged.

But this week, I decided that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what malicious or vindictive reasons people have to do bad things. What matters is how you let those decisions affect you (affect or effect??? i dont remember). In the last few days I realized that I'm not going to let it affect me anymore. I can't control what other people do, all I can control is myself.

And I choose to be a better person. I choose to make the right decisions, I choose to let a higher power handle it. Because my job, the only full time job I have right now, is to be good. To be strong. To survive. Dramatic, I know....but just go with me on this.

So to this person, I forgive you, even though you haven't asked for it nor do you probably want it. I will pray for you to have the same "awakening" as I have had this week. And I pray that you get what it is that you desire so badly. Because for me, it's not about what I desire anymore, it's about what I need. And I've realized that I have everything that I truly need and those things cannot be taken away. So I will be okay no matter what desires you try to take from me....even if you succeed.

And next Sunday, on my 29th birthday, I will be proud of the person that I have become. A person who is constantly evolving, constantly trying to be a better version of herself, and more recently...a person who takes a deep breath...forgives without stipulations...and moves on.

wow...where does the time go?

2009-02-28T16:41:00.002-06:00

Hi friends! Oh how I've missed you!

Things here have been...well, busy. I'm officially in a long term substitute postion for the next 2 months and I couldn't be happier about it.

I'm blessed to have been offered this opportunity at a truly incredible school with an inspiring take on a child centered facility. This school and these people are changing lives every day and I am so lucky to call this place my employment home, as temporary as it may be.

That being said the outlook for the future is bleak. I'm not one to get political on you but the bail out/rescue/whatever you like to call it plan that was recently passed will not help me get a job and it will not help schools increase their staff. Its SO difficult to look at myself from the outside in and not be selfish and wonder, "How am I falling thru the cracks?"

I have 2 college degrees and most recently a teaching certification. I'm outgoing, consistent, reliable and trustworthy. I have a good work ethic and I've never had so much passion to make a difference in the world as I have had the past 6 months or so. Yet the opportunities for me are non-existent right now.

It's a fine line I walk each day, balancing between the feeling that I've never been more blessed and the feeling that I'm terrified that this opportunity will not present the result I'm praying for.

To be in the classroom, to be engaging, encouraging and praising students each day is truly what I am supposed to do. I've never been so sure about anything. I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to realize this potential and passion within myself. But, there are no jobs! And the available jobs go to teachers with years of experience...I've been told that I may not even get the chance to interview!

So I have to have faith. Faith that there is a plan in place for me and that everything does happen for a reason. I can't imagine being given the gift of the realization of what I want to do with my life and not having the opportunity to use it.

So until I know more I have to take it one day at a time. And I have to cherish each day, each moment that I get to spend in the world of education. In hopes that one day, hopefully sooner than later, it will become more than just temporary.

A little Dennys...a little Home Depot....a lot of laughs

2009-02-03T16:11:00.004-06:00

Top 10 Reasons you would've laughed if you were me today

10. I only have 150 pages left of the 4th book in the Twilight series....I'll be a little sad when there's no more to read.

9. I got to teach 2nd grade for a 1/2 day today and had send 3 kids to the nurse and then home for having a 100+ temp.

8. I also had to break up a fist fight....thats right, closed fists of 2nd graders making contact with 2nd grade jaws. I freaked.

7. I went to Denny's wanting a free Grand Slam Breakfast for lunch but didn't pull into the parking lot when I saw over 100 people in line outside of the restaurant. Are you kidding me?

6. I decided I'm just cheap enough to give it another shot so I drove to another Denny's and waited in that line for a 1/2 hour and then I made it inside!!!

5. I randomly started chatting with the ladies around me and ended up sitting with them. And here, I was completely prepared to be "that girl" alone in the corner with my eggs.

4. It turns out two of the three ladies I sat with knew eachother because they grew up in the same area of Lousiana and had mutual friends/family.

3. It turns out two of the ladies lived in my home down around the same time I did and I have a BUNCH of mutual friends with one of them.

2. Just as I'd finished my breakfast, a random young man ran sprinting across the restaurant. I couldn't figure out what was going on until I saw the trail of remenants following him and the odor hit my nose. I guess he ate too many pancakes and decided to vomit the entire time as he ran to the bathroom. Yeah. I'm done. Thanks

and the number one reason you would've laughed if you were me today...

BF sent me to home depot with a shopping list that consisted of a metal pipe and a blow torch. I'm laughing just thinking about all the looks of confusion that were flying my way. Ahhhhahahahah.

In all seriousness, I spoke with the manager at Dennys and asked him what brought on this Free Grand Slam promotion. His answer was so refreshing. He told me that Denny's really wanted to send a message to Americans that even though times are tough, wallets are tight and hopes are low...you can still get good service and great food at a reasonable price. I think they now actually have a 99 cent breakfast menu! Regardless, everyone there was smiling, friendly and really enjoying this great promotion that Dennys offered today.

Okay Okay...I admit it!

2009-01-31T13:38:00.002-06:00

I gave in. I'd heard the rumors and I wasn't going to be one of "those people"...much like my childhood when I refused to join in the histeria that was being a New Kids on the Block fan. I still have the one unopened cassette tape that I was given.

Yet this month, my will was not as strong.

I am now in the midst of a full on Stephanie Meyer obsession. Thats right, friends. I read Twilight in 3 days, New Moon in 2 and I'm 200 pages into the third book (which I started this morning). I saw the movie last night and am already sad at the thought that soon, there will be nothing left to read.

It was embarassing to be reading the same book as the students I've been teaching and I absolutely kept the cover out of view.

All that said, let me remind you that I'm not one to get lost in a book. Sometimes it can take me months to finish a book. This was not this case with this series. I highly recommend it and love every page!

A different perspective on history.

2009-01-20T20:18:00.003-06:00

I had an incredible day and there are not too many days that I can truly consider incredible. Today was memorable...today was historic.

Let me be clear....I voted for McCain. I don't regret it, I'd do it again today. Anyone that can give that kind of sacrifice for our country earns my vote. I support his position on so many issues and wanted him to be #44. That being said, I fully support our new President just as I did "Dubya." I believe that change is upon us and today was a new day.

Today, I had the priveledge of substituting for a precious class in one of my favorite elementary schools. The school administration asked us all to turn on our TVs at 10:25 to watch the inauguration. Had I not had a job today, I would've watched the inaguration but probably not intently. I would've had it on the tv while doing chores, etc. But being in the classroom, I had an obligation to our country (not to sound too deep) and to these kids to really explain that today was historical.

In my class today, we didn't just watch the inauguration. We discussed historical landmarks that were shown, historical figures present and their roles, historical items (Abe Lincoln's bible carried by Michelle in a fireproof and waterproof box) and other observations about the day. I was amazed at how inquizitive these kids were. It truly was a group learning as any question they came up with that I didn't know, they went to the computer and researched the answer. It was active learning in its truest form. They even had fun trying to "stump" me with historical questions. (I'm sorry to say I did not know what year the White House or Capitol buildings were built.)

They learned about the features of President Obama's limousine, the climate there, they imagined what it would feel like to be there to witness the event and what it would feel like to be President Obama. We discussed how you become president and the differences between President and Vice President. We looked up former presidents and read the presidential responsibilities and powers.

After the ceremony, we discussed different observations (it was cold; Obama had a red tie, Bush had a blue tie) and what they would tell their families tonight about what they saw.

We also discussed what other historical events that have happened in their lifetime. I was pleased that they remembered 9/11, the tsunami, hurricane Katrina and Michael Phelps winning 8 gold medals.

In my education classes, we've studied the brain and studied what learning styles make the biggest difference. Lecturing and having someone read to you are the least effective methods and teaching your peers is the most effective.

This was proven today in my class. By teaching these kids and discussing our nation, I was affected in a way I never expected to be. To me, today was truly historic. It was historic because we inaugurated the first African-American President, but also because I was once again amazed, impressed and reassured in the generation that we are all raising.

The future is bright....I hope I can help direct the light.

28 years 10 months 18 days 14 hours and 8 minutes old

2009-01-18T14:00:00.002-06:00

Yes, I'm 28. And for some reason, I'm having a hard time coping with turning 29. Maybe it's because it is the last year of my 20s, or because I'm enduring a career change, or because I'm at the age that I thought was "really old" when I was little.

Regardless, on March 22, I will start the farewell party to my 20s.

Instead of making a list of everything I thought I would've accomplished by now that I haven't, I'm going to make a list of everything I'd like to accomplish by the big 30.

1. Get a teaching job
2. Lose 20+ lbs
3. Decide what color my hair needs to be.
4. Go snow skiing
5. Take a vacation
6. Get my stuff organized..ack.
7. Get a new computer
8. Make 3 new friends
9. Do something for someone else that they need but is out of my "comfort zone"
10. Shift focus to living in the moment
11. Become more eco-friendly
12. Give back
13. Make my bed at least 4 days a week
14. Wake up earlier
15. open for improvement suggestions

I think this is a big list so I'm starting now instead of waiting for 29 to bite me.

Cooler than cookies??? No way!

2009-01-13T09:51:00.002-06:00

We had a knock on our front door on Sunday afternoon. When I opened it, I saw our neighbors from a few doors down and their daughter at our door. I opened the door and realized that she was wearing brown vest...I thought it was an odd choice in attire and then it hit me!!!

"Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?"

Oh yes my dear dear friends....it's that time again. I CAN NOT Believe it!!! Last year, you remember my desperate quest to find these $3.50 boxes of happiness and could not find them. And this year, before I even realized it was time, they came to me! I asked BF if he wanted any because obviously I was buying some and he yelled from the back room "Samoas and Thin Mints." You see, this is why we work together. He knows the names of his GS cookies of choice without a second thought.

I'm not sure when she'll deliver my cookies but I'm thinking I should buy more than I did....I mean, really, 2 boxes of thin mints? Who am I kidding...I have plenty of room in my freezer! One day, yes one day....I will be cookie mom.

And anyone who doesn't plan to buy some....please at least buy a box or two. These girls go thru actual sales routines and practicing...they are prepared to answer your questions should you be diabetic, etc. They don't just grab a box and knock on your door!!! And there are prizes that they get depending on how much they sell.

Happy eating!

funny story

2009-01-10T11:03:00.002-06:00

so my sister and law and 6 year old nephew were talking before christmas and she asked him if he was excited about Santa coming and getting to open all of the presents under the tree. their conversation went a little something like this:

Nephew:"Yes Mom but Christmas isn't only about presents. It's about celebrating Jesus."
Sis: "Thats right honey!"
Nephew: "Because it's Jesus' birthday, right?"
Sis:(feeling so proud) "Thats exactly right!"
Nephew: (pauses to think)"Exactly how old is Jesus going to be this year?"
Sis: (not wanting to get too deep)"He looks like he's in his mid 30s."

Can you say Classic!
I just about lost it I was laughing so much!

New year...new....um...I'm out.

2009-01-06T14:54:00.002-06:00

So I'm sitting here looking at my depressing crooked Christmas tree and trying to scramble up the motivation to take it down. Is it all that bad to be the crazy lady on the street who leaves her Christmas lights and tree up year round? I just like seeing the lights, it makes me happy people!!

Normally, a new year brings motivation and optimism for me. This year, I'm struggling to find that breath of fresh air that comes with a new beginning. It's probably because nothing has changed, as of yet, in my quest for employment. I'm hopeful and trying to be patient.

For now though, I'm pursuing part-time retail employment so that I can continue to be in the classroom as much as possible. So cheers to all of you who are starting the new year with new challenges, hopes, etc....I'm going to do my best to let you rub of on me.

Until then, Happy 2009 and Hook 'em Horns!

Fiesta Bowl

2009-01-05T18:01:00.003-06:00

So as you all should know, tonight is the Fiesta Bowl where the Texas Longhorns take on the Ohio State Buckeye.

I have to say, I like the Ohio State fans...we had a great time over the past few match ups but I'm excited about a neutral site.

So tonight, if things go as planned, I'll only eat one of these. (I made these today from my new Longhorn Cookbook!)

If not, I'll eat the entire tray.

Hook 'Em Horns!

Merry New Year!

2009-01-02T21:29:00.002-06:00

We are back from a whirlwind trip from Sin city. We went to visit my nephews for New Years and had a blast.

It's really hard for me to believe that it is 2009. I wonder how long it will take before I stop writing 2008 by accident.

During the trip I noticed several things. Here is my top ten list.

10-The strip is REALLY long and made of concrete yet women everywhere were in stilettos....this..i don't understand.
9-They have slot machines in grocery stores. Awesome.
8-We took the nephews skating on a floating ice skating rink at Lake Las Vegas....it's a must see. So much fun.
7-BF and I had every intention of really gambling this time, eating at a fancy dinner and buying one of those enormous drinks to walk around with. We spent $5 on the wheel of money, $1 each on penny slots, ate at The Cheesecake Factory and bought 99 cent margaritas and had a blast!
6-Every major city is getting a naked or nearly naked man. NYC has the naked cowboy, Austin has "Leslie" and Vegas had a man in a bikini, tiara, miniskirt, makeup and heels (we saw him 3 times in one night.)
5-I always thought those people on the side of the strip that flip cards and try to hand them to you were handing out advertisements. I learned exactly what they were advertising this year. BF was more than happy to grab several examples to show me.
4-I greeted everyone today with a "Happy New Year" and they looked at me like I was slow. Does that greeting expire on Jan 1st? If so, I missed the memo.
3-This is the first year in many that I didn't wake up with a hangover on Jan 1. It was so nice! We all toasted with sparkling cider, sparkling pear, etc and it was just as fun!
2-Never give BF a noisemaker on new years eve...I'm just now getting my hearing back.
1-I saw SO many military men and women at the airport today. During all of the madness of the holidays, we forget about those who are serving our country and were not able to see their families this year. Say a prayer for them and thank them the next time you see one.

I didn't make a new years resolution this year. I think mine will just be to be a better version of myself.

A better girlfriend, friend, neighbor, teacher, student, christian, daughter, sister, aunt and person.

Happy New Year to all of you!

Christmas Production

2008-12-26T16:32:00.002-06:00

Did someone send you an E-Christmas Card this year? With an electronic newsletter? Yeah...I got that too. Its rare that our generation actually uses stamps! Maybe I should go ahead and auto schedule e-cards for the next 10 years to be emailed on Christmas Eve. I bet I can do it from an iphone! Heck I can record video messages and have a soundtrack playing in the background! Not a traditional Christmas song, of course, maybe a pop icon's version of All I Want for Christmas is a Wii. Or Wii Wish You A Merry Christmas. Sometimes I wish we could go back....when there were CAR phones in case of emergency and people actually "caught up" in person, in letters or thru a lengthy phone conversation.

My favorite part of Christmas is coming home and going to the Christmas Eve church service with my family. I have such awesome memories of attending in my pjs as a child and reuniting with old friends as I grew up.

Our church is enormous and has members from all walks of life which is part of what makes it unique and part of what makes it so inviting. Over the past few years, our church has changed...some say "evolved."

This was expected when our original pastor retired and handed over the reigns to his replacement. But now it seems that I barely recognize the church that had such a huge part in framing the christian that I am today.

Now it seems that going to church is more a production than ever before. Complee with programs that advertised upcoming concerts, a 4 minute message from our pastor, the trio that rocked out to an electric guitar and a version of Joy to the World that no one could sing along to and the complete absence of any traditional Christmas hymns. I left feeling disappointed and cheated.

