I read this morning about a family I don't even know who is going thru the most tremendous loss. This family lost their 8 month old son after finding out he had a brain tumor less than a month ago.
I'm reading the words written by his parents and am humbled by the strength, faith and perspective they have found while dealing with the most difficult thing that I can imagine. I can barely see my computer screen as I wipe the tears away and can barely see my sweet angel who is only half the age of the little boy. I'm amazed at how this family was able to put the sadness aside and truly celebrate and love the lord and their family during the last few weeks of his life. I listen to the mozart from her play mat as the batteries are dying and have a hard time even typing that word...dying.
It's something that was never even on my radar. Maybe because I've always been an optimistic person, a silver lining seeker...but mostly because the fear of that word is bigger than anything else. You read about people in their last moments who no longer fear death. They talk about the excitement of meeting our maker and the peace of that world. And selfishly, my love for everything in this world and the fear of not having enough days here is so great that I can't even bring myself to picture anything different.
So I've learned that I have absolutely no perspective on the bigger picture of life...I think that I'm hiding behind my fear of it and my bliss in my little bubble of optimism. Regardless, I'm learning and growing and I pray that each of us have the number of bubble days that we want...even though I know that won't happen.
For today, I'm going to cuddle my little angel a little bit more, cry a little bit less and remember that my bubble wouldn't be so great and probably wouldn't even be here if I'd always been able to control everything.
