Life in balance

I'm no health food expert.  I don't have a magic pill/potion/drink that makes you healthy without putting in any effort.  I don't have any certification or credentials that should make you believe anything I say.  What I do have is a lot of family members with opinions (all who love to read and research) and I have friends on all ends of the "health" spectrum.

I've always bounced around when it comes to weight and "size."  I've never considered myself as someone others would reference as healthy but I don't think I've been in the unhealthy category either.  I'm a typical female in that I always want to be healthier and look better than I do. 

What makes me different than the average female is that I don't look in the mirror and see a version of myself that I dislike.  I'm a positive person and a silver lining seeker and I've always liked what I've seen in my reflection.

Why is this a bad thing?

Because it makes me rationalize every decision to have a piece of cheese, glass of wine, ice cream and anything other than exercising or making a healthy choice.

I've tried diets, juices, fad programs, supplements and crazy tactics.  Thankfully I never dedicated a tremendous amount of effort to anything other than happiness.  When I started dating my husband, I realize that it wasn't about how I looked but about how I felt.

I read and follow a lot of healthy people blogs.  I try to stay up to date in the battle of the GMO and what I should/shouldn't give my children.  I don't think there are enough hours in the day to know everything you need to know.  When I research and learn about healthy habits/lifestyle the one thing I'm always coming back to is balance. 

Ultimately there is no cure for laziness, there's no perfect solution that fits everyone's needs and everyone's lifestyle.  And think about it...if a pill existed that could make you fit and healthy without doing anything....would you really want to take it?  What the heck would you be taking?

My journey for a healthier lifestyle is all about balance.  I love essential oils and I've started drinkin NingXia Red daily.  I believe that they help keep my family happy and healthy.  I love cooking.  I believe that I can cook a healthier meal from scratch than I can from a box.  I love to be outside.  I would rather burn calories playing with my family than going to the gym.

BUT....

If my kids get really sick, I'll take them to the doctor and I'll leave there with a perscription.  I'll try oils for what I think is a reasonable amount of time and then I'm giving them modern medicine (hopefully we won't get to that point).   I love to cook for my family but I will always have a box of macaroni in my pantry and when my choice is to spend time with my kids or spend time alone in the kitchen, I will always choose my kids.  And when it comes to exercise, I love to spend time with my kids but I will happily choose to sacrifice burning a few calories to picking up my camera and capturing a precious moment or two.

It's about balance.  It's about making a healthy choice and understanding what is a sacrifice and what is not. 

There are plenty that are far past me in this journey for healthy and what I consider a sacrifice may  not be on their radar...and that's okay!  I challenge you to find the balance in your life whether it is financial, emotional, psychological, physical, spiritual or professional.  It's about the journey, the experience, the lessons and the memories.  I hope yours are filled with laughter and love.

Fine Print

Have you noticed that everything these days comes with fine print attached? You can't buy anything, go anywhere or do anything without there being a waiver, disclaimer, notice, sign or some type of "we are liable" clause in your face.

What is everyone so afraid of?

I've decided that these "security devices" or "cover my a$$ clauses" are a way of getting out of either doing what is right or having morals.

Example:
On Mother's Day we took current BF's mother to brunch at Blue Mesa Grill. This is...strike that...WAS one of my favorite brunch destinations. BF's mother slipped and fell because they had greasy floor mats and she slipped when she stepped off of one onto their concrete floor. Her plate shattered, cut her hand in about 6 places and she went down on her knee which immediately started swelling. The manager was wonderful and assisted in getting her to the ladies room, getting band-aids, taking down her contact info for the accident report and assuring us that corporate would reimburse her for any related medical expenses and she would be contacted the next day. After 5 days, she was finally contacted by their jerk of a lawyer and told she would not be receiving a dime because they were not negligent or liable and he stated the manager told us no such thing....fast forward thru me getting involved, half a dozen phone calls/emails to this man (gentleman does not apply) and the owner and in the end she was offered a free brunch for 4......EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK PEOPLE!!!!

I'm sorry but if you come to my house for dinner and you slip on my floor and spill soda on your top, I'm going to pay for your dry cleaning bill....If you are in my car and I get in a wreck, my insurance will cover you or I will. If you fall on the sidewalk in front of my house, I'm going to go out and help you up and make sure you are okay.

Is this unusual for me to act like this??? Apparently!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, everyone is so afraid of doing something wrong......they won't even chance doing something right.

What are you afraid of?