I very much support Praise music in churches. I think it reaches out to those who didn't grow up in a church or who are looking for a more modern/contemporary service. I was raised where we had Praise music during our Wednesday night bible studies or in youth group. It was extremely rare to hear that in "Big Church" as we called it. The women wore dresses, hose and heels and the men wore ties. You dressed up, you sang hymns, you read scripture and you studied the bible. The pastors message reached you and made you think...but the message was scripture and how to apply it.

I can't help but feel that modern churches focus so much time and energy on the performance and production and less on the message.

To me, it's not about the stage lights, the sound board, the band, the video screen (grrr...thats a soap box in itself...i don't want to see advertisements or commercials, tell me what i need in the program) It's not about having the newest cool christian song cause guess what, when you ask me to stand and sing along...if i have to read the video screen for the words that is not cool!).

I miss the days where we would sing as a congregation and you would hear harmony through out the crowd because they were songs we knew by heart. How am I supposed to harmonize if I don't know the melody?

I don't need a glamorous church. I remember when the glamorous aspect to the service was a solo or a small group and maybe a handbell performance. Where has that gone?

I'm tempted to write a note to the new pastor but I'm afraid he won't even read it or care. I think he has plans for this church that include erasing everything that it was except for the real estate.

So how is it, at 28 years old, I suddenly feel like an old person? Where are the churches that have a hymnal in each row that don't collect dust? Are we losing focus? I don't believe in adapting or modernizing the bible to meet our needs....we are supposed to adapt ourselves to meet his needs.

I guess I have to go searching thru podcasts for a video of what church used to be. Should I start in the "oldies" section? Mabye someone will send me another Ecard christmas card or txt me information.

Marley Update

2008-12-22T00:23:00.002-06:00

I'm so pleased to announce that we found a home for Marley, just in time for Christmas.

Thanks to all of you who helped and if anyone needs a kitten, we still have several more!

Bad Frys-Good Lesson

2008-12-21T12:00:00.002-06:00

Ok, I'm not the person to name call or use my blog for my own benefit but the gloves are off today!!! I have a story to share with you and hope that you will read it and never give Frys Electronics your business afterwards.

Disclaimer: The names have been changed in order to protect the actual crappy people that I dealt with.

I went to my local Frys last week because I am buying the same gift for 3 family members and wanted to get the best value for my money.
I found the department and asked an associate to help me, enter "Corey".

I wont go into the details of the entire experience but to summarize, this is what happened:

I told the sales rep that I had a budget. The first item he suggested for me was $15 over my budget. I reminded him that I had a budget because I'm unemployed and that since I'm buying 3, his item would cost me an additional $45. To which he replied, "yeah but it's only $15 more."

Next, he suggested one that was $5 over my budget so I thanked him for offering to give me $15 to help me cover the overage. He did not laugh and decided I wasn't worth his time. He again reminded me that it was only $5 over my budget. When I reminded him again of my budget, he pointed to what he called "the crappy ones" and started to walk off.

I stopped him by asking him some technical information about one of "the crappy ones" and he said that he wouldn't even know what to tell me about it because, "No one ever buys these and I don't know anything about them." Exit Corey.

Ok friends....here is my beef. Yes, I would absolutely love to buy my friends and family the best and newest Christmas gifts on the market. I would love to have an endless budget where I could adopt a family, provide for my family and help anyone in need this holiday season. But in reality, I haven't had a steady paycheck in 4 months and I'm lucky that I can give any gifts at all. I am saddened by this current situation but I refuse to let it get me down because spending $ is not what this season is about. And when I go to buy a gift for someone, I don't need some crappy salesclerk trying to make me feel like a cheapskate.

So, I called the PIC (Person In Charge) and reached "Peter." I walked Peter thru my unpleasant experience in his store and told him that I didn't appreciate the way "Corey" made me feel. I also told him that I could pretty much guarantee that I wasn't the only person in Frys at that moment who was either unemployed or who was cutting back this year due to the economy.

Peter replied, "Well, you see, we as a company encourage our employees to encourage our customers to spend more in our store. Its called up-selling."
"Thanks Peter for the sales lesson. I'm fully aware of the concept of upselling." I replied.
"Oh good." Peter said as a smart aleck. "So you understand that we, as a company, make more money if our employees encourage spending in our stores."
At this point I wanted to reach thru the phone.
"Yes, Peter. I'm not an idiot. I understand the sales process. And I also understand that if you make your customers feel like crap while executing your 'sales process' you will no longer have customers. And I would think that given our economy and the fact that stores are closing left and right, you would encourage your employees to focus more on meeting the NEEDS of the customer instead of reaching the wallet of the customer."

Peter and I went back and forth and he even had the nerve to tell me that he didn't understand how Corey had hurt my feelings. He eventually said he'd tell Corey to be more sensitive and quickly got me off of the phone. A$$

I then called the Store Manager, the District Manager and the Corporate HQ. Cause I was just that pissed.

I know what you're thinking, dramatic. But after I got off the phone with Peter, I cried the entire way home. This has never happened. And I thought, if someone can have this affect on me and I'm doing fairly well given my situation....what kind of effect will they have on the person that is barely holding it together?

To end on a positive note, I heard back from the sales manager who assured me that was NOT the way their employees or managers were to handle sales or sensitive situations. He apologized profusely and stated that he would have a conversation with all involved.

I don't mean to rant and get everyone down in the dumps a week before Christmas. I do this, in fact, to help. Because this year, more than any other, we are all in this together. We all know someone, are related to someone or are in some way affected by the economy. Whether you are using less electricity/gas this year but paying more, had your savings/investments affected by this economy, know someone who is having a harder time doing the same job, know someone who is without a job, has had their work or pay cut back, or simply scared that they will be in one of the scenarios I mentioned....you recognize that its different this year. And so many people feel like they are on their own, with no one to turn to.

But we are a community, we are neighbors and we all rely on eachother. Whether we celebrate Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa or nothing at all, times are tough. So this year, more than ever, recognize eachothers effort, recognize the difference that people make in your lives, and recognize the needs, success and hopes of those around you. You might be person that is the straw that broke the camels back...but more importantly, you could be the person that reminds them to keep going, shows them the reason for the season and shows them that they can count on their neighbors, their friends and their community.

So all of you, my neighbors, family and community...I thank you for being there for me. I hope that your needs are met and your wishes are granted this holiday season. And if anyone gives you trouble....give me a call because you know I've got your back!

Economical Angel Tree

2008-12-18T22:39:00.002-06:00

So I finished the majority of my Christmas shopping this evening at the local mall. I rarely venture into the mall outside of December so it is always a unique experience.

I found a parking place with ease (a benefit of having a teachers schedule) and didn't have to go too far before finding gifts for those "hard to shop for" friends on my list. I bought a coffee with a starbucks card I'd gotten a few weeks ago and was feeling particularly chipper and in the holiday spirit when I found the table where they had the Angel tree. Every year, one of my favorite parts of my holiday is giving back to my community. I haven't had the opportunity to give back this year and since I'm on a tighter budget and experiencing hard times of my own, it was even more important for me to find a way to give back. The Angel tree seemed like the perfect thing.

For those of you who don't know about the Angel tree, many organizations, churches and malls have a tree filled with "angels." These "angels" are children in need and their angel ornament lists their name, sex, age and what they want/need for Christmas. For example, it would say
"Timothy
Boy
11 years old
Shoe size 6
Shirt M
Pant Size 8
Wants educational books, new coat, Spiderman pajamas, teddy bear and Pokemon cards"

I began searching thru the "angels" with the intent to find an angel that wasn't in high demand. The babies are always picked and the kids under the age of 6 or so. Usually its the kids that are older, have requests for clothes (instead of toys) or have unusual sizes that are the last ones left on the tree.

I skimmed over the selection....Katie-13-Digital Camera, Josh-15-PSP, Ginger-14-Ipod Video, Hannah-17-portable DVD player, Cameron-11-Nintendo Wii.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm shopping in a very affluent area but..ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? This tree is supposed to be for children in need. A tree asking for the support of the community to give to those less fortunate and there isn't a single wish/need that can be granted for under $100??? I don't spend that much on my family members, how in the world do you expect me to fit these wishes into my budget?

I don't mean to sound like a Scrooge but who is the person who organized this? Who picks these "needy" children? I'm not saying that these kids can't have big wishes but the point of an angel tree is to truly meet the needs of these children. What good is a Nintendo Wii going to do if they don't have a home, a tv or money to pay the electric bill? What good will that do if they don't have shoes that fit, a coat to keep them warm and toys that will help further their education?

I was so mad when I saw the gift suggestions listed on these ornaments that I walked away without adopting a single angel. And I had such a bad taste in my mouth that I thought about it the entire way home. I want to know who has the nerve to print these requests and hang them on the tree. If there is ever a year to get back to our basic needs, its this year.

It reminds you that in tough times, greed never cuts back. Here's hoping that those who are truly in need this year, this holiday season, are not overlooked by those just looking for a handout.

Don't Wig Out

2008-12-17T16:55:00.002-06:00

There are no words...and no need for them. Sorry, I don't know how to rotate the video:

A Home for Marly

2008-12-15T00:37:00.002-06:00

So, my parents have these cats that adopted them. Most of them we've placed with a family or found a no-kill rescue shelter to take them. However, there is one tiny kitten that they can't bear to risk it growing up in a shelter. We named it Marly and she has her first round of shots and has been living in their laundry room for the past 2 weeks. The plan was for my cousin to adopt her but we just found out that my cousin's roommate is allergic.

So...just a little more than a week out from Christmas and Marly is without a home. My parents can't keep her because my brother in law is really allergic and they are coming on the 22nd. PLEASE PLEASE help us find a home for this adorable kitten...she truly is one of the cutest cats I've ever seen.

If you are interested in adopting Marly please email me at theflipsideofthepillow@gmail.com

I passed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-11T12:13:00.001-06:00

As some of you know, I took my certification exam on Tuesday. Monday night there were tornadoes, Tuesday a.m. I woke with my monthly visitor and a cold sore on my lip. I had to drive to Wichita Falls and I drove into a massive cold front. My test took over 3 hours, my brain was shot and the temp had dropped below freezing and it was starting to sleet.

I wasn't able to stop by and see my Granny, big bummer, as I had to get back on the road to make it home before the awful weather caught up with me.

Anyway, I just found out that I PASSED!!!!!!

This means that I can officially be hired at any school (grades 4-8) to teach! I'm so excited!

crazy lights

2008-12-08T16:01:00.004-06:00

In a neighborhood near ours lives this man who goes all out when it comes to Christmas lights. And I mean ALL OUT. He has his own small radio station that he broadcasts from his home and his lights are hooked up to the music. He adds more each year...this video is from last year. Check this out:

25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18..............

2008-12-04T10:54:00.004-06:00

It's no secret that I have a ridiculously girlie taste in TV. Reality, Romance, Trash....I watch it.

And the best time of year for me is ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas and Falalala Lifetime.

Thats right, friends. Every day until Christmas a made for tv movie or otherwise seasonal flick is showing on these channels. Add in an occiasional TLC or WE special and you have yourself some holiday entertainment for the rest of 2008. And, if you have or On Demand, you can watch them at your convenience without paying the extra $14.99 a month for the DVR box! I love it!

So far my favorites are Borrowed Hearts, Christmas Do-Over, Picking Up & Dropping Off (old but good)

Welcome back lights!!

2008-12-04T10:48:00.002-06:00

While driving home last night, I noticed that my neighborhood light display is growing as each day passes. It reminded me that I have not gotten a single holiday decoration down from my attic and I am behind big time!!! (notice, I did not say I have a big behind....I said I'm behind in a big way....don't confuse the two)

Anyhow, as soon as I can get my lazy behind off of this sofa, I plan to begin the process of transforming this home into a holiday masterpiece since my momma will be visiting us on Saturday.

This thought brought me back to our last holiday where the formerly nice old man across the street transformed himself into "that guy" and turned his sprinklers on during the trick or treat night of sweets. I'm telling you, his meanness is the reason we didn't have as many ghosts and goblins at our door.

So I'm wondering, as each day passes, if he will continue this streak and become a bah humbug neighbor. He didn't put lights on his house and I don't remember seeing a tree. Hopefully I'm wrong, but if I had to guess what goes on behind that red door of his....I'd think it goes a little like this:

Gobble Gobble Gobble

2008-11-25T20:41:00.002-06:00

This is a week full of family, friends, and remembering what we are thankful for.

This is also the beginning of the holiday season. A season which is often hard for those who have lost loved ones, jobs, friends, etc.

So take the time and say thanks to those around you, even if you think they know that you appreciate them....tell them anyway. You might be that one bright light for them that brings that smile on their face.

As for me, I may not have a full time job or the promise of one in the near future but right now, I feel more blessed than ever before. I thank all of you for listening to me ramble, rate and rave and I thank you for what you bring to my life!

I hope you all have a safe, wonderful and very Happy Thanksgiving....I'll talk to you again after my jeans fit a little tighter!

Oh...and Hook 'em Horns!

Grab a tissue...

2008-11-22T12:43:00.001-06:00

My mom sent this to me today and somehow I've never seen it.

I got a little teary eyed a little over halfway thru, I'd forgotton how beautiful our national anthem is.

These are 5 girls ages 6-8 with the most incredible harmony.

Enjoy!

Extra Extra Read All About It!

2008-11-20T22:57:00.004-06:00

This week I filled up my car (something I don't always do) and I put in premium gas (again, something I don't always do but I should.)

And my friends......

An entire fill up, on premium gas, was less than $28.00!!!!!!!!!!!

I was so excited I almost peed a little.

fantasy #1....check

2008-11-17T22:18:00.002-06:00

Today, I was a substitute in one of my favorite schools in the district. I had met several of my students during prior sub gigs and student teaching days.

As the students were completing their warm-ups, this one sweet boy walked up to my desk, smiled and handed me a shiny red apple. The best part is, he didn't bring this apple to his normal teacher...he knew me and knew that I'd be subbing in his class today.

I wish there was a way to explain to him how much that simple gesture meant to me. It was awesome.

Pure Optimism

2008-11-12T19:52:00.002-06:00

On my way home from subbing today I thought....How much would you smile tomorrow if you knew that tomorrow was the only day that you could smile the whole week? Would you take advantage of every moment? Would you go beyond smiling and laugh?

Me? I'd try my best to make someone else smile because then.....I'd know that even though it was MY only day to smile, I could make it contagious for someone else.

One of the biggest compliments I've ever been given was when someone told me that I'm one of the most optimistic people they know. This was such a huge compliment because its one of my biggest goals.

If you've kept tabs on me over the past few months, you know that optimistic was not a word to describe me at certain points during this time. Thankfully....this has been a great week.

I found something this week that I hope will keep me optimistic and remind me of all we have to be thankful for. As BF would tell you, I love me some Jon and Kate + 8....seriously, watch the show....cutest kids.

Anyway, their new ads have this incredible song playing in the background and it's my new obsession. I'll attach the video but while you watch it ....read the words. This is the stuff we should be reading each day.

I hope this song makes you smile and gets you thru your hard days.