Having to spend a little money?? Thats why you work...and hopefully live within your means.
Hurting someones feelings? Guess what....you have the power to apologize...and mean it!
Having someone think badly of you? You have the power to earn that reputation back.
Having to admit you were wrong? Suck it up!
Looking someone in the eye? Don't even get me started...thats like a weak handshake....grow a pair

But think of the rewards for yourself or more importantly, for others if you do whats right. Instead of slamming my formerly favorite restaurant, Blue Mesa, in this blog...I'd brag on them. I want to be tacky, accept their offer for brunch for four and walk in there with a helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, crutches, bandaids a motorized chair and a mouth piece with my shirt saying....I fell at Blue Mesa and all I got was this brunch! EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK!

I mean, really....what is everyone SO afraid of?

It makes me sad to think that so many people live in fear and rationalize it as good judgement.

As for me....the only conditions I will gladly offer up in public are..."For better or worse, In good times and bad, In sickness and health, Till death do us part"...... And my only conditions are that I'm making those promises to a decent man who deserves my hand and everything I have to offer.

Anything else...I'll face with my faith in the lord, my commitment to do whats right, the morals my family instilled in me and the courage to take the challenges that each day/week/year/decade may throw my way.

And there's no fine print here.

Merry New Year!

We are back from a whirlwind trip from Sin city. We went to visit my nephews for New Years and had a blast.

It's really hard for me to believe that it is 2009. I wonder how long it will take before I stop writing 2008 by accident.

During the trip I noticed several things. Here is my top ten list.

10-The strip is REALLY long and made of concrete yet women everywhere were in stilettos....this..i don't understand.
9-They have slot machines in grocery stores. Awesome.
8-We took the nephews skating on a floating ice skating rink at Lake Las Vegas....it's a must see. So much fun.
7-BF and I had every intention of really gambling this time, eating at a fancy dinner and buying one of those enormous drinks to walk around with. We spent $5 on the wheel of money, $1 each on penny slots, ate at The Cheesecake Factory and bought 99 cent margaritas and had a blast!
6-Every major city is getting a naked or nearly naked man. NYC has the naked cowboy, Austin has "Leslie" and Vegas had a man in a bikini, tiara, miniskirt, makeup and heels (we saw him 3 times in one night.)
5-I always thought those people on the side of the strip that flip cards and try to hand them to you were handing out advertisements. I learned exactly what they were advertising this year. BF was more than happy to grab several examples to show me.
4-I greeted everyone today with a "Happy New Year" and they looked at me like I was slow. Does that greeting expire on Jan 1st? If so, I missed the memo.
3-This is the first year in many that I didn't wake up with a hangover on Jan 1. It was so nice! We all toasted with sparkling cider, sparkling pear, etc and it was just as fun!
2-Never give BF a noisemaker on new years eve...I'm just now getting my hearing back.
1-I saw SO many military men and women at the airport today. During all of the madness of the holidays, we forget about those who are serving our country and were not able to see their families this year. Say a prayer for them and thank them the next time you see one.

I didn't make a new years resolution this year. I think mine will just be to be a better version of myself.

A better girlfriend, friend, neighbor, teacher, student, christian, daughter, sister, aunt and person.

Happy New Year to all of you!

Christmas Production

Did someone send you an E-Christmas Card this year? With an electronic newsletter? Yeah...I got that too. Its rare that our generation actually uses stamps! Maybe I should go ahead and auto schedule e-cards for the next 10 years to be emailed on Christmas Eve. I bet I can do it from an iphone! Heck I can record video messages and have a soundtrack playing in the background! Not a traditional Christmas song, of course, maybe a pop icon's version of All I Want for Christmas is a Wii. Or Wii Wish You A Merry Christmas. Sometimes I wish we could go back....when there were CAR phones in case of emergency and people actually "caught up" in person, in letters or thru a lengthy phone conversation.

My favorite part of Christmas is coming home and going to the Christmas Eve church service with my family. I have such awesome memories of attending in my pjs as a child and reuniting with old friends as I grew up.

Our church is enormous and has members from all walks of life which is part of what makes it unique and part of what makes it so inviting. Over the past few years, our church has changed...some say "evolved."

This was expected when our original pastor retired and handed over the reigns to his replacement. But now it seems that I barely recognize the church that had such a huge part in framing the christian that I am today.

Now it seems that going to church is more a production than ever before. Complee with programs that advertised upcoming concerts, a 4 minute message from our pastor, the trio that rocked out to an electric guitar and a version of Joy to the World that no one could sing along to and the complete absence of any traditional Christmas hymns. I left feeling disappointed and cheated.

I very much support Praise music in churches. I think it reaches out to those who didn't grow up in a church or who are looking for a more modern/contemporary service. I was raised where we had Praise music during our Wednesday night bible studies or in youth group. It was extremely rare to hear that in "Big Church" as we called it. The women wore dresses, hose and heels and the men wore ties. You dressed up, you sang hymns, you read scripture and you studied the bible. The pastors message reached you and made you think...but the message was scripture and how to apply it.

I can't help but feel that modern churches focus so much time and energy on the performance and production and less on the message.

To me, it's not about the stage lights, the sound board, the band, the video screen (grrr...thats a soap box in itself...i don't want to see advertisements or commercials, tell me what i need in the program) It's not about having the newest cool christian song cause guess what, when you ask me to stand and sing along...if i have to read the video screen for the words that is not cool!).

I miss the days where we would sing as a congregation and you would hear harmony through out the crowd because they were songs we knew by heart. How am I supposed to harmonize if I don't know the melody?

I don't need a glamorous church. I remember when the glamorous aspect to the service was a solo or a small group and maybe a handbell performance. Where has that gone?

I'm tempted to write a note to the new pastor but I'm afraid he won't even read it or care. I think he has plans for this church that include erasing everything that it was except for the real estate.

So how is it, at 28 years old, I suddenly feel like an old person? Where are the churches that have a hymnal in each row that don't collect dust? Are we losing focus? I don't believe in adapting or modernizing the bible to meet our needs....we are supposed to adapt ourselves to meet his needs.

I guess I have to go searching thru podcasts for a video of what church used to be. Should I start in the "oldies" section? Mabye someone will send me another Ecard christmas card or txt me information.

Bad Frys-Good Lesson

Ok, I'm not the person to name call or use my blog for my own benefit but the gloves are off today!!! I have a story to share with you and hope that you will read it and never give Frys Electronics your business afterwards.

Disclaimer: The names have been changed in order to protect the actual crappy people that I dealt with.

I went to my local Frys last week because I am buying the same gift for 3 family members and wanted to get the best value for my money.
I found the department and asked an associate to help me, enter "Corey".

I wont go into the details of the entire experience but to summarize, this is what happened:

I told the sales rep that I had a budget. The first item he suggested for me was $15 over my budget. I reminded him that I had a budget because I'm unemployed and that since I'm buying 3, his item would cost me an additional $45. To which he replied, "yeah but it's only $15 more."

Next, he suggested one that was $5 over my budget so I thanked him for offering to give me $15 to help me cover the overage. He did not laugh and decided I wasn't worth his time. He again reminded me that it was only $5 over my budget. When I reminded him again of my budget, he pointed to what he called "the crappy ones" and started to walk off.

I stopped him by asking him some technical information about one of "the crappy ones" and he said that he wouldn't even know what to tell me about it because, "No one ever buys these and I don't know anything about them." Exit Corey.

Ok friends....here is my beef. Yes, I would absolutely love to buy my friends and family the best and newest Christmas gifts on the market. I would love to have an endless budget where I could adopt a family, provide for my family and help anyone in need this holiday season. But in reality, I haven't had a steady paycheck in 4 months and I'm lucky that I can give any gifts at all. I am saddened by this current situation but I refuse to let it get me down because spending $ is not what this season is about. And when I go to buy a gift for someone, I don't need some crappy salesclerk trying to make me feel like a cheapskate.

So, I called the PIC (Person In Charge) and reached "Peter." I walked Peter thru my unpleasant experience in his store and told him that I didn't appreciate the way "Corey" made me feel. I also told him that I could pretty much guarantee that I wasn't the only person in Frys at that moment who was either unemployed or who was cutting back this year due to the economy.

Peter replied, "Well, you see, we as a company encourage our employees to encourage our customers to spend more in our store. Its called up-selling."
"Thanks Peter for the sales lesson. I'm fully aware of the concept of upselling." I replied.
"Oh good." Peter said as a smart aleck. "So you understand that we, as a company, make more money if our employees encourage spending in our stores."
At this point I wanted to reach thru the phone.
"Yes, Peter. I'm not an idiot. I understand the sales process. And I also understand that if you make your customers feel like crap while executing your 'sales process' you will no longer have customers. And I would think that given our economy and the fact that stores are closing left and right, you would encourage your employees to focus more on meeting the NEEDS of the customer instead of reaching the wallet of the customer."

Peter and I went back and forth and he even had the nerve to tell me that he didn't understand how Corey had hurt my feelings. He eventually said he'd tell Corey to be more sensitive and quickly got me off of the phone. A$$

I then called the Store Manager, the District Manager and the Corporate HQ. Cause I was just that pissed.

I know what you're thinking, dramatic. But after I got off the phone with Peter, I cried the entire way home. This has never happened. And I thought, if someone can have this affect on me and I'm doing fairly well given my situation....what kind of effect will they have on the person that is barely holding it together?

To end on a positive note, I heard back from the sales manager who assured me that was NOT the way their employees or managers were to handle sales or sensitive situations. He apologized profusely and stated that he would have a conversation with all involved.