Hey child up and go
-Big world is out there waiting for us to
live in every day

Outside you will find
there is love all around you
-Takes you, makes you wanna' say

That it's a beautiful life
and it's a beautiful world
and it's a beautiful time
to be here, to be here, to be here

The sky's blue
-just us two
Side by side we'll see the world
that surrounds us
-Hey, seize the day

Each road - every mile's a photograph in motion
to astound us, carry us away

into a beautiful life
'Cause it's a beautiful world
and it's a beautiful time
to be here, to be here

Leave all your cares behind you
The sun is rising
Turn around -it's right in front of you
and it's a beautiful life
and it's a beautiful time
to be here, to be here, to be here

Visa Keychain

2008-11-10T15:44:00.002-06:00

So, as you know I had to change all of my account info because of the virus I got last weekend. After waiting for what seemed like weeks to get my replacement card, it finally arrived.

Thankfully, my bank was able to provide me with a temporary card that looks exactly like my credit card just with the name "Preferred Customer"

The genius at my bank decided she needed to write "Please See ID" on the back of this card.

um......

Sorry, but the name on my drivers license is not Preferred Customer. Here's your sign.

Back to this week....I get my new card and the fine people at VISA or my bank (I'm not sure which) have created an easier way for you to spend your money, A keychain VISA card.

I'm not even kidding...for those of you with laptops, its smaller that the touchpad on your laptop and you're supposed to attach it to your keychain.

Am I the only one who thinks that you have to be a complete idiot to utilize this?

Are you really that stupid to hang your credit card on a keychain??

Here's Your Sign. Happy Monday!

That mean old man

2008-11-09T12:44:00.002-06:00

I have a new perspective on the man you grew up referring to as "that mean old man." This new perspective was gained when I realized that he lives across the street from us.

He is that man who lives alone, is a bit older and really keeps to himself. We didn't meet him until we'd lived there for over 6 months.

He is quiet but polite, not overly conversational but well educated. And up until a few weeks ago, I just thought he was a nice old man.

And then Halloween arrived......

It was around 7pm, just as the sun was starting to set, and I was a little disappointed as we were still waiting the arrival of our first trick-or-treater of 2008. Finally, the doorbell rang and cheerleader and Redskins football player were wide-eyed at our door (wide-eyed because our house was pretty spooky this year). As I was handing out candy, complimenting the costumes and saying hello to the parents I noticed the man across the street open his door. He glanced over to our house, I smiled and waved and he walked out to the side of his house. I didn't think anything of it and I said goodbye to the kiddos. And then, I heard it....

tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, purrrrrrrrr

The jerk (formally known as man) had turned his sprinklers on!!!! He walked back inside, shut the door and turned his porch light off.

I was so mad...and the worst part is that his sprinklers were positioned so they sprayed all the way to the curb so any kids walking by would have to walk out into the street to avoid getting wet!!!!

I haven't said anything to the aforementioned jerk and I don't really know what or if I will say....but let me tell you this....NEXT YEAR, that will not happen.

And if you have been that jerk on Halloween, DON'T!!! You don't have to give out candy, you don't even have to answer the door....just don't be THAT house!

Election Day....dun dun dunnnnnn

2008-11-04T09:27:00.003-06:00

I voted last week during early voting...I've never seen so many people turn out! I only had to wait in line about 10 minutes and the church had cookies! Score!

I won't get into the politics because I'm exhausted from this election but I will say this:

After I voted, an elderly gentleman was waiting for me at the exit doors. He extended his hand, shook my hand, gave me a sticker that said "My Vote Counted" and said, "Thank you for doing your civic duty once again."

Something about that moment left me feeling incredibly empowered. I burst thru the doors and immediately looked for the news crew that I was sure wanted to get a statement from me...after all, I just did my civic duty!!!

Yeah...there was no one there. But I voted and I'm not kidding, it made my day. I hope you all will vote too.

Apologies and Updates

2008-11-03T13:11:00.002-06:00

I'm SO sorry...

Ok...top ten things that have kept me from updating:

10. My computer is still partially infected. BF's cousin was able to remove the virus but there are some files that he couldn't get off. Since they can't work, they just sit there and suck up all of my memory therefore causing my computer to take at least 10 minutes to open a web page (not kidding)
9. I've had several interviews! Yahoo! I'll keep you posted.
8. I've been spending a lot of time in the classroom..another Yahoo!
7. I've started substitute teaching.
6. I'm still not finished painting the house (BF is not happy about this one).
5. My Dad came in town on business and I spent time as his side kick.
4. We went out of town to BF's alma mater for homecoming.
3. I'm bitter about the loss to Texas Tech...but surprisingly shocked that we're still in the top 5!
2. I'm shopping for a lighter orange than I usually buy and a cherry red as I'll be cheering for the OK State Cowboys and OU Sooners in the coming weeks.

And the number one and most important reason:
1. I had a really horrible 10 days or so. Seriously people, it was bad...it is the most depressed that I've ever been. If someone you know is unemployed...PLEASE...take a moment and call them or shoot them an email just to see how things are going. And PLEASE....DO NOT SAY THESE WORDS TO THEM, "So, how's the job hunt going?" I guarantee you, if they have found a job they probably wont answer your call during the workday or they'll take at least 2 days to respond to your email. They need to know that you are calling to see how THEY are doing, not their job search. I have always considered myself to be an optimist and a positive person. But the past few weeks I have felt worthless as a person and a member of society, I didnt feel like I deserved to go vote because I wasn't contributing to society.

Unemployment has affected every aspect of my life...I am so sensitive to everything as I'm already down to begin with. Some days I didn't want to get out of bed...and with my computer broken, I didn't have the resources to search for jobs. I have to say that I've never appreciated my BF more...he has been so supportive of me and he has held his tongue (for the most part) when needed and he's been able to share his feelings/concerns when appropriate. He has given me a peptalk and this is a much better week but it is definitely a day to day struggle.

So, basically...I apologize for not updating and THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone that emailed me...I feel so popular and loved...I appreciate you checking in on me and if nothing else, this experience has shown me who my friends really are....you mean more than you know!

I promise to do better but I can only update from BFs computer so it may be splotchy for awhile.

Nothin but love for ya!

I-Scream for Ice Cream

2008-10-24T19:52:00.004-05:00

Why is it that when you crave some ice cream and you know you shouldn't indulge....at that very moment the ice cream lid decides to suction cup itself to the ice cream container? So, you proceed to pry open the side while rotating the container in 1 inch incraments so many times that you actually go around the container twice. Finally, after you're exhausted and your hand and forearm are cold and sticky, the lid is removed.

At this point, I'm so irritated that I don't even want ice cream anymore.

But you can bet I eat it anyway.

Infected...round 2

2008-10-23T13:32:00.004-05:00

Last time I was infected was this past summer with the sinus infection from Hades that just wouldn't go away.

This time...it's different.

Since joining the masses in the unemployment line, I've been spending a large amount of time on my trusty laptop. It's seriously shocking...I take it with me out in the front yard attached to an extension chord and set it on top of the bushes while painting the house...I've become obsessed with One Tree Hill. (Never watched the show and I've caught up all the way thru Season 3.)

Since I don't have a tv hooked up to Fios in the kitchen, I am on my laptop while cooking, flipping back and forth between a recipe online and catching up on the shows I missed the previous week (90210, Brothers and Sisters, Desp Housewives, Greys, Private Practice, Fringe...you get the idea.) I've been a good girlfriend and willingly missed my favorite shows realizing I can catch up online.

ANYWAY...back to the point. Last week I ran a full system scan on my computer with both McAfee and Windows Defender. During the scan, Windows Defender popped up and said I had spyware on my computer but didnt have spyware protection. I followed the suggested link and purchased XP Antispyware 2009. This is where things started to go wrong.

I scanned with XP Antispyware and found all kinds of Adware and Spyware and promptly clicked "Remove" and continued on my way. This happened every day for a week. Sunday night I started getting every fake pop up known to man. Things saying I was infected, I needed anti-adware, the server was busy and I needed to try again. When I hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete it said that my task manager had been disabled by the System Administrator. (Um...note to hard drive.. I AM THE SYSTEM ADMIN...I didn't disable ANYTHING!!!)

So, I downloaded an online system scan and found 345 infected items...none of which could be removed unless I purchased the program.

SH*T

I called geek squad and the convo went something like this:

Me: "Um, hi. Something's wrong."
Geek: "Ok, what happened."
Me: "My background says I'm infected instead of the picture of me with a beer like it's supposed to be. I keep getting popups and it says I have Trojans, Spyware, Adware and something called a Rogue."
Geek: "Ok, when and how did this start?"
Me: "Well, last week I bought XP Antispyware 2009"
Geek: *Large Gasp*
Me: "What?"
Geek: "You bought a virus."
Me: "Sh*t. Oh, um...sorry. I mean crap."
Geek: "Do you have the Geek Squad protection plan?"
Me: "Of course not."

You get the idea.

Basically, this XP Antispyware 2009 is a scam. What makes it worse is that I paid for it!! Thats right, I put in my information and credit card number and asked to be infected!!!!

The bad news, the scam is so new that no antivirus software will pick up on it, remove it or fix it. And Geek Squad will charge me $199 to fix it.

The even bad-er news is that I had to go to the bank, change all of my account information and cancel my credit cards.

The good news is that nothing unusual had been charged on my credit card AND BF's cousin is a computer wiz and is fixing it for me (THANK GOODNESS.)

And to kick me when I'm down, I found that there was a monthly maintenance charge on my account for $5.95. When I asked what this was, I was informed that it was a fee charged because I don't have a direct deposit into my account anymore. So basically, they are punishing me because I got laid off. THANKS! Piece of ....

So, I'm all about having a moral for every story. Here's how you avoid this happening to you.

Are you ready?

This is BIG.

NEVER...and I repeat, NEVER run a scan on your computer while connected to the internet. Either turn off the internet button or unplug your cord. Because, it wasn't Windows Defender that popped up saying I needed to buy Anti Spyware, it was Spyware already on my computer that reacted when I started scanning it.

How I've gotten to this point without knowing this crucial information is beyond me.

I think I might arrange a seminar for young women and teach them the things I never learned but should have.

I'm thinking:
~How travel on your own (2001)
~how to paint (2001)
~how to use a lawnmower (2001)
~how to hang a light fixture (2001)
~how to check the dip stick(2002)
~how to start over in life and in love (2002)
~how to interview (2003)
~how to cold call (2003)
~how to manage 10 kids under the age of 10 (2004)
~how to check your tires to see if the strings are showing (2005)
~how to handle a stalker/crazy (2004 & 2006)
~how to groom a dog (2006)
~how to plant a garden (2007)
~how to cook (2007)
~how to cook healthy meals (2008)
~how to run a system scan (2008)
~how to handle getting laid off and how not to handle it(date to be determined)

I'm hoping it will help me fine tune my teaching skills. I'm going to charge $29.99 per person....are you in?

dangit..i'm it again.

2008-10-20T14:11:00.002-05:00

Texas Lauren at Must Love Dogs and My Parakeet tagged me again for this meme today. Here are 11 of my favorite things.

1. Clothes Shop

Well, since becoming part of the massive unemployment line, I haven't done much shopping. And really, even before that, I didn't really have favorite shops...more like favorite items. I love hoodies and flip flops, A-ine dresses and jackets. I don't care if my clothes are designer or resale, target or neimans.

2. Furniture Shop

hmm...same as above except to add garage and estate sales, hand me downs and gifts from mom.

3. City

Wow, in the US it's probably Keystone, CO. It's where I learned to ski, it's where my family had a winter house before the real estate crash of the 80s and I love going back to ski there. Summit county rocks.

Outside the US, probably a small town in Italy, Bassano del Grappa. It was the closest town to an even smaller town where I studied my junior year in college. Something about the lifestyle, the people, the pace, the wine, I loved it.

4. Sweet

I have a huge sweet tooth. I love peppermint ice cream (surprisingly not Blue Bell...I like the Dreyer's brand), my grannys chocolate chip cookies, and anything with cool whip.

5. Drink

Wine!

6. Music

I have a wierd taste in music...I like almost anything. I have to be able to understand the words and it has to tell a story. My favorite groups are John Mayer, Mercy Me, Sara Bareillis, George Strait, Clint Black, Rascal Flatts, Barry White, etc.

7. TV series

Grey's Anatomy, Lost, The Bachelor or Bachelorette, The Hills, Desp. Housewives, Brothers and Sisters, Coupling, Friends, ER, Private Practice, Jon and Kate Plus 8 and One Tree Hill. Also, I loved What about Brian (shame on ABC for cancelling it)

8. Film

Sleepless in Seattle, Home for the Holidays, Fletch, Bridget Jones' Diary, and my favorites from this year were Ironman and Definitely Maybe.

9. Workout

Hahahahahahahah. Yeah. My workouts lately have consisted of climbing up and down ladders painting the exterior of the house.

10. Pastries

Belive it or not, I'm not a huge pastry fan Although, there is a great little kolache place down the street from us. And as my former coworkers will tell you, there is a difference in a kolache and a danish, haha.

11. Coffee

Coffee was invented by the ptople who attended the first business or sales meetings. It is a survival tool for any meeting prior to 10am. However, now that I'm unemployed, I haven't stopped drinking it. I like mine with French Vanilla creamer and peppermint creamer during the winter (sensing a theme?) If I'm not making it and someone is buying it for me, I love pumpkin spice lattes, japanese coffee and peppermint mochas (i know...its a problem)

This is typically where I tag others but instead I'd like to ask you guys to say a prayer for my friend Lauren who just lost her grandfather yesterday. I've never met her but I enjoy her blogs and she's far from home right now which I'm sure is tough for her. Please say a little prayer for her and her family.

"Howdy ya'll, I'm Big Tex"

2008-10-17T11:43:00.004-05:00

Top Ten Things That I saw/loved/hated at the 2008 Texas State Fair:

#10. Normal people pay 9 tickets ($4.50) per beer. We find a tent, slide them some cash on the side and have a code word "Andy" and pay 7 tickets per beer all day.

#9. Having a Fletcher's corny dog with mustard for breakfast while holding on to the person in front of you trying not to get seperated while making our way thru the sea of red and orange to get to the stadium. Oh and by the way, it's Corny Dog NOT Corn Dog...get it straight.

#8. Sitting in the Lexus that I love at the car show and realize that it's only fancy on the outside and I can save my $75K for something else...maybe the Infiniti G37!

#7. Seeing all of the hilarious TX OU shirts that people made...my favorite this year was "You can't spell C*cks*cker without OU" haha...tacky but funny.

#6. Going to the nicest steakhouse in town for dinner in flip flops, tshirts, jeans, shorts, etc and fitting right in for that night only.

#5. Seeing people pay $200 a pop to get their teeth whitened at the fair (I should have taken a picture). We think part of the reason was to just have a chair to recline in for an hour. Seriously, teeth whitening...at the fair?? Won't the mustard and beer counteract that?

#4. Fried Snickers. We decided against this years fried specialty of chicken fried bacon. Seriously...to those of you who ate that...what were you thinking? In years past we've tried fried oreos, fried coke, etc. Fried snickers were pretty freaking good. BF now wants to have a Fryday. We get a fry daddy and everyone brings random stuff to fry and we try it all. I think if we top everything with powdered sugar it should be good! you're all invited.

#3. Each year we randomly run into some good friends that we haven't seen in ages. Last year it was friends from the media world, one of which slapped BF's a$$ (and then was embarassed when he realized he knew us) and this year it was my brothers best friend and his wife and kids...how random!

#2. Witnessing one of the best football games and seeing the Texas fans act like class acts after the game. Seriously, the OU fans have never been that nice/calm after the game and I'm so proud of the fans I saw. For those who did act like punks, we need to talk.

#1. Sham WOW!!! Thats right kids...I am now the proud owner of ShamWOW! I saw the demonstration, raised my hand to get a free set and saved $6 over what I'd pay ordering them online. I was so excited, I told random people about it and BF laughed at me. In case you aren't aware of the WOWness of ShamWOW...check it.

Tomorrow's game is against Mizzou, #1 is a scary place so cheer on my Horns....Hook 'em!

I don't heckle.

2008-10-12T14:28:00.005-05:00

Ok, I promise after today, I will get off of my longhorn soapbox but can I just say that yesterdays game was one of the best Red River Shootout games that I've ever seen.

And, I think anyone who knows me would agree that I don't heckle the losing team if my team wins and I'm pretty much a classy fan. We met a really nice OU couple on the dart ride back to our car yesterday and even watched out for them when a drunk Texas fan tried to heckle them.

THAT BEING SAID...I would like to gloat to any of you who simply root against Texas. This is not to the OU FANS...these are to the people who root for OU NOT because they love OU or have any loyalty to them, but ONLY because they hate Texas. To you people, I say, "Nannie nannie boo boo! Hook 'em Horns Baby!"

There were bad calls on both sides all day long...in the end, our 10 point victory was large enough that the victory can't be challenged.

Oklahoma has some incredible players and it scares me that their QB is only a sophomore. They definitely out played us in the first half.

But a huge round of applause goes to my Horns!!! What a stellar performance and if you have never been to this game, I highly recommend it...the atmosphere is unmatched.

And, of course, I've included some photos and video. More stories from the Texas State Fair to come!

Hook 'Em!

2008-10-11T07:42:00.002-05:00

It's 7:30am and we're getting ready to head out to the game...seriously people, why pick the 11am game for TX/OU...that means I have to have a cornydog for breakfast and beer instead of coffee! Indigestion, here I come.

Anyway, to get you thru the next 3 1/2 hours before kick off, enjoy THIS

It's official, OU Sucks! Hook 'em Horns!!!

Red River Shootout 2008

2008-10-10T10:45:00.003-05:00

Hook 'Em Horns!!

Tomorrow is the big game and we will be there in our burnt orange. For those who don't know, kick off is 11am central and I'm sure it'll be on ABC or another network.

To get you all pumped up and ready to get your horns up, please enjoy these great videos. And if you just can't get enough, check out Quick's Red River Rap Battle for this year b/t TX/OU.

100th post-what an honor

2008-10-05T22:43:00.003-05:00

Wow...I had no idea that this was the 100th post when I sat down tonight to blog.

Months ago, I thought about what I'd write today...and what an honor it would be to write this post...and what an honor it is to me that you read it. And now that its here, it's actually perfect because I'd like to honor someone very special with this 100th blog.

An extended family member of mine was honored this weekend for a lifetime of service. He had an Elementary School named after him and I was lucky enough to attend the ceremony.

During the ceremony, they told stories about him...how he hit the first home run in the first game of the first ever College World Series...how he was an educator, a principal, a superintendent and a friend. They also read a few items from his personnel file.

When you apply for a teaching job, you're asked to write your Philosophy of Education and they read his:

"I believe in child centered schools.
I believe our teachers should recognize the need of teaching reading, writing and arithmatic
But that music, art, reading for pleasure and getting along with others is just as important.
I feel that individual differences must be recognized and that these differences must be taken in consideration by the teacher."
-Hobbs Williams, 1956

When you really think about what he said, it is absolutely amazing how he viewed the depth of education, diversity and individuality in our children and in our schools. And as the Principal stated, his philosophy from the 50s is what is taught today, almost as if he could see the future of education. During the dedication, we were pleasantly surprised to learn that they honored his wife, a long time educator in the district, by naming the library after her.

Lastly, I just want to say how important it is to honor the living. Many of these awards are given posthumously, but seeing him accept this honor, it reminded me of how important and special it is to honor people while they are still with is, while they can enjoy it.

Go Wolves! And thanks for being a part of my first 100 blogs.

AWESOME

2008-10-02T15:16:00.003-05:00

I don't usually preempt my own blog but I saw this today and thought it was definitely worth it. So watch this and then scroll down and read my other blog for today (so that it doesn't feel cheated)

The once dreaded 3 to 5

2008-10-02T10:36:00.003-05:00

When I was working in the corporate world, I hated two things. Early morning staff meetings (this is when I started drinking coffee) and the 3 to 5pm time frame. My sister-in-law used to call me and we would laugh about how to survive the 3 to 5pm hours. One trip to the breakroom to buy a diet coke, two trips to the ladies room (walking slowly along the way), one trip to the stock room for post-its or mail, and so on....those alone would waste about 45 minutes.

Now that I'm unemployed, I have a different feeling about 3 to 5pm. Usually, I'm doing some chore around the house or preparing dinner. But yesterday, I found something that reallly made me smile.

So yesterday I was painting the house and was outside from about noon until 8pm. I found myself paying a lot of attention to what was going on in the neighborhood and I can now see how you can go crazy when you retire and have nothing to do but watch the neighborhood.

Side Story:
(Last week, I called one of my neighbors at work to see if he had another neighbors phone number because his garage door was up. He came home and told me my new profession would be the neighborhood watch captain.)

While painting yesterday, I waved at the school bus (not kidding) as it drove by after 3pm, said hello to Keith, our mailman, and greeted the DHL guy on his pick up.

It made me laugh how the neighborhood was silent until about 3:30pm when the mail was delivered and school was let out. With the exception of the occasional passing car, all I heard were birds, dogs and of course, the re-run of One Tree Hill I was watching on Hulu

But then, after 3:30pm, you gradually heard bikes, rollerblades and kids walking home or playing in the front yard. Suddenly, within about 15 minutes, the neighborhood was no longer quiet. Neighboring stay-at-home moms plugged in their extension cords to inflate their giant inflatable halloween decorations, sprinklers were turned on and dogs were walked. It was as if life was on hold while school was in session.

Around 5pm, Dads started coming home from work. Kids ran out to greet them yelling "Daddy" and I even saw a woman with one of those half aprons on, walking out to greet her husband. It was like I was transplanted into the 1950s and it was amazing.

It makes you realize the energy and excitement (and noise) that children generate. Although it doesn't seem as though this is the right time for me to go into teaching due to the economy and the fact that there are no teaching jobs in this city, I can't wait to one day become a part of that world. Until then, you can bet that each day I'm unemployed, I'll step outside sometime after 3 to witness the neighborhood transformation.

Maybe I'll even make a batch of crystal light or sweet tea for old times sake.

P all over the place

2008-09-29T09:49:00.005-05:00

Haha, that title made me laugh.

So, a little update...no job. No prospects, no clue where I'm headed.

I have people ask me 4500 times a day, haha.

Anyway, I realized that my life the past few weeks is composed of all things P.

I've already mentioned my oh-so-fab Margherita Pizza. See below...isn't it a beaut?

I've been painting for over a week now...and I'm just now halfway thru.

I have to call the plumber to fix the leak in the bathroom and the pest control guy to spray for carpenter ants.

Normally I wouldn't have the time to think about the things on my "to do" list and realize that they all start with P. Unemployment will do that to the brain.

Hope your week is going fabulously! Happy Fall to all of you

My week.

2008-09-21T20:46:00.004-05:00

We decided to take on the daunting task of painting the outside of the house. First off, painting sucks. Mainly because I like having money in my bank account so I don't pay anyone else to paint for me.

I've been painting for two days straight and I'm not even halfway done with the first coat...WHAT IS THAT ABOUT!!!

On a separate note...SHAMELESS PLUG for this month's Cooking Light magazine. I highly recommend the Margherita Pizza made from scratch, it is incredible!!! I've made 3 of them! And conversely, and I seriously warn you against the 3 cheese macaroni...it tastes like melted blue cheese and noodles.

Happy Monday everyone!

Ouch

2008-09-21T20:45:00.002-05:00

For those of you who watched the game yesterday, I'm sure this made you sick.

All I can say is...OUCH!!

Overdue pictures

2008-09-17T11:41:00.002-05:00

Well, life prior to my layoff seems years ago and so I'd forgotten to post these pictures from BF's birthday.

Enjoy!

Do we really need greeters?

2008-09-16T09:36:00.003-05:00

I don't understand the point of greeters. Other than Walmart, I've never seen a greeter with an actual purpose. At least with Walmart, the "greeter" or "elderly person" is incharge of putting a little sticker on each of the items you're returning and verifying that you didn't steal anything when your bag sounds off the alarm.

When I worked in retail, there was always an employee assigned to the front of the store for the same purpose as the Walmart greeter. But usually, we ended up harassing any potential clients. My favorite is when someone had just stepped foot into the store and we ask, "Good morning! Can I help you find anything?" and what do they answer? "No thanks, I'm just looking."

But I still can understand the purpose of that kind of greeter as you need someone near the door in case someone is going to steal something. But really, do we need to feel all warm and cozy when entering an establishment? Has there been some study proving that cozy people spend more money?

Here's what I don't understand. Yesterday I go to the bank to deposit the last of my severance/commission checks and I'm accosted by a bank greeter. A bank greeter!! In a time when unemployment is at a record high, we seriously have a need for a position as a greeter at the bank??

Think about it.

If I want to start a new account, I'm going to go to someone sitting behind a desk. If I want pretty much anything else, I'm going to go to the ATM or to a teller. The ONLY way I wouldn't know where I'm going is if I was 12 and opening my very first savings account. And in that case, I'm probably with my Mom or have been to the bank with my Mom enough times that I know whats up.

Yet, I have this young lady say, "Good afternoon, Ma'am. What can we help you with today?"

I wanted to say, "You can help me by not delaying me any further than I'm already delayed by having to actually walk into the bank because you don't have a drive thru at this location. So why don't you go make a fresh pot of coffee and stop annoying me. Oh, and don't call me Ma'am."

In reality I just shook my head and tried not to make eye contact, in the same way I handle the perfume sample ladies at the mall.

September 11th

2008-09-11T15:47:00.004-05:00

I've been amazed today to see that September 11th seems to be just another day again. I hope that each of you will remember what happened just a few years ago and make an effort to never forget.

Take a moment, take a breath, take time to remember those we lost, those who became heroes and those who still are our heroes and protectors.....fighting for us every day, in every country.

Here are some of the pictures I took on our trip to Ground Zero this past June.

God bless our troops, God bless those affected by 9/11 and God bless America.

Those who can't.....

2008-09-09T22:36:00.002-05:00

"Those who can DO, those who can't TEACH" ah, isn't that a lovely saying? Doesn't it motivate those educators that are then supposed to motivate our youth?

Most of you don't know that I've decided to pursue teaching. And to answer your question, yes..I started this process before I got laid off.

One of my best friends called me in July to discuss the possibility of teaching and I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. That phone call was a blessing. She gave me the final push I needed to get this process started, something I'd been thinking about for several years.

I was accepted into the program and am already halfway thru my content course.

I'm so excited about molding young minds....hahaha.

So here is my challenge to each of you. Think back to your best and worst teachers. I want to know what each of them did to make them the best or the worst.

Mine...Mrs. Tull in 3rd grade taught me creativity, passion and a love for animals.
Mrs. M* in 7th grade math made me hate math and fear it for the rest of my education. (I might end up teaching math to prevent this in the future)

I had too many great teachers to name....so do me a favor...next time you meet a teacher, instead of giving them a look of pity for accepting such a tiny salary, shake their hand and thank them for devoting their lives to what they do. Happy Tuesday everyone!

Change, the ugly duckling.

2008-09-06T15:38:00.001-05:00

It is amazing to me how change affects each of us. I used to think that change was my friend. I loved the way it would creep up and surprise me, most of the time with things that I had never thought of. I thought it was exciting, new, and challenging. There were times when I knew it was coming….because it was inevitable and we all expected it. And there were times when no one could’ve predicted it because it was coming whether we wanted it or not. It was like change, fate and destiny were all the best of friends and had the most creative of imaginations.

Most people don’t like change….even if they say they do. They don’t like change in their routines, in the bottom of their purse or collecting space on their nightstand. Change is that friend that is often uncomfortable, often unwelcome and usually takes a lot of getting used to.

But lately, no matter how much I used to love it, I’m not a fan of change and I haven’t been able to see it coming. Lately, change seems to be constant. Change seems to be all around me and the people that I love.

But when you think about change, whether it be in your life or in your pocket, it only really makes a difference when there’s a lot of it. In the big picture of life, a little change doesn’t amount to anything. But the more you have, the more opportunities you have to do something with it.

So I’ve decided that I’m no longer going to be afraid of it….I’m no longer going to dread it’s presence. Instead, I’m going to keep track of it and count it. Because, each time change appears, I’m a little bit closer to using it for something I really need.

cyclical guilt

2008-09-04T10:25:00.003-05:00

I sat here for about 10 minutes staring at a blank screen. You see, I have so much to say but can't seem to form it into a point. This week has been incredibly interesting for me. I'm definitely out of my comfort zone.

As I've been looking for a job, I've been busier than I ever thought an unemployed person would be. Yet as busy as I've been, I can't help but feel a little useless at the end of the day. And so I don't let myself have an end of my day.

When I was working, I was the type of person who could truly leave work at work and when I got home, my brain was free of stress/worry/etc hence why I could totally immerse myself in an episode of reality tv.

But now, even blogging, I'm overcome with guilt about the impact I should be making that I'm not...right here, right now.

I've never been the type of person who experienced guilt...mainly because I don't do things that I have to say I'm sorry for. And I didn't do anything wrong in this situation, yet I feel guilty.

ALL.THE.TIME.

So my first thought on how to end this time period in my life is to find a job as quickly as possible. However, I don't want to just take ANY job...I want to find another job that I love as much as I loved my last one.

And the circle continues....here's hoping something jumps out and stops me from spinning.

oh..and a big PS-please....under no circumstances, please do not baby talk me. I may be unemployed and it may suck, but I cannot stand to get voicemails or phone calls from those with the baby talk voice saying, "heeeyyyyyyy, hooooooww arrrrrrrreee youuuuuuuuu?" Nothing is more annoying.

"Life's a B*tch and then you get laid off"

2008-09-01T11:02:00.000-05:00

This was the subject of an email I received today from a good friend comforting me after my first official layoff yesterday. It was the 3rd layoff I've been thru in my professional career but the first one that I didn't survive.

I was shocked. Maybe shocked isn't the appropriate word, I don't that there is one. I had absolutely no warning, no signs, no knowledge that the company, or my job, was in danger.

Typically the salespeople are safe in any company as they need money coming in. Apparently, things are bad at my former job because 20% of the entire company and 75% of the sales team were laid off...leaving one guy in sales and half the # of employees that were with the company when I started a year and a half ago.

Let me back up and tell you that I'm good at my job. (or I was good at my job). I'd never received anything but raving reviews from my bosses and I was just offered a promotion. Unfortunately for me, these layoffs were not performance based.

And, unfortunately for me, there wasn't anything "common" about my job. It was kind of a niche operation and mine was kind of a niche position. What does this mean? This means that there are no competitors to go to....no comparable positions, companies or salaries to fill this hole.