I don't mean to rant and get everyone down in the dumps a week before Christmas. I do this, in fact, to help. Because this year, more than any other, we are all in this together. We all know someone, are related to someone or are in some way affected by the economy. Whether you are using less electricity/gas this year but paying more, had your savings/investments affected by this economy, know someone who is having a harder time doing the same job, know someone who is without a job, has had their work or pay cut back, or simply scared that they will be in one of the scenarios I mentioned....you recognize that its different this year. And so many people feel like they are on their own, with no one to turn to.

But we are a community, we are neighbors and we all rely on eachother. Whether we celebrate Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa or nothing at all, times are tough. So this year, more than ever, recognize eachothers effort, recognize the difference that people make in your lives, and recognize the needs, success and hopes of those around you. You might be person that is the straw that broke the camels back...but more importantly, you could be the person that reminds them to keep going, shows them the reason for the season and shows them that they can count on their neighbors, their friends and their community.

So all of you, my neighbors, family and community...I thank you for being there for me. I hope that your needs are met and your wishes are granted this holiday season. And if anyone gives you trouble....give me a call because you know I've got your back!

Welcome back lights!!

While driving home last night, I noticed that my neighborhood light display is growing as each day passes. It reminded me that I have not gotten a single holiday decoration down from my attic and I am behind big time!!! (notice, I did not say I have a big behind....I said I'm behind in a big way....don't confuse the two)

Anyhow, as soon as I can get my lazy behind off of this sofa, I plan to begin the process of transforming this home into a holiday masterpiece since my momma will be visiting us on Saturday.

This thought brought me back to our last holiday where the formerly nice old man across the street transformed himself into "that guy" and turned his sprinklers on during the trick or treat night of sweets. I'm telling you, his meanness is the reason we didn't have as many ghosts and goblins at our door.

So I'm wondering, as each day passes, if he will continue this streak and become a bah humbug neighbor. He didn't put lights on his house and I don't remember seeing a tree. Hopefully I'm wrong, but if I had to guess what goes on behind that red door of his....I'd think it goes a little like this:

That mean old man

I have a new perspective on the man you grew up referring to as "that mean old man." This new perspective was gained when I realized that he lives across the street from us.

He is that man who lives alone, is a bit older and really keeps to himself. We didn't meet him until we'd lived there for over 6 months.

He is quiet but polite, not overly conversational but well educated. And up until a few weeks ago, I just thought he was a nice old man.

And then Halloween arrived......

It was around 7pm, just as the sun was starting to set, and I was a little disappointed as we were still waiting the arrival of our first trick-or-treater of 2008. Finally, the doorbell rang and cheerleader and Redskins football player were wide-eyed at our door (wide-eyed because our house was pretty spooky this year). As I was handing out candy, complimenting the costumes and saying hello to the parents I noticed the man across the street open his door. He glanced over to our house, I smiled and waved and he walked out to the side of his house. I didn't think anything of it and I said goodbye to the kiddos. And then, I heard it....

tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, purrrrrrrrr

The jerk (formally known as man) had turned his sprinklers on!!!! He walked back inside, shut the door and turned his porch light off.

I was so mad...and the worst part is that his sprinklers were positioned so they sprayed all the way to the curb so any kids walking by would have to walk out into the street to avoid getting wet!!!!

I haven't said anything to the aforementioned jerk and I don't really know what or if I will say....but let me tell you this....NEXT YEAR, that will not happen.

And if you have been that jerk on Halloween, DON'T!!! You don't have to give out candy, you don't even have to answer the door....just don't be THAT house!

I-Scream for Ice Cream

Why is it that when you crave some ice cream and you know you shouldn't indulge....at that very moment the ice cream lid decides to suction cup itself to the ice cream container? So, you proceed to pry open the side while rotating the container in 1 inch incraments so many times that you actually go around the container twice. Finally, after you're exhausted and your hand and forearm are cold and sticky, the lid is removed.

At this point, I'm so irritated that I don't even want ice cream anymore.

But you can bet I eat it anyway.

Infected...round 2

Last time I was infected was this past summer with the sinus infection from Hades that just wouldn't go away.

This time...it's different.

Since joining the masses in the unemployment line, I've been spending a large amount of time on my trusty laptop. It's seriously shocking...I take it with me out in the front yard attached to an extension chord and set it on top of the bushes while painting the house...I've become obsessed with One Tree Hill. (Never watched the show and I've caught up all the way thru Season 3.)

Since I don't have a tv hooked up to Fios in the kitchen, I am on my laptop while cooking, flipping back and forth between a recipe online and catching up on the shows I missed the previous week (90210, Brothers and Sisters, Desp Housewives, Greys, Private Practice, Fringe...you get the idea.) I've been a good girlfriend and willingly missed my favorite shows realizing I can catch up online.

ANYWAY...back to the point. Last week I ran a full system scan on my computer with both McAfee and Windows Defender. During the scan, Windows Defender popped up and said I had spyware on my computer but didnt have spyware protection. I followed the suggested link and purchased XP Antispyware 2009. This is where things started to go wrong.

I scanned with XP Antispyware and found all kinds of Adware and Spyware and promptly clicked "Remove" and continued on my way. This happened every day for a week. Sunday night I started getting every fake pop up known to man. Things saying I was infected, I needed anti-adware, the server was busy and I needed to try again. When I hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete it said that my task manager had been disabled by the System Administrator. (Um...note to hard drive.. I AM THE SYSTEM ADMIN...I didn't disable ANYTHING!!!)

So, I downloaded an online system scan and found 345 infected items...none of which could be removed unless I purchased the program.

SH*T

I called geek squad and the convo went something like this:

Me: "Um, hi. Something's wrong."
Geek: "Ok, what happened."
Me: "My background says I'm infected instead of the picture of me with a beer like it's supposed to be. I keep getting popups and it says I have Trojans, Spyware, Adware and something called a Rogue."
Geek: "Ok, when and how did this start?"
Me: "Well, last week I bought XP Antispyware 2009"
Geek: *Large Gasp*
Me: "What?"
Geek: "You bought a virus."
Me: "Sh*t. Oh, um...sorry. I mean crap."
Geek: "Do you have the Geek Squad protection plan?"
Me: "Of course not."

You get the idea.

Basically, this XP Antispyware 2009 is a scam. What makes it worse is that I paid for it!! Thats right, I put in my information and credit card number and asked to be infected!!!!

The bad news, the scam is so new that no antivirus software will pick up on it, remove it or fix it. And Geek Squad will charge me $199 to fix it.

The even bad-er news is that I had to go to the bank, change all of my account information and cancel my credit cards.

The good news is that nothing unusual had been charged on my credit card AND BF's cousin is a computer wiz and is fixing it for me (THANK GOODNESS.)

And to kick me when I'm down, I found that there was a monthly maintenance charge on my account for $5.95. When I asked what this was, I was informed that it was a fee charged because I don't have a direct deposit into my account anymore. So basically, they are punishing me because I got laid off. THANKS! Piece of ....

So, I'm all about having a moral for every story. Here's how you avoid this happening to you.

Are you ready?

This is BIG.

NEVER...and I repeat, NEVER run a scan on your computer while connected to the internet. Either turn off the internet button or unplug your cord. Because, it wasn't Windows Defender that popped up saying I needed to buy Anti Spyware, it was Spyware already on my computer that reacted when I started scanning it.

How I've gotten to this point without knowing this crucial information is beyond me.

I think I might arrange a seminar for young women and teach them the things I never learned but should have.

I'm thinking:
~How travel on your own (2001)
~how to paint (2001)
~how to use a lawnmower (2001)
~how to hang a light fixture (2001)
~how to check the dip stick(2002)
~how to start over in life and in love (2002)
~how to interview (2003)
~how to cold call (2003)
~how to manage 10 kids under the age of 10 (2004)
~how to check your tires to see if the strings are showing (2005)
~how to handle a stalker/crazy (2004 & 2006)
~how to groom a dog (2006)
~how to plant a garden (2007)
~how to cook (2007)
~how to cook healthy meals (2008)
~how to run a system scan (2008)
~how to handle getting laid off and how not to handle it(date to be determined)

I'm hoping it will help me fine tune my teaching skills. I'm going to charge $29.99 per person....are you in?

AWESOME

I don't usually preempt my own blog but I saw this today and thought it was definitely worth it. So watch this and then scroll down and read my other blog for today (so that it doesn't feel cheated)

Do we really need greeters?

I don't understand the point of greeters. Other than Walmart, I've never seen a greeter with an actual purpose. At least with Walmart, the "greeter" or "elderly person" is incharge of putting a little sticker on each of the items you're returning and verifying that you didn't steal anything when your bag sounds off the alarm.

When I worked in retail, there was always an employee assigned to the front of the store for the same purpose as the Walmart greeter. But usually, we ended up harassing any potential clients. My favorite is when someone had just stepped foot into the store and we ask, "Good morning! Can I help you find anything?" and what do they answer? "No thanks, I'm just looking."

But I still can understand the purpose of that kind of greeter as you need someone near the door in case someone is going to steal something. But really, do we need to feel all warm and cozy when entering an establishment? Has there been some study proving that cozy people spend more money?

Here's what I don't understand. Yesterday I go to the bank to deposit the last of my severance/commission checks and I'm accosted by a bank greeter. A bank greeter!! In a time when unemployment is at a record high, we seriously have a need for a position as a greeter at the bank??