So, here's me.....at square one.

It's amazing the perspective you gain about the important things in life when you're faced with a life changing situation. Just two days ago I blogged about what I'm thankful for and thank goodness my #1 was what it was....because I'm going to be okay.

I have no idea what I'll do or where I'll land but something just tells me that I'm going to be ok. So...they say these things happen in 3s...I had 2 of them this week, bring it on #3!

Oh, and if you know of anyone wanting to hire an incredibly bright, witty and all around fantastic gal, let me know! Hook 'em horns!

High from High School

2008-08-29T09:29:00.001-05:00

After I blogged yesterday about appreciating my age and the things I've learned, I went to the local high school during lunch. BF and I are going to the football game tonight and I needed to get tickets. Normally we buy them at the stadium but this is a fairly big game so I wanted to get them early. Now keep in mind that I went to high school with 172 other people in my class, probably a little over 600 in the entire school. This is BF's high school and he graduated with over 1500 in his class alone! Needless to say, it's quite a bit larger.

So, I call the school to find out where to buy tickets and where the office is located on the campus (over 7 buildings, each larger than my school). I arrive and quickly ask the first student I see to verify that I'm headed to the right set of doors. I enter and realize that I've arrived in the middle of the passing period as there are hundreds of students bumping into me and racing around me.

And these aren't the students that I went to high school with. I'm dressed for work and I'm underdressed compared to these kids. The girls have on heels and adorable straight-out-of-vogue outfits on, the boys have polos and popped collars, there are no backpacks in sight but they all have blackberrys and iphones!!! Is this 90210?? (starts Tuesday by the way Can.Not.Wait)

I finally find the student affairs office and wait for the student in front of me to finish. When it was my turn, I told the lady that I needed 2 football tickets.

"Student?" she said.
"Haha, oh I love that. No, 2 adults. Thanks"

At this time, the bell rings and students in the halls hurry off to class. I'm so relieved that I won't have to dodge them as I leave the school. As I'm putting the tickets away, another bell rings. I'd forgotten that there are two bells...the bell to tell you to get to class and then the tardy bell.

Anyway, I thank the nice lady, head out of the office (relieved that I'm the only one in the hall and I can now exhale) when I hear someone yelling at the students.

Things like "Miss, you need to get to class."

I can so remember being late to class and hoping I got there before the tardy bell.
And then I hear it again.

"Miss."
"Miss!"
"MISS!!!!"

At this point I turn around to see what idiot isn't moving fast enough. I realize that idiot is...ME!!

"Are you talking to me?" I ask.

"Um, YES. MISS, you are late, YOU NEED TO GET TO CLASS NOW" he sternly states.

[Insert laughter here]

Thats right kids, I was mistaken for a high school kid. After regaining my composure, I thank the gentleman for the compliment, explain that I'm not a student, just here on my lunch break, and quickly leave the school. A little lighter in my step, in fact, I think I might've skipped once or twice.

Motto of this story: If you're feeling sassy and put together, go visit your local high school, they'll show you up. If you're feeling overwhelmed, go visit your local high school during passing period, you might die. If you're feeling old, go visit your local high school, nothing like getting yelled at by a teacher to make you feel younger!

Po Po Patrol

2008-08-28T11:09:00.002-05:00

On my drive home yesterday I noticed 3 police officers standing at the end of my street. Thankfully I was going the speed limit and I was very pleased to see that they were running radar on people driving down the cross street. I quietly laughed to myself as I realized that I'm at the point in my life where I appreciate the police presence instead of hide from it.

Now I don't consider myself to be old by any means...BUT...I have noticed that I am older and with that age/time, has come the appreciation for different things.

So here, my friends, is a top 10 list for you.

Top 10 Things I appreciate NOW, that I didn't THEN

10. I appreciate the law and I respect it. In my younger years, I was always fearful of getting in trouble. I didn't really do much that warranted this fear other than speeding. Now I appreciate it when I see a police officer driving thru my neighborhood or several of them having a meal at a local restaurant. It gives me peace of mind.

9. I appreciate the look of a nicely manicured lawn. I secretly wish we had an HOA because I think I could win that award every once in awhile and because that guy a few streets down would NOT be able to have all of that crap in his yard.

8. I appreciate the news. Not because I used to work in TV, but because I actually enjoy knowing what is going on in the world (unless its a story about an animal being hurt, and in that case, i don't want to know)

7. I appreciate low gas prices. My parents used to always play a little game in the car where they'd teach me to point out low gas prices...I still don't know how they made that fun, but it was...and I play that game every day!

6. I appreciate coffee. I used to love waking up to the smell of it but I never liked the taste of it. I never drank coffee until I started working and experienced such a thing as an 8am sales meeting. Now I have coffee everymorning.

5. I appreciate photos. When I was younger, even in college, I always wanted to be IN the photos but I never took any. Because of this, I have very few photos of my college years as my mom wasn't there to take them and I didn't shell out the $5 for every party time sorority photo.

4. I appreciate the wisdom of others. Now, more than ever, I wish I could sit down with each of my grandparents and talk candidly with them about everything under the sun. Most of those questions start with, "How did you handle, how did you get thru, how did you know?"

3. I appreciate my education. I think the 4 years (okay 5) of college allowed me time and room to grow. I respect anyone who started working straight out of high school because there is no way I would've had the discipline to be a good employee. I learned so much about life and who I wanted to be. Most of what I learned from college wasn't in the classroom.

2. I appreciate good food and fine wine. I remember the days when we would eat anything if it was free and drink anything if it was alcohol (seriously, natty light? what were we thinking?) I don't always spring for the "good" wine but I definitely have a preference for what I like and I won't just drink anything I find. And now that I enjoy cooking so much, I appreciate it any time we go out to eat and I know that someone worked hard to put that food on my plate.

And the number one thing I appreciate NOW, that I didn't THEN
1. I appreciate a budget and a sound financial mind. So many of my friends do not make smart choices when it comes to their finances. I hate to see/hear that and I wish I could help but financial stability will only develop when you're ready to be disciplined. Current BF could write a book on financial responsibility and I'm lucky enough to be in a situation where he's able to rub off on me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not rich at all but if you ever need pointers on where to pinch and save, I've got a ton!

What if..

2008-08-27T12:07:00.000-05:00

This week I've read some pretty devastating stories. Stories that made me ache for those involved, stories that made me want to help.

One particular story was gut wrenching and involved someone else who was in a similar situation to me and experienced one of my biggest fears. And she was asking for help. Financially.

She had posted a link where anyone could donate to help her get thru this tough time, if they so desired. I immediately got out my credit card to help. But for some reason, I couldn't get myself to click on the "Donate" button.

I didn't donate and for that, I'm ashamed. But I couldn't help asking myself all of those "What if" questions. What if this is a scam? What if the donation website isn't legit? What if they take out more than I allocated? What if it sets me up for recurring withdrawl? What if I get my identity stolen?

All of these paranoid thoughts kept me from helping this person. And it got me thinking. I've volunteered for many charitable causes and tried to get donations. I've been at the mall, trying to stop those who are walking by with a flyer, on the phone trying to get someone to listen and not hang up and even at your door, trying to get you to buy girl scout cookies. I've often been the one asking people to donate to various causes I've supported...and I've judged those who wouldn't give me the time of day and for turning their backs. And here I am now, in their shoes, and I do the same.

When I worked downtown, I passed homeless people on the street on a daily basis. My friends and family always told me not to give them money by saying "they're faking it" or "they'll use it to buy drugs or alcohol." So instead, I would bring them anything leftover from lunch and I always kept a pack of bottled water in the car to give out. Because frankly, even if they are faking it, even if they are addicted, this is Texas. It's hot, they have a reason for being there and I am a good person.

I've always been the first one to throw stones at selfish people because I never considered myself as selfish, until today.

I've since emailed her for her mailing address so I could mail her a cash donation but I still don't feel good about how much I questioned her. When in reality, the "What If" question that I SHOULD have been asking myself is: What if it happened to me? What if I needed help?

My challenge to you is to not react the same what that I did. Maybe you're not comfortable giving your credit card info either but find a way to help. Because one day, you could be the one in need.

Me llamo Mary.

2008-08-25T11:34:00.005-05:00

I've taken 8 years of spanish. From middle school up thru high school. All of that studying and basically I can ask for directions or locations of certain places and I can understand other peoples conversations but not necessarily reply. Oh, and I can understand when people are cursing at me. I received this in an email today from my mom and just about died laughing. I hope you do too. (well..not die, of course, just laugh) Happy Monday!

Open letter To My Easy Drive To Work.

2008-08-20T15:25:00.002-05:00

Dear Easy Drive to Work,

I just wanted to say that I'll miss you desperately. We both knew this day was coming and as I'm now over halfway thru my last week with you, I've never appreciated you more. The constant rain this week has made me dread what my future drive to work will be and its anything but YOU....Easy.

I imagine that a week from today, I will be stuck in numorous School Zones and traffic jams, the usual issues one has when school is in session.

So please know, Easy Drive to Work, I've cherised the 2 1/2 months we've spent together. I look forward to your occasional visits during fall break, christmas break and spring break until we're back together next summer.

Until then, I'll be thinking of you every morning and afternoon.

All my love,
MC

You Are Good

2008-08-18T12:05:00.000-05:00

This is a shameless plug for an INCREDIBLE program called You Are Good. Check out how adorable these tees are...AND...they support an incredible cause.

From the website:
"You Are Good is an inspirational t-shirt company created to highlight the needs of abused children and the agencies that work tirelessly to make their lives better. This clothing is meant to empower each one of us."

Basically, here's what happens. You buy one of their adorable tees, tanks or thermals with your choice of wings on the back. A portion of every shirt sold goes to benefit children in the CASA program.

And the best part, you can also buy a tee to be delivered to a child in need.

Every tee comes with the following tag:

Please take a minute and check out their website at www.youaregoodtees.com and support this incredible cause. Buy one for yourself or for a friend....they make GREAT baby shower gifts!

I got tagged-ABCs of me

2008-08-15T12:20:00.000-05:00

So TexasLauren, my new friend thru blogs, tagged me last week and I just figured out what that meant. It seems I'm giving away alot about myself this week, haha. Yay fun!

So here goes...the ABCs of me:

Attached or Single - Attached, (dating 38 months this weekend, haha, drives him crazy when I point out stupid things like that)

Best Friend - Megster. We've been friends for over 25 years...crazy, huh? We'll die together, old, crazy, drunk, and without our teeth.

Cake or Pie - Tough one, I'd have to say Cake. Cookie Cake or the birthday cake my mom makes.

Day of Choice - Day off. I work for vacation days.

Essential item - wow, i dont think i have one. i guess my cell phone. not because it's anything cool...it doesnt surf the net, doesnt take pictures, but it allows me to talk to everyone i know while driving.

Favorite color - Green. that funky 70s green.

Gummy bears or worms - Bears. I like to lick the back and stick them on my forehead. yeah, i know.

Hometown - Lets just say Texas.

Indulgence - Wine. I don't care how many calories it has or how many glasses is too many, I work hard and I deserve it.

January or July - January. I love the cold weather.

Kids - Three 4-legged kids (2 dogs, 1 cat) No 2-legged kids yet although my uterus is knocking.

Life isn't complete - without faith, friends and family. (oh and reality tv)

Marriage date - Ugh, I get this on a weekly basis. I have no idea. I don't look that great in white so I'm not too anxious, hah.

Number of brothers/sisters - One brother, one sister, both older. Technically they're half siblings, one from each side, I'm the binding force of the family. Oh and I'm humble, can't you tell?

Oranges or apples - Oranges. My mom squeezes oranges on top of any fruit salad, its great.

Phobias - Myself. I'm afraid that one day everyone will figure out that I'm just full of it.

Quote - "Just because we deserve the best, doesn't mean we're entitled to it." -unknown

Reasons to Smile - I try to smile even when I don't have a reason to, I'm hoping it's infectous.

Season of Choice - Winter. Being from Texas, I love the cold weather because we never get enough of it.

Unknown Fact - I wasn't always this much of a planner and I have no idea how it happened.

Vegetable - green beans or brocolli!

Worst habits - worrying, planning, expecting too much.

Xray or Ultrasound - random question, I've only ever had Xrays or MRIs so I guess Xrays. bones are cool.

Your favorite food - pizza

Zodiac - Aries. No clue what that says about me. Probably that I'm competitive.

Now I'm tagging:

Megster

Lincee

Jennifer

Jodi

I love you and I hate you

2008-08-14T13:12:00.001-05:00

Michael Phelps eats 12,000 calories per day
By Chris Chase

After he retires from swimming, Michael Phelps might want to try his hand at competitive eating. The Olympic star recently said he consumes 12,000 calories per day, or 9,500 more than the FDA recommends for an active, young male.

Phelps has to keep his intake up in order to compensate for all the calories he burns during the 30-hours per week he spends in training. He told NBC that an average day might have the following menu:

Breakfast: 3 fried egg sandwiches, 2 cups coffee, 5-egg omlette, bowl of grits, 3 pieces of french toast, 3 chocolate chip pancakes

Lunch: 1 pound pasta, 2 ham and cheese sandwiches, energy drink (1,000 calorie)

Dinner: 1 pound pasta, 1 large pizza, energy drink (1,000 calorie)

Three years ago, Phelps told an interviewer:

"I eat pretty much whatever I want. I don't have a strict diet. It's all about cramming in as many calories into my system as I possibly can. To be honest with you, I have a tough time keeping weight on."

The making of Me.

2008-08-12T13:58:00.009-05:00

So I've ventured away from really writing about the yucky love stuff in order to appeal to a more diverse audience of readers. But who am I kidding, every female has stories to tell so I thought it was time to tell mine. You see, when I write about yucky love, I want it to be funny, entertaining, real and give hope to others. And initially, the only way I thought I could do that was to tell the ultimate love story (with me as the leading lady) and the fairy tale ending we all grew up learning about, thus giving hope that everyone can be as happy as me (ok...you can all stop laughing at me now.) But I don't have that story to tell you.

And then I realized, even though my story is far from perfect, it's truly real and I think it can be funny, entertaining, real and I maybe give hope that we all go thru these hardships and that it's ok. So here goes.

I have been in love 3 different times in my life: Steven, Ben, and Current BF (names have all been changed). (ok really i've been in love hundreds of times...chocolate, michael buble songs, snow skiing, etc... but this is just about being in love with the opposite $ex so go with it.)

Steven.
I was in high school and funny enough, I thought I had already been in love before him (I hadn't). I don't really know how we met, but he was a senior when I was a junior and I became the girl who wore his letter jacket. I was blissfully happy. It was the time of the innocent love...we were each others first everything and experiencing life together was everything I'd imagined. We didn't do the break up & get back together thing, we just stayed together....for 3 1/2 years! And to be honest, I can't even remember why we ended up breaking up in the end. What I do remember is that it seemed to fizzle and he broke up with me and instead of grieving over that loss, I made the most of my time and quickly found someone new.....Ben. (There's more to Steven's story...stay tuned)

Ben and I met in college about a minute after Steven broke up with me (well, maybe more like a week). We immediately hit it off and started to date. When Steven got word of this, he came back and wanted me again. I quickly turned my nose up to him with a "you snooze you lose" attitude and focused on Ben. Ben was younger than me and wanted to learn what I had to teach him, haha. We got serious quickly and I felt powerful being the older/wiser of the two. I broke up with him after 2 months for about 8 hours...(it was during summer finals, i was stressed and ridiculous and I don't remember why I did it). When I realized I was being dramatic, I went looking for him. When I found him he was in his yard kissing another girl and there was an empty wine bottle on the table. I ran from his house in tears, making it known that I was there so he would see me and come running after me realizing his mistake. Only, he didn't. I ran to the comfort of Stevens arms who was still there for me, but thankfully, I didn't confuse the situation more and Steven and I just stayed friends. The new semester was starting so I felt I had a fresh start.