Think about it.

If I want to start a new account, I'm going to go to someone sitting behind a desk. If I want pretty much anything else, I'm going to go to the ATM or to a teller. The ONLY way I wouldn't know where I'm going is if I was 12 and opening my very first savings account. And in that case, I'm probably with my Mom or have been to the bank with my Mom enough times that I know whats up.

Yet, I have this young lady say, "Good afternoon, Ma'am. What can we help you with today?"

I wanted to say, "You can help me by not delaying me any further than I'm already delayed by having to actually walk into the bank because you don't have a drive thru at this location. So why don't you go make a fresh pot of coffee and stop annoying me. Oh, and don't call me Ma'am."

In reality I just shook my head and tried not to make eye contact, in the same way I handle the perfume sample ladies at the mall.

Change, the ugly duckling.

It is amazing to me how change affects each of us. I used to think that change was my friend. I loved the way it would creep up and surprise me, most of the time with things that I had never thought of. I thought it was exciting, new, and challenging. There were times when I knew it was coming….because it was inevitable and we all expected it. And there were times when no one could’ve predicted it because it was coming whether we wanted it or not. It was like change, fate and destiny were all the best of friends and had the most creative of imaginations.

Most people don’t like change….even if they say they do. They don’t like change in their routines, in the bottom of their purse or collecting space on their nightstand. Change is that friend that is often uncomfortable, often unwelcome and usually takes a lot of getting used to.

But lately, no matter how much I used to love it, I’m not a fan of change and I haven’t been able to see it coming. Lately, change seems to be constant. Change seems to be all around me and the people that I love.

But when you think about change, whether it be in your life or in your pocket, it only really makes a difference when there’s a lot of it. In the big picture of life, a little change doesn’t amount to anything. But the more you have, the more opportunities you have to do something with it.

So I’ve decided that I’m no longer going to be afraid of it….I’m no longer going to dread it’s presence. Instead, I’m going to keep track of it and count it. Because, each time change appears, I’m a little bit closer to using it for something I really need.

What if..

This week I've read some pretty devastating stories. Stories that made me ache for those involved, stories that made me want to help.

One particular story was gut wrenching and involved someone else who was in a similar situation to me and experienced one of my biggest fears. And she was asking for help. Financially.

She had posted a link where anyone could donate to help her get thru this tough time, if they so desired. I immediately got out my credit card to help. But for some reason, I couldn't get myself to click on the "Donate" button.

I didn't donate and for that, I'm ashamed. But I couldn't help asking myself all of those "What if" questions. What if this is a scam? What if the donation website isn't legit? What if they take out more than I allocated? What if it sets me up for recurring withdrawl? What if I get my identity stolen?

All of these paranoid thoughts kept me from helping this person. And it got me thinking. I've volunteered for many charitable causes and tried to get donations. I've been at the mall, trying to stop those who are walking by with a flyer, on the phone trying to get someone to listen and not hang up and even at your door, trying to get you to buy girl scout cookies. I've often been the one asking people to donate to various causes I've supported...and I've judged those who wouldn't give me the time of day and for turning their backs. And here I am now, in their shoes, and I do the same.

When I worked downtown, I passed homeless people on the street on a daily basis. My friends and family always told me not to give them money by saying "they're faking it" or "they'll use it to buy drugs or alcohol." So instead, I would bring them anything leftover from lunch and I always kept a pack of bottled water in the car to give out. Because frankly, even if they are faking it, even if they are addicted, this is Texas. It's hot, they have a reason for being there and I am a good person.

I've always been the first one to throw stones at selfish people because I never considered myself as selfish, until today.

I've since emailed her for her mailing address so I could mail her a cash donation but I still don't feel good about how much I questioned her. When in reality, the "What If" question that I SHOULD have been asking myself is: What if it happened to me? What if I needed help?

My challenge to you is to not react the same what that I did. Maybe you're not comfortable giving your credit card info either but find a way to help. Because one day, you could be the one in need.

Open letter To My Easy Drive To Work.

Dear Easy Drive to Work,

I just wanted to say that I'll miss you desperately. We both knew this day was coming and as I'm now over halfway thru my last week with you, I've never appreciated you more. The constant rain this week has made me dread what my future drive to work will be and its anything but YOU....Easy.

I imagine that a week from today, I will be stuck in numorous School Zones and traffic jams, the usual issues one has when school is in session.

So please know, Easy Drive to Work, I've cherised the 2 1/2 months we've spent together. I look forward to your occasional visits during fall break, christmas break and spring break until we're back together next summer.

Until then, I'll be thinking of you every morning and afternoon.

All my love,
MC

The making of Me.

So I've ventured away from really writing about the yucky love stuff in order to appeal to a more diverse audience of readers. But who am I kidding, every female has stories to tell so I thought it was time to tell mine. You see, when I write about yucky love, I want it to be funny, entertaining, real and give hope to others. And initially, the only way I thought I could do that was to tell the ultimate love story (with me as the leading lady) and the fairy tale ending we all grew up learning about, thus giving hope that everyone can be as happy as me (ok...you can all stop laughing at me now.) But I don't have that story to tell you.

And then I realized, even though my story is far from perfect, it's truly real and I think it can be funny, entertaining, real and I maybe give hope that we all go thru these hardships and that it's ok. So here goes.

I have been in love 3 different times in my life: Steven, Ben, and Current BF (names have all been changed). (ok really i've been in love hundreds of times...chocolate, michael buble songs, snow skiing, etc... but this is just about being in love with the opposite $ex so go with it.)

Steven.
I was in high school and funny enough, I thought I had already been in love before him (I hadn't). I don't really know how we met, but he was a senior when I was a junior and I became the girl who wore his letter jacket. I was blissfully happy. It was the time of the innocent love...we were each others first everything and experiencing life together was everything I'd imagined. We didn't do the break up & get back together thing, we just stayed together....for 3 1/2 years! And to be honest, I can't even remember why we ended up breaking up in the end. What I do remember is that it seemed to fizzle and he broke up with me and instead of grieving over that loss, I made the most of my time and quickly found someone new.....Ben. (There's more to Steven's story...stay tuned)

Ben and I met in college about a minute after Steven broke up with me (well, maybe more like a week). We immediately hit it off and started to date. When Steven got word of this, he came back and wanted me again. I quickly turned my nose up to him with a "you snooze you lose" attitude and focused on Ben. Ben was younger than me and wanted to learn what I had to teach him, haha. We got serious quickly and I felt powerful being the older/wiser of the two. I broke up with him after 2 months for about 8 hours...(it was during summer finals, i was stressed and ridiculous and I don't remember why I did it). When I realized I was being dramatic, I went looking for him. When I found him he was in his yard kissing another girl and there was an empty wine bottle on the table. I ran from his house in tears, making it known that I was there so he would see me and come running after me realizing his mistake. Only, he didn't. I ran to the comfort of Stevens arms who was still there for me, but thankfully, I didn't confuse the situation more and Steven and I just stayed friends. The new semester was starting so I felt I had a fresh start.

As soon as school started, Ben came back....begging me. He sent me the most incredible arrangement of roses that I have ever seen to this day. They were salmon pink and so big I thought they were tulips. He romanced me in every way possible to get me back and I eventually gave in. He promised nothing happened with the slut I saw him kissing. (sorry, couldn't resist) After a month he came clean and admitted that he cheated...of course, it was followed by Ross Geller's famous line, "we were on a break" and the only break I validated was my heart breaking.

I stayed with him and I thought about him cheating every day for 6 months. Eventually it became every other day and after a good while, I could go a week without thinking about it. Our relationship healed and we were having a great time...planning a future together. Fast forward 2 years and 9/11 happened. Everything that was secure in my life suddenly seemed upside down. Ben decided to study abroad and I was devastated. We decided that we didn't want to be apart so he asked me to go with him and I did. I think 9/11 had that affect on so many people. Don't get me wrong, I loved him, but I was so terrified of losing him after that...I almost didn't want him to be out of my sight! But, going abroad was the best decision I could've made and I wouldn't have considered it had it not been for Ben. My time there was incredible. When we returned, he proposed in front of my entire family and I happily accepted. This was it! We started planning the wedding, picked out our kids names and lived happily ever after.

That's how I thought this story would end.

After we got engaged, I found a great job that I loved while starting my senior year (5th year, haha) and I began working alot. He was also working but after missing work for the 5th day from playing Halo and losing his license for too many speeding tickets, he got fired. He then starting hanging with friends and met a friend of a friend. Oh yeah, did I mention this friend was a girl? She was from my hometown, 4 years younger than me, played all the same sports, involved in all of the same things. She was ME, just 4 years younger, I call her Mini Me. I challenged this friendship and was told that he wanted to hang out with me during the day but I was too busy working. Gee, how selfish of me! He broke up with me in the middle of a college football game and we decided to take Thanksgiving break to think about if we wanted to be together. When I returned, I told him I wanted to be with him and he told me that she'd shopped with him during the break and she encouraged him to buy cargo pants and he liked that. Weird, right? (back story is we were both about to graduate and I was encouraging him to spend his $ on clothes for upcoming interviews instead of yet another pair of those pants where you'd unzip them below the knee and ABRACADABRA! they were shorts.) Anyhow, as I'm sure you can imagine, it was a very NASTY break up. He tried to call the cops on me for breaking and entering when I was moving out and tried to sue me to get the ring back. It was BAD.