As soon as school started, Ben came back....begging me. He sent me the most incredible arrangement of roses that I have ever seen to this day. They were salmon pink and so big I thought they were tulips. He romanced me in every way possible to get me back and I eventually gave in. He promised nothing happened with the slut I saw him kissing. (sorry, couldn't resist) After a month he came clean and admitted that he cheated...of course, it was followed by Ross Geller's famous line, "we were on a break" and the only break I validated was my heart breaking.

I stayed with him and I thought about him cheating every day for 6 months. Eventually it became every other day and after a good while, I could go a week without thinking about it. Our relationship healed and we were having a great time...planning a future together. Fast forward 2 years and 9/11 happened. Everything that was secure in my life suddenly seemed upside down. Ben decided to study abroad and I was devastated. We decided that we didn't want to be apart so he asked me to go with him and I did. I think 9/11 had that affect on so many people. Don't get me wrong, I loved him, but I was so terrified of losing him after that...I almost didn't want him to be out of my sight! But, going abroad was the best decision I could've made and I wouldn't have considered it had it not been for Ben. My time there was incredible. When we returned, he proposed in front of my entire family and I happily accepted. This was it! We started planning the wedding, picked out our kids names and lived happily ever after.

That's how I thought this story would end.

After we got engaged, I found a great job that I loved while starting my senior year (5th year, haha) and I began working alot. He was also working but after missing work for the 5th day from playing Halo and losing his license for too many speeding tickets, he got fired. He then starting hanging with friends and met a friend of a friend. Oh yeah, did I mention this friend was a girl? She was from my hometown, 4 years younger than me, played all the same sports, involved in all of the same things. She was ME, just 4 years younger, I call her Mini Me. I challenged this friendship and was told that he wanted to hang out with me during the day but I was too busy working. Gee, how selfish of me! He broke up with me in the middle of a college football game and we decided to take Thanksgiving break to think about if we wanted to be together. When I returned, I told him I wanted to be with him and he told me that she'd shopped with him during the break and she encouraged him to buy cargo pants and he liked that. Weird, right? (back story is we were both about to graduate and I was encouraging him to spend his $ on clothes for upcoming interviews instead of yet another pair of those pants where you'd unzip them below the knee and ABRACADABRA! they were shorts.) Anyhow, as I'm sure you can imagine, it was a very NASTY break up. He tried to call the cops on me for breaking and entering when I was moving out and tried to sue me to get the ring back. It was BAD.

When it was over, I called Steven. He'd since graduated and moved away and was there for me yet again. I realized that I'd never gotten over Steven and now I had 2 lost loves to mend from. I swore off dating until I knew what I wanted. Six months later, after graduation, I left my pain behind me and happily moved away, excited for the next chapter of my life. (Ben and Mini Me continued dating for a few years and eventually broke up, I don't know if he cheated or not...and I don't care).

After about a year of living in a new city, I thought I was ready to move on.

I was working a great job that paid me nothing but had great potential and was really fun. I dated here and there, mostly first dates, but dates none the less. I'd put Ben behind me and Steven and I were still friends. We'd considered giving it another go but we never acted on it. Then one day, I get a call from Steven's new girlfriend. She hates me and decides to involve me in one of their fights...it was a ridiculous few days...and then, after all of those years, Steven and my friendship was over. I had nothing to do with it, I hadn't even really talked to him in awhile, but she was insanely jealous of our friendship and hated me. And to be honest, what girl hasn't been jealous of her guy's ex....I thought she was a crazy psycho but kinda understood at the same time. She'd given him an ultimatum and he chose her. I was ok with that and wished them both well...I don't think she believed me but thats ok. They've since married and are really happy...or at least I've heard.

Moving on, I was working my new job after getting my promotion and I get a random voicemail one day. My boss had forwarded me a new business call and it's Ben's sister. She works in the same industry and just happened to need my company's services and I just happened to be the next one on the new business call in list. I went to my boss and asked to have someone else work the account and was quickly denied and told to grow up. I stared at the phone for 30 minutes before I finally called her back. I focused on the work and nothing but the work and then she asked, "how are you?"

Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!

This is the moment when you need to be happily married with baby on the way, ridiculously wealthy, world traveled, successful and have lost 20 pounds. I was none of those things. I didn't have a husband (I hadn't had a date in 6 months), I was living paycheck to paycheck, hadn't been on vacation since college when my parents paid for it, I was still trying to figure out what the heck I was supposed to do in my career and the weight....well, that's none of your business but lets say the weight listed on my drivers license was WAY off!

I'm proud to say that I was positive, honest, not embellishing too much, but emphasizing whatever highlights I could think of. I then asked how she was and she told me 2 seconds about herself and then had verbal diarrhea about Ben. Oh, And guess what? He's married. Oh, And guess what? They have a daughter. Oh, And guess what? He named her the name we'd picked to name our first daughter (first AND middle name, WTF?) Oh and these names were not just Kate Ann, etc. These were NOT run of the mill names and I PICKED THEM OUT!!!! Oh, And guess what? His sister emailed me pictures.

KILL. ME. NOW.

What did I do wrong here? I took the necessary time to get over this relationship! I learned the lessons! I cried the tears! I paid the price already!! Why is it that now, more than 3 years later...I'm still getting hit by this?

After I sufficiently emailed every person that has known me since that time and had all of the, "you are NOT going to believe this" conversations, I let it go (or so I thought). I'd wanted to name my daughter that name since I was in high school, but it's ok. I decided it would be good to email him to say congratulations. (Seriously, Megster, you should have medicated me to prevent this) I thought I was being a mature adult...I told him I was thankful that he realized before the wedding that I was not the right person for him, I applauded his honesty (laugh) and I was happy to see that he was doing so well (gag). I acknowledged that it was a bad breakup and I was sorry for the mutual hurt but I really wished him nothing but the best.

He never responded.

After a month of convincing myself that I was ok...I think I finally was.

Then, almost a year later, thru a series of coincidences, I met my current BF. I say "current" because I have no open registries with this man. That being said, I have every intention of not screwing this up and hopefully, one day, we'll get to point and shoot that gun at things that we don't need but want others to buy us. I won't go into the story with current BF because I don't really like to start too many stories where I don't know the ending. But I'm happy and healthy and hopeful for the future.

I believe that we learn something with every relationship we have...be it occupational, friendship, romantic, etc. With Steven, I learned how to be a girlfriend (and how not to be), how innocent love is and how romantic it can be. I learned how important family is and I learned that there was someone I was supposed to become, not just someone I thought I should be. And most importantly, I learned that I had so much left to learn. With Ben, I learned how to fight to the death and win, I learned whats really important to me and whats not. I learned that I never want to be with someone who doesn't believe in our lord, I learned that culture is a beautiful thing, and I learned to trust my instincts and listen to my mother. I learned about another side of the world and I learned what I didn't want for the rest of my life. And most importantly, I finally learned how to let go.

When I started dating my current BF, I took what I learned and put it into action. Here are a few of my favorites:

~Since I knew how to fight and win, I decided that it wasn't winning or losing that's important, it's about learning and growing together.
~Since I knew how to be romanced, I decided I wanted to learn how to be romantic in HIS eyes, not just what I thought was romantic.
~Since I learned how important family can be, I decided to open my arms to his family in hopes that one day they will do the same.
~Since I knew that having the same faith was so important to me, I learned to make a mental memory of how special it meant the first time he said that he prays for us.

And now, I've realized that the hardest thing I've ever had to learn, but the most important thing to put into action was to have faith. That even if MY ending isn't how I've always pictured it....it's going to be better than I expected. Even if I go thru hardships along the way, I'll learn from them and use those lessons as I continue on this thing we call life.

My hopes in sharing these memories with you is that someone out there might read this and identify with it. Hopefully use it to keep going, use it to realize that it's not the fairy tale that we ultimately want...it's the reality. We want someone to love us because of our flaws, not in spite of them. And for that, I'm not afraid to admit mine.

Maybe that's optimism, maybe that's faith...mainly, its just me.

Olympic Eating

2008-08-12T10:28:00.002-05:00

Ok so a coworker asked me yesterday, "If I have Mexican food for dinner during the Olympics, does that mean I'm not supporting the US?" Haha. this made me laugh and gave me a great idea.

I'm going to try to sample as many different varieties of food during the olympics..I think it's only appropriate given. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not planning to just eat for the next few weeks but when it's time for a meal, I'm going to mix it up a bit.

Today's variety....SUSHI!

"And also with you...."

2008-08-11T14:38:00.002-05:00

this is what you're supposed to say to someone who tells you to peace in church...haha. ok not really but a funny twist.

I'm posting to reassure everyone that I'm calm cool and collected after the accusations of the weekend.

I was shocked that someone could accuse me of having ill intentions when it couldn't be more opposite. Rest assured, I enjoy the glory and credit of compliments too much than to try to pass off anyones work as my own. I did not come up with the recipe on "how to make a cool tie" lord knows I have zero skills when it comes to sewing. That said, I also did not get the recipe from Crazy Claudia and if you'll see my prior post, I linked directly to my original source. (props to texaslauren77 for her play on words for Claudia to cool off...haha)

I sincerely apologize to anyone who might have assumed that I plagarized in any way and I'm flattered and humored that you might think it was an MC creation, hahaha. (as if)

But now I'm officially off of my soap-box and ready rejoin the rest of the world in Olympic celebration!

Friday we had an Opening Ceremonies and Olympics party. We were supposed to have 4 events (table tennis, horseshoes, darts and ladderball) but just stuck to table tennis and later....what house party wouldn't be complete without beer pong! The Megster was a too classy to drink beer so during her game, she chose wine pong. Megster learned the lesson that if you're going to play wine pong, you better have mad skills because losing 2 games in a row = Megster drunky girl!)

I felt like I was in a time warp as I hadn't hosted a party of this sort since college but it was a lot of fun (and a lot of advil the next morning). The victorious Gold Medal beer pong team champs were the new founder of B*tching Brides and her hubby. (Hubby also took home the all around Gold)

It was a great time and I had the Olympics on all weekend...I can't wait to watch the mens team gymnastic finals tonight!

Go Team USA!

A Message to my "alleged" supporters....

2008-08-10T00:15:00.003-05:00

i received an ungreatful comment from "Cynthia" today. Thought you would enjoy the comment and my response.....

Frankly, I expect better from anyone who desires to help our troops.

From Cynthia:

Cynthia has left a new comment on your post "How to make a Cool Tie":

Please don't copy material from our site without attribution or permission. This post is a copy of (some website that I did not get my recipe from) which is copyrighted and may not be used in this way.

Be fair. Write your own stuff, or if you copy, use a teaser and a link back instead of just grabbing other people's work

hey "Cynthia"....

First off, I've never been to that link you sent me and I didn't "copy" from you so bug off. And, SHAME ON YOU!!! I would tend to think that anyone who cares AT ALL about our troops would be more than willing (and greatful) to post, share, spread the word on any recipe on how to make something to keep our troops cool. Apparently, you are only concerned about recognition instead of our troops. This makes me sad for you and wonder how you sleep soundly at night.

Because, you see, my only goal in these posts is to get supplies to our troops. THAT IS IT. I want to do my part in helping our troops get what they need. I think that its the least that I can do.

Clearly, you are only concerned with recognition and it makes me that much more likely to NOT recognize you for the COMPLETELY SELFISH and asinine person that you are. But, I am so angry that I don't have the ability to be the bigger person right now.

Personally, all I have to say in response to your absurd post is.....SHAME ON YOU....I EXPECT BETTER FROM MY READERS. If you don't like what I have to say, or post, you are free to not return.

FYI-I didn't get my recipe from your website and it makes me sad for you that you would try to claim info posted on this oh-so-private thing we call "the internet"

THANKS!~ MC

PS- for your info, i got my recipe from here...not "your" site and you should notice, they've also stated:

Intellectual Property Rights for Cool Ties

Several individuals have claimed to have invented cool ties, and some have claimed various intellectual property rights including patents. A search of the United States Patent and Trademark Office www.uspto.gov indicates there are NO currently valid trademarks for “Cool Tie” or “Cool Ties”. Any claims otherwise are FALSE. A patent was issued for a cool tie in the late 1990’s, however this patent was issued almost ten years after Dan Wofford, Jr. and the US Cooperative Extension Agency published patterns and instructions regarding how to make cool ties and evaporative body coolers. Therefore, this patent will NOT stand up in court and was a waste of time, effort and money by the patent holder.

Blog Pimp!

2008-08-08T15:43:00.004-05:00

Ok, so there's this fantastic new blog from a fantastic person I know and I think it's hilarious!

Are you married or planning a wedding? Have some frustrations you'd like to vent about or some funny/not so funny stories to tell? Visit BitchingBrides blog and share your stories!

And while I'm at it, pimp YOUR blog on my comment list!

Opening Ceremonies - Get Excited!!

2008-08-07T10:31:00.005-05:00

I am such a fan of the Olympics! I remember watching the Olympics with my parents as a kiddo (of course, I was a sport snob and only watched diving and gymnastics) and I loved the opening and closing ceremonies.

Well 8.8.08 is upon us and I'm super excited. Random Trivia: Did you know that 8 is an extremely lucky # in China?

To copy the idea of my friend Lincee, here are some videos to get you in the mood. (these are different videos than hers...check them all out and get excited!)

Amazing Awaits....

U-S-A U-S-A U-S-A

My-Space

2008-08-06T10:50:00.002-05:00

So I'm addicted to myspace, facebook, linkedin, etc. It goes hand and hand with my addiction to reality tv. I like to watch the world, as it is, with all of its flaws and beauty, good and bad.

With as much as I like the truth in everything and everyone else, when it comes to MY space, I'm not so truthful.

I laughed with my friend Keith a year or so ago when they were coming over to our place and I said, "ok well I need about a half hour to make my apartment look like you think it looks all of the time." This means, tidy up, clean up, throw things in the oven, dishwasher, dryer or closet that I don't have time to put in its proper place, light a candle, lint roll the furniture make sure the guest bath has t.p. and sit on the sofa and open that book (I've been meaning to start) in the middle so it looks like this is my daily life.

Maybe its because I was raised by a family who liked to entertain, a mother who always made me pick up before the cleaning lady came, and two grandmothers whos homes were always perfect, smelled like cookies, fresh flowers, detergent, crystal light and pecans. (It's an odd but perfect aroma.) One grandmother always had the guest bathroom toilet paper folded into a triangle and one always had either gardening gloves, a sun hat or an apron on.

Regardless, it's very important to me that when I have guests in my home, they are not greeted by the day to day chaos in which we live. They are instead greeted with a tidy, organized home, well dressed and groomed hosts, well behaved and trained pets, and loads of natural light.

Um...anyone who knows me is laughing right about now.

Because the reality is, my side of the room is always cleaner than my bfs, the floors will never be that clean, my dog will probably jump up on you, you'll know the smell is only from the bath and body works plug in, there are always nose and paw prints on the windows, clutter on the coffee table and crap on the dryer. Pretty much the only thing that meets my standards is the guest bathroom.

I tease my bf by telling him the reason I always like to have people over is because thats the only time that the house is clean!

I wish I could chill out and relax and let you see me the way I truly am. Because, afterall, I'm inviting you into MY space, MY home...not a catalog. Maybe one day I'll live up to my own expectations, or maybe I'll let you see the real me. Either would be an accomplishment

Rant- Pee Test

2008-08-05T11:36:00.000-05:00

I received this in an email today from a friend and I thought it was thought provoking:

THE JOB - URINE TEST

I HAVE TO PASS A URINE TEST FOR MY JOB... SO I AGREE 100%. Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck,I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their tush while I work. . . . Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

Does what goes around really come back around?

2008-08-04T10:00:00.001-05:00

I'm starting to wonder if that's true, I've always been hopeful that it was. I feel like it keeps me on my A game and holds me accountable because, boy, if something I did is coming back around for me....I have a feeling its going to be bad! As often as I've failed at being a truly good person, I have the true desire to be "good." And I don't think that everyone out there shares that desire....but I hope I'm wrong about that.

I think about the people who have done me wrong and from what I know about them at this point, I don't know that anything has "come back around" to bite them in the tush for what they did. And how awful to admit that it actually makes me sad. Do I honestly want to know that they have been punished in some way for their actions?

Sadly...yes. Yes I Do!

So I find myself in a really selfish situation (otherwise known as "why me?") in that, I tend to get bitten in the you-know-what everytime I misbehave....and usually the punishment is worse than the crime. And though I am far from perfect, I find myself often casting the first stone when it comes to wanting those who did me wrong to be punished!

This is something I hope that I won't always have to struggle with. I hope at somepoint I can just get over myself and realize that anyone else's suffering won't make mine better or even justified.

Until then..the only thing that keeps coming back around in my life is this heat....what AM I being punished for?? At least we're all in this together...now someone go buy a bag of ice and we'll all sit around it like a campfire, k?

Cooler than Triple Digits

2008-08-01T13:53:00.002-05:00

Do you know what's not cool right now? The heat!

If you're from Texas, the phrase "triple digits" is not a pleasant one. Our local news has informed us that we will be in triple digit status for the next five days but NOT TO WORRY...we'll cool off with some rain next week and it will get DOWN to 98-99ish. Are you kidding me? Have our news anchors been trained in BS-ing?

I've gotten used to hearing the teasers that make you think that the world will actually end. Something like, "Could you be dying right now because of what you just ate for dinner? Find out tonight at 10!" WTF!? Am I dying? Should I go ahead and go to the hospital and watch the news from there just in case?

And I love how they'll be talking about a group of 8 year olds who just won the little league national tee ball championship and in the same breath, with the same inflection they say, "three men were brutally murdered tonight but a homeless man."
It makes you do a double take at the TV thinking, was she actually smiling when she said that?

And now, when they should be starting the news with "Here is a what you do if you actually begin melting." or "We're all going to die!!!" or "If you haven't noticed, we here at ABC have actually begun a nude reporting policy because we're so f-ing hot that we don't want to wear any clothes. Hey Dale, nice socks!"

Regardless, triple digits are miserable. I feel like I've turned into a vampire because I only venture outside after dark.

Here's hoping your weekend is cool!

A Decade Ago

2008-07-28T22:32:00.000-05:00

Its a hard realization for me to swallow that my life can now be measured in decades...almost 3 to be exact. This weekend I celebrated a significant milestone in my life...my 10 year high school reunion.

It got me thinking about where I was ten years ago. I had just graduated and I was preparing to attend college at Texas Tech. My boyfriend had moved home for the summer and I was relieved that we'd survived his first year at college away. I was excited about going thru sorority rush and living on my own, seeing how I'd cut it with no one to look over me. And all I could think about was that I was about to begin the rest of my life.

Although the things that seemed the most important to me then are not at all important now... but ten years later, I feel the exact same way about what is yet to come...I feel like the rest of my life hasn't started yet, how cool is that! I have accomplished so much in ten years, I have two college degrees, I've lived in another country, I've accomplished all of my career goals up to this point, I have a great group of friends, my family has grown, I have three 4-legged children and one loving boyfriend, I've purchased cars, paid rent, overdrawn credit cards & bank accounts, lost friends and loves, come full circle with my faith and my fears and in the end, I still feel that I have so much ahead of me.

That being said, I had mixed emotions about attending this reunion. When someone asks me, "what have you been up to since high school and how are you?" would I have a good enough answer? I didn't want to pull a Romy and Michelle and say I'd invented the post-it but I did want to be impressive and show that I hadn't wasted the past ten years. I was reminded of how I felt my first year out of high school when faced with the option to go home for "Homecoming." To be honest, I don't remember if I actually went home for that or not.

I was part of our senior class council so I was involved with the planning process for this reunion. My job was to be "that girl" and send emails, make phone calls, place ads and send homing pigeons to try to find everyone who was ever part of our class.

Even though I was involved with all of the planning, part of me just wanted to act "too cool" to go.

Regardless, I went to my 10 year high school reunion this past weekend and all I can say is, if you're wondering whether or not you should go to yours...let me just tell you....absolutely, without a doubt you should definitely go.

Maybe it's because I graduated with a small class of 173 or maybe it's because I graduated from a fairly small town, but either way, I went to school with a group of incredible people. The sad thing is, I just now realized that.

This past weekend, I hung out with some people I hadn't seen since high school and wasn't even that close with in high school. I caught up on the lives and families of old friends and I even made some new friendships.

For those who weren't ready to go home, a good majority went out to a local bar and then even went out to after parties. At one point, I was with old and new friends, in the parking lot near the police station, waiting for another friend to go pick up someone who almost got arrested and then we'd all caravan to the after party. Funny how many times I've done that exact same thing at 18. We even held our breath when the cop circled the parking lot..like somehow we thought we were doing something wrong and then we remembered, we were all over the age of 21.

My friend, Melissa, said that her mother told her that reunions have a better turn out for the 20year than the 10year. Although we had over 100 people in attendance, there were several people who didn't show...including those who still live in my hometown. I'd sent out an email in the weeks prior to the reunion asking for one or two things that have happened to everyone since our graduation. I was so surprised to get responses from people who seemed embarrased or ashamed of where they were in life.

But this reunion could't have been farther from the high school experience. There weren't "clicks" within the reunion, no one was "cooler" than someone else....we all just had a fun time and got along as one great group. It didn't matter how many times you'd been married or divorced, how many kids you had, how many pounds you gained or jobs you've had, where you lived or what you did, what you wore or what you drove...we all just enjoyed being with eachother again.

It made me realize whats really important. Saturday, we were all able to enjoy eachothers company and truly reconnect with old and new friends. I can only hope that every reunion is this successfull.

With all of this wholesome talk, let me also say....there was dancing, eating, too much drinking, laughing, vomiting and wreckless dancing, sweating, cursing, hugging, and my favorite...a photo in front of the police headquarters.

To anyone from my graduating class that attended, it was so good to catch up with you!! I can say this because I actually caught up with every person there...and for those who didn't attend...I sincerely hope you will be there for the 20th!

it's coming

2008-07-28T15:26:00.001-05:00

i promise...

first i was busy, then i was hot, then i was running late, then i was having too much fun, then i was intoxicated, then i was hungover a little, then i was driving, then i was sleeping and now i'm working.

but the blog....i promise it's coming.

Have you found me yet?

2008-07-22T15:26:00.003-05:00

it's a great word. It's one of my favorite shows (although I did lose interest during the black cloud monster phase) and it's often a word I hear people "my age" use to describe themselves.

There are places I go to "get lost" (shopping mall, barnes & noble, movie theater)and songs/movies/books that I can lose myself in (the notebook, hello!). There are also places I go to find myself (church, the lake, my parents house).

It's so interesting to me how common and unique these two words can be and how they are often paired together....Lost And Found.

Because really, the contents in the "Lost and Found" box don't include both "lost items" and "found items" so why doesn't the box just have the name Found?? Think about it...if there are items that you've lost...you wouldn't have them to put in a box...because they are LOST!

I equate it with the "glass half full" theory and chalk it up to perception.

I know this is getting deep and all but when you think about it, equating your teenage years, twenties or any other significant reflection time as when you are "lost" it can also be described as the time where you "find yourself." It's all about your perception!

So from here on out, I am no longer lost....I am found. And now that I found myself, I just have to figure out what to do with myself.

I need Christmas

2008-07-19T00:19:00.005-05:00

Christmas in July is a common thing at retail centers. I think it's to increase the stress for all of us and remind us that Christmas is 20 something paychecks away.

For me, Christmas has never been a huge cause of stress like it is for others. I think its because there are only a few things in life that I love more than spending time with my family. I love cooking and decorating with my mom, begrudgingly wrapping white lights on the porch with my dad, finishing the last minute wrapping and preparing santa gifts for my mom. I love seeing those family members that you usually only see on holidays, wearing sweaters even though its really not cold enough for them, sitting on the porch before everyone wakes up and drinking coffee with mom and making memaws fudge.

There are so many things I cherish about the holidays, but nothing compares to the closeness that I feel to my Lord.

I don't know if its because the air is crisper/cleaner and I feel like its a more direct line of communication when I pray, or just because I get sentimental around the holiday. Regardless, its the one time of year that I can truly "give it up to God".

And right now, with Christmas half a year away, I would give anything to have the feeling I have at that time of year. I need a Christmas in July. I need the comfort of my loving parents and close friends, I need the smell of Big Mama's "Texas Trash" that my Mom makes and I need to hear the gorgeous fire crackling that my dad creates in the fireplace. I need to hang those ornaments full of memories and think back on when times were simple and care free.

Most of all, I need that feeling that no matter what happens next, everything is going to be okay. And right now, with all the summer heat and all the thoughts in my head, that message isn't exactly coming thru loud or clear.

Tomorrow is a day of new beginnings so I need some sleep. When I say my prayers tonight, it will be for each of us to get a little bit of Christmas when we need it.

To Re-Gift is to Receive

2008-07-18T16:53:00.002-05:00

I've always been a fan of giving in every sense of the word. I've been described as a giving person and I love that....mostly I'm giving my time, my heart, my ear or my shoulder...but occasionally I get to give material things. I love all of these types of "giving"....the non-material (i'm sure there's an actual word for that but I don't know it) and the material.

The Non because I hate being alone unless I've had a terrible day and giving of myself always involves being around other people. The Material because I love to see people smile....I think long and hard about the gifts that I wrap up with a bow, convinced by the time the wrapping is complete that it is the most perfect gift for the recipient and I give myself an A+. (and i usually do a darn cute wrapping job.)

And of these material gifts, my all-time favorite is the Re-Gift.

Now most people frown upon re-gifting or hand-me-downs but that feeling is WRONG people! If you can give someone something that they absolutely love and you absolutely could do without, it is a WIN-WIN situation!!

Last night I had some girlfrieds over for pokeno. (It's a bunco group and we switched games because this one didn't require mathematical skills while drinking wine) We immediately judged everyones wrapping jobs by which gift bag was the cutest (mine...SNAP!), which was not (deemed "ugly bag"), which was the biggest (super cute purse) and which was the most creative (foil wrapped freebirds g.c.). It was so much fun to re-gift the wrapping and to know that with these girls, you can bring a re-gifted gift and no one cares. We are all so different that SOMEONE is going to think your trash is a treasure. It's like buying without paying...and without going to jail for it!

So Ladies, I must suggest that you do a pokeno night or some sort of gift exchange on a regular basis.

I attempted to host a "sip n swap" at the changing of the season where everyone brings clothes that are somewhat new but either cant wear or won't be worn for whatever reason and we all trade...while drinking wine, of coures. (Are you noticing a pattern? Yeah, me too, thank goodness I'm off the meds and can reclaim my title of wine-o).

Until next time, Cheers!

I got boxes!!

2008-07-18T10:58:00.001-05:00

I finally received my "military packs" which are boxes that the USPS provides at no cost for anyone sending packages to troops, can we say hell yeah!?! Rock on USPS!

So this weekend will be my first shipment, I'm oh-so-excited! I'm hoping I'll get a little more participation from some of you kiddos so please email me if you'd like to help. And for anyone who travels, send me your hotel shampoos/soaps/etc!!!

I'll keep ya posted on the progress! Have a great weekend!

CLH

2008-07-17T09:43:00.002-05:00

I went to Camp Longhorn for over ten years. If you're a parent, I highly recommend that you send your children there...it will provide the most incredible memories, friends, lessons and adventures that are priceless. I sometimes wish I had more than 2 weeks vacation each year because I'd love to go back as a counselor a few more times.

Anyway, I had one of those little Blue Bell ice cream cups today that come with the little wooden flat spoon-ish tool. I was trying to remember the last time I had one of those and I'm pretty sure it was at camp.

I was immediately taken back to those summers and I laughed when I think of how my camp friends and I would completely cover the top of the cup with peanut butter (sometimes crunchy-sometimes creamy) and then some would add honey (not me). So I decided to see if I still liked it and oh good lord, it was SO good!! Definitely try it! If I can find an Oreo cookie in the next few weeks, I'll cover it with peanut butter too...how did we come up with these combinations?

So take a moment and reward yourself with some summer treats!

Here is a slideshow from my last trip to CLH for Tex's memorial service. Enjoy!

no officer, i didnt know it was red

2008-07-16T10:55:00.002-05:00

Ever drive somewhere and not remember how you got there?

I drove to work this morning and I have no clue if the lights I drove thru were red or green.

SCARY!

Security and being secure

2008-07-14T19:19:00.002-05:00

We had a security system installed last week and now I'm more scared about "things" than I was before.

I guess ignorance truly is bliss because now that we have taken these measures to secure the house, I feel less secure overall.

Plus, I'm SO scared that I'm going to set the thing off! Aaah!

Open Letter to my Pillow

2008-07-11T10:05:00.001-05:00

Dear Beloved Pillow,

Oh how I miss thee....we never spend time together anymore. And when we do...it's not the quality time like when we first met. Why is it that relationships always change and the bond you once had seems to fade? In my desperation to be close to you, I actually thought about substituting an office chair, desk, steering wheel or bathroom counter for you but that just left me feeling empty inside and missing you more. So don't worry, I'm not seeing anyone else and I love you.

I hope that one day, we'll reconnect and bond like we used to. I love how we used to just spend hours together and I long for the days when we traveled together. When I was sick you'd make me feel better, when i was sad you'd comfort me, and when I'd had too much to drink you were there to catch me when I would fall. Nothing brings me comfort like you do.

I hope that one day, we'll reconnect and bond like we used to. They say it only gets worse as we age but I'm hoping we can prove them wrong.

Your long lost friend,

MC

why do we like the pain?

2008-07-10T21:05:00.004-05:00

Masochism refers to sexual or non-sexual gratification in the infliction of pain or humiliation upon oneself.

I've noticed that whether or not we know it, many of us like inflicting pain upon ourselves. In one of my favorite shows, Grey's Anatomy, Meredith says “Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.”

The most recent case of Masochism I've witnessed is, of course, in regards to relationships. It's the girl who keeps going back for more.

Why?

I think it's the fear.

1)The fear that she made a mistake
2)The fear that he was "the one" (no matter how absolutely crappy he was)
3)The fear that she'll never be happy again.

#3 is the kicker. As women, we're raised to believe that we're looking for that Prince Charming, that Mr. Right. When we get in a relationship, we realize that prince actually has to pick us too. And when that relationship ends, we forget that we can look for him...we're focused on only finding the one who will pick us but we see that as a slim to none chance as our confidence is completely shot.

Even when friends tell you not to do it, and you would tell them the same thing if the situation were reversed, you do it anyway. Because the pain feels so good.

I don't know how to get thru to her and tell her being with no one is better than being with a jerk. I think it's a realization she'll have to come to on her own. Until then, I'll pray for her strength and hope he stubbs his toe on every wooden and metal object he passes.

Selfishnessicity

2008-07-10T10:11:00.003-05:00

I'm really struggling lately with people who are selfish. Everyone is selfish at some point in their life but I've been faced with some extreme cases. Some people who are so wrapped up and focused on themselves and have absolutely no desire to do anything for anyone else or even be there for anyone else. I think the word selfish isn't strong enough to describe those people and I just don't understand them sometimes. Usually I'd be able to write them off and not let it bother me but when someone's actions intentionally hurt someone else, thats unnecessary, and frankly it pisses me off.

It's really hard for me to believe that there are people out there who have no desire to do anything for anyone else. I just don't get that. Don't they know that the feeling you get when giving someone a gift (material or not) isn't something that only happens in December? Patience, or lack thereof, is one of my big flaws so the fact that this has been an ongoing struggle is trying my patience.

I've had people tell me that my expectations are too high in life. How depressing is that? Are they really? If so, how did I get here? I know that I watched Faerie Tale Theater a LOT as a child (and yes, it is spelled Faerie) and I know that I'm a sap for wholesome movies but generally, I don't expect anything from anyone that I don't do myself.

So I'm faced with this inner turmoil. How can I be a giving person without being disappointed in others that don't? And don't get me wrong here, people, I'm nowhere close to being this good, wholesome, person that I'd like to be. But I do genuinely care about others and I love the feeling I get and the impact I make when I give to others. Maybe thats me being selfish....because I do it for the way it makes me feel?? That being said, as much as I'd like to go above and beyond in everything I do, generally I don't because I'm often lazy. So how can it be, then, that my expectations are too high?

I truly hope that is not the case because if my expectations are too high then that would make my hopes and dreams completely out of reach. So my challenge for you today is to do something nice for someone else. It can be as simple as holding the door for someone or as complicated as taking food to the homeless. And next time you feel the need to be selfish, fight it with a smile!

Hey MC? Its your uterus....we need to talk

2008-07-09T14:35:00.002-05:00

I'm an independent gal and very happy in my life. I'm used to the fact that my timeline for the future doesn't measure up to everyone else's and others expect me to catch up soon. I get that.
Generally, I'm fine with how things are working out.

And then a friend of mine goes and gets pregnant.

Why is it that shopping for infant clothes and any baby things can make your uterus wake up and start aching? Oh my goodness, I swear my "clock" starting going off like a police siren.

All I can say is I've never been so excited to give an expectant mother a gift....I need to get this thing out of my house so that my body will go back to normal!

Great News and an Update on Call to Action for our troops

2008-07-08T12:14:00.001-05:00

For those who are new to this site and want to help, you can see my original post about sending packages to troops by clicking here or email me

Many thanks to my friend, Lincee, for pimping out my efforts on her blog. And thanks to my friend Allison for finally providing me a way to get the soldier information I've been looking for!
I appreciate all of the well wishes, tid bits of information, and applause I've gotten so far.

What I need now is your help!

This weekend, my beautiful Mom ransacked thru her house to help me in this giving mission. It was so easy to find stuff to send to troops. If everyone took 2-3 minutes in each room of your home, I guarantee you'll find something new or gently used to donate.

Here are things we found: (see the full Call to Action for a complete list)
paperback books, local newspapers, magazines, travel size toiletries from hotels, crystal light on the go packs, batteries, gum, stationery, blank cards, water guns, stuffed animals (for troops to give to children there).

I forgot to mention before that I'm in the Dallas area. Even if you're across the country, please email me if you'd like to help, I can get you the supplies you need to ship your stuff and a soldier to send them to...you can help me remotely!!!

Wanna save a little $?

2008-07-08T10:19:00.000-05:00

So my company is making all kinds of efforts to help us save money with the rising cost of fuel, etc. Well, I found out a way to save a lot of money this weekend!

It's been a 6 week battle with this sinus infection from hades. Seriously, 6 weeks people!! And none of you have sent me a good well card...or chocolate. Four of these long weeks I've been on antibiotics (see my roid rage post yeah...i was a bit angry)

During this time, any type of alcohol has been forbidden...FORBIDDEN!! If you know me, you know that this is a major problem. I studied abroad in Italy and wine...well, it's like my better half!

This past weekend we took a trip to lovely Fredericksburg..famous for their peaches and Admiral Nimitz. I broke my promise to my dr, my pharmacist, and everyone else who is more responsible than I am and I ordered a fresh peach margarita with dinner. Let me just tell you it was something close to heaven.

I don't know if it was the fact that I haven't had one in over a month or the medication that I was on, but MAN...talk about hammered. Because I'm an incredibly gifted actress (i was even a thespian in high school...and no, thats not what it means) no one knew that I was, indeed, Tipsy Tina.

So Augmentin and Alcohol....a very dangerous combination but, hey...I saved $7 because I only had one!

*let it be said that I'm in no way encouraging you to mix perscriptions and alcohol. let this statement serve as a "read at your own risk" warning and I will not be held responsible for my words...or something like that*

Call to Action: Do more than just watch the fireworks

2008-07-04T12:16:00.000-05:00

Ok...this is a challenge to all of you...ready??

Whenever there is a holiday, I always like to take some time to think about what that holiday is really about, not just how we celebrate it. To me, 4th of July is truly a celebration of my freedom...something I often take for granted. In celebration of this holiday, I too will watch fireworks, eat bbq, drink margaritas and wear something red, white or blue. But this year, I want to take it a step further...I want to give back to those who provide me with my freedom.

So starting today, I want to send care packages to our deployed troops. I'm gathering information on the specifics of what can/can't be sent and how exactly I'm to get these items to them.

What I know...for food, they request as much individually wrapped items as possible or durable things...(i.e. pringles cans instead of bags of chips), and non perishable items as it may take 2-4 weeks to get there and go thru several locations, temperatures and handling methods.

Here is a list of items wanted:
DVDs, CDs, Batteries (all sizes)
Computer Flash Drives
Headsets (earpiece and microphone)
Beanie Babies (what??), Small Novelty Items
Disposable Cameras
Prepaid Phone Cards
Travel-Size Board Games, Handheld electronic games
Bandana Coolers/Cool-Ties*, Mini-Battery-operated Fans
Hand and Foot Warmers
Commercially wrapped individual packets of Trail Mix, Beef Jerky, Nuts, Energy Bars, Sunflower Seeds, Candy (Halloween Candy is great!!)
Ready To Eat Tuna or Chicken Salad kits
Boxes of Girl Scout Cookies; Small tins of Danish Cookies
Packets of Powdered Cold Beverages (the type that you just add water to and individually wrapped is preferred...i.e. crystal light singles, etc)
Commercially sealed Lip Balm, roll-on deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrushes
Individual packets of moist towelettes
Travel Size containers of Foot Powder
Screen Printed T-Shirts, Socks
Baseball Style Caps, Knit Hats and Gloves; Neck Gators*
Holiday Greeting Cards (blank)
Tobacco Products
Unsealed personal cards and letters
Used Cell Phones, Video Games and Systems, IPODs, PDAs, Ink-jet Cartridges

For a more personal touch,
~Send a personal note or have your children write a letter, draw a picture, etc.
~ Send silly toys – water guns, handheld travel games, a book of jokes, magic tricks, etc. Anything to let him take a break. If you send water guns or something similar, be sure to send multiples, it’s no fun to play alone.
~Instead of packing supplies, I'm going to use recent newspapers, send me your old ones so I have a variety!
~Send magazines or a book

*I know these are a lot of items and some can be expensive..so see my other post on how to Make your own Cool Ties Or...if you make the fabric and I'll do the rest!

Thank you in advance to anyone and everyone for your help!! If you need to send items or want to send money towards the purchase of items, please email me theflipsideofthepillow at gmail dot com

How to make a Cool Tie

2008-07-04T12:15:00.002-05:00

update: i had a "crazy" read this post....check it out here

This is for your own summer survival or if you'd like to join me in my Call To Action and help me send care packages to our troops.

How To Make A Cool Tie

Materials and Supplies:
1/4 yard 45-inch wide lightweight 100% cotton fabric Please use tan, brown, desert camouflage or other neutral colored cotton or material.
2 teaspoons Watersorb-brand polymer granules (to order Watersorb-brand polymer granules visit Watersorb.com's Cool Ties page)
thread
sewing machine
pins
scissors or rotary cutter
bamboo or plastic point turner

Instructions:
1. Cut cut a 7"-by-45" rectangle from fabric. For simplest cutting, fold fabric crosswise and use a rotary cutter. (Note: you can make five cool ties from one yard of 45" fabric.)

2. Fold fabric strip in half lengthwise, right sides together. To form pointed end, cut a 45-degree triangle from each folded end. Cut back from the fold toward the edges.

3. Locate the lengthwise center of the folded strip. Place 2 pins 1 1/2 inches on each side of the center of the strip. The pins mark the area to be left open to reverse the tie. Sew from point to center on each side, with a 5/8th inch seam allowance. Leave the area between the pins open.

4. Using scissors, carefully notch seam allowance next to the tie point.

5. Measure 10 inches up from each pointed end, mark location with a pin. On each side, sew directly across the tie from end to end, backstitching at the beginning and end of the stitching line. This stitching creates a pocket for the garden polymer granules.

6. Insert 2 teaspoons Watersorb-brand polymer granules into center of the tie through the opening in the seam.

7. Stitching close to the folded edges, sew the opening closed.

there is no title for this

2008-07-03T11:33:00.002-05:00

For those of you who don't know, the lead story in last nights news hits at home. It's the case of the man who was convicted of murdering a family member of mine. I was 3 1/2 when my second cousin was murdered, along with four other men, in Sherman, TX.

I'm amazed at how many people have been sharing their opinions on this case. Granted, most of the opinions are formed without knowing all of the information and the media has only shown one side of this story. that being said, i applaud everyone for taking interest, it shows that people do care.

So what i ask is this, please say a prayer for these families...the families of the four men murdered, of the one convicted of the crime and of the ones suspected that could be involved. The families of these men did nothing to deserve this and have suffered for too long. There is at least one guilty party here..and in my opinion it is the government...this case shouldn't have gone on this long...if they were going to hear this evidence, they should have done it decades ago. this is heart wrenching for all of us. For more info, click here

Open letter to the owner of the wierd hair I found this morning

2008-06-30T13:35:00.005-05:00

While drafting this letter in my head, I played out both sides of the problem because I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you had nothing but good intentions in leaving one of your hairs behind on the toilet seat for me to find today. **notice i said hairs behind, not behind hairs as I try not to make these assumptions**

Pro:
1) The presence of the left behind hair reminds us all, "hey, this seat is nasty-dirty and only cleaned once daily (and who knows if they actually clean the toilet seat, i think they just lift it up and clean the bowl) and given that there are only 3 toilets in the ladies restrooms and 30+ women who use them (as well as the ladies from the next building who come over to OUR building...im guessing because they have some stank business to take care of) and given that the average woman probably uses the ladies room 3x/day thats an average of 30x/day that someone sits on this here throne. yeah...do yourself a favor and utilize the ridiculously thin seat liner...or better yet, go to the next hair-free stall."

Con:
1) The presence of the left behind hair reminds us all just how nasty some "ladies" can be and makes us crazy by trying to catch the "Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your hair" culprit therefore verifying the size and style of shoe seen in the next stall and lingering just a bit longer while washing the hands so that you can then run back to said stall and check the seat for reminents.

I've come to the conclusion that while I appreciate any attempt that your Rapunzel donation made at the "pro" argument listed above, I've decided that your lost and found object is, indeed a con as it's making me mad crazy and induced a new super sleuth challenge for which I simply don't have time to investigate.

So, in the future, although I'm sure you had the best intentions when envoking your Rapunzel habits...I must insist that you follow appropriate airline regulations and "Please check under your seat and in the overhead cabin to insure you have all of your belongs as you depart the aircraft. We thank you so much for flying with us today. We know you have a choice when you fly and no one loves you, or your money, like us!"

Sincerely,
MC

The Grass Is Always Greener

2008-06-29T19:08:00.005-05:00

Surprisingly, I watched part of 'Cheaper By The Dozen 2' today. I'm not normally a fan of the cheesy disney movies but this one has a great message.

To summarize...the family spends the summer back at the lakehouse resurrecting an old family tradition. However, this year, they learn that a former nemesis has now built the biggest, baddest, best place on the lake. They have all the games, toys and luxuries that everyone wants and suddenly the family kids only want to be at the house across the lake.

This has such a similarity to real life. It seems that everyone we know constantly has the newest, best thing. From homes, electronics, cars, wardrobes, jobs, pets, etc. Most of the time we hang out with friends it's to see the new something at someone's house. Which is so funny to me because in all reality, you don't need a reason to hang out with someone or need something to do...if you're truly friends.

It's hard not to get wrapped up in the race to be the best and often I wonder what we have to offer our friends for entertainment. What reason do our friends have to come over to this house? After all, we don't have a big screen, a pool, the latest video game, a pool table, etc.

But forget all that cause I have access to a lake house! And THIS was finally the year that I'd be able to have a big bash at the lake for the 4th of july. Because THIS year, the 4th is on a Friday and everyone promised last year when they made other plans that they'd "definitely be there NEXT year."

I'd already booked hotel rooms (because it's going to be that big), planned ahead for batches and batches of our newly famous margaritas, smores by the bonfire pit, sunscreen, bbq, fireworks, the list goes on and on (I'd even envisioned the ping pong tournament brackets.) I was beyond excited. I wondered if we had everything we'd need to be "that house across the lake" where EVERYONE wanted to be. And if we didn't, thats why they invented Walmart.

No matter how perfect it was going to be, reality is a bit more perfect. It seems that not one of the promises made last year will actually deliver.

So, I've cancelled the hotel reservations and put the money back in my account that I'd withdrawn for the fun weekend.

It seems that it didn't matter how green the grass was on my side, there was something else this year that was greener. Instead of being bummed out for the next week I've decided to withdraw from the competition. (Completely unlike me, I know.)

I don't have much to entertain you with except for my fabulous personality. (And even if I did, I don't plan on entertaining you unless you're five.)

But if anyone wants to hang out with some friends who don't have the latest and greatest anything (and probably never will), give us a call.

P.S. We haven't watered our grass in weeks...but somehow, its really green and if that's not symbolism, I don't know what is!

Currently Reading: Bitter Is the New Black by Jen Lancaster

Why I love my BF

2008-06-27T00:05:00.004-05:00

Quote from this evening:

"Doctors in New York are being encouraged to give patients routine HIV tests......What did I say..one in four people in New York have herpes? I'm SO glad we didn't catch anything in that city. $ex and the city wh0res."

I can't stop laughing.