When it was over, I called Steven. He'd since graduated and moved away and was there for me yet again. I realized that I'd never gotten over Steven and now I had 2 lost loves to mend from. I swore off dating until I knew what I wanted. Six months later, after graduation, I left my pain behind me and happily moved away, excited for the next chapter of my life. (Ben and Mini Me continued dating for a few years and eventually broke up, I don't know if he cheated or not...and I don't care).

After about a year of living in a new city, I thought I was ready to move on.

I was working a great job that paid me nothing but had great potential and was really fun. I dated here and there, mostly first dates, but dates none the less. I'd put Ben behind me and Steven and I were still friends. We'd considered giving it another go but we never acted on it. Then one day, I get a call from Steven's new girlfriend. She hates me and decides to involve me in one of their fights...it was a ridiculous few days...and then, after all of those years, Steven and my friendship was over. I had nothing to do with it, I hadn't even really talked to him in awhile, but she was insanely jealous of our friendship and hated me. And to be honest, what girl hasn't been jealous of her guy's ex....I thought she was a crazy psycho but kinda understood at the same time. She'd given him an ultimatum and he chose her. I was ok with that and wished them both well...I don't think she believed me but thats ok. They've since married and are really happy...or at least I've heard.

Moving on, I was working my new job after getting my promotion and I get a random voicemail one day. My boss had forwarded me a new business call and it's Ben's sister. She works in the same industry and just happened to need my company's services and I just happened to be the next one on the new business call in list. I went to my boss and asked to have someone else work the account and was quickly denied and told to grow up. I stared at the phone for 30 minutes before I finally called her back. I focused on the work and nothing but the work and then she asked, "how are you?"

Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!

This is the moment when you need to be happily married with baby on the way, ridiculously wealthy, world traveled, successful and have lost 20 pounds. I was none of those things. I didn't have a husband (I hadn't had a date in 6 months), I was living paycheck to paycheck, hadn't been on vacation since college when my parents paid for it, I was still trying to figure out what the heck I was supposed to do in my career and the weight....well, that's none of your business but lets say the weight listed on my drivers license was WAY off!

I'm proud to say that I was positive, honest, not embellishing too much, but emphasizing whatever highlights I could think of. I then asked how she was and she told me 2 seconds about herself and then had verbal diarrhea about Ben. Oh, And guess what? He's married. Oh, And guess what? They have a daughter. Oh, And guess what? He named her the name we'd picked to name our first daughter (first AND middle name, WTF?) Oh and these names were not just Kate Ann, etc. These were NOT run of the mill names and I PICKED THEM OUT!!!! Oh, And guess what? His sister emailed me pictures.

KILL. ME. NOW.

What did I do wrong here? I took the necessary time to get over this relationship! I learned the lessons! I cried the tears! I paid the price already!! Why is it that now, more than 3 years later...I'm still getting hit by this?

After I sufficiently emailed every person that has known me since that time and had all of the, "you are NOT going to believe this" conversations, I let it go (or so I thought). I'd wanted to name my daughter that name since I was in high school, but it's ok. I decided it would be good to email him to say congratulations. (Seriously, Megster, you should have medicated me to prevent this) I thought I was being a mature adult...I told him I was thankful that he realized before the wedding that I was not the right person for him, I applauded his honesty (laugh) and I was happy to see that he was doing so well (gag). I acknowledged that it was a bad breakup and I was sorry for the mutual hurt but I really wished him nothing but the best.

He never responded.

After a month of convincing myself that I was ok...I think I finally was.

Then, almost a year later, thru a series of coincidences, I met my current BF. I say "current" because I have no open registries with this man. That being said, I have every intention of not screwing this up and hopefully, one day, we'll get to point and shoot that gun at things that we don't need but want others to buy us. I won't go into the story with current BF because I don't really like to start too many stories where I don't know the ending. But I'm happy and healthy and hopeful for the future.

I believe that we learn something with every relationship we have...be it occupational, friendship, romantic, etc. With Steven, I learned how to be a girlfriend (and how not to be), how innocent love is and how romantic it can be. I learned how important family is and I learned that there was someone I was supposed to become, not just someone I thought I should be. And most importantly, I learned that I had so much left to learn. With Ben, I learned how to fight to the death and win, I learned whats really important to me and whats not. I learned that I never want to be with someone who doesn't believe in our lord, I learned that culture is a beautiful thing, and I learned to trust my instincts and listen to my mother. I learned about another side of the world and I learned what I didn't want for the rest of my life. And most importantly, I finally learned how to let go.

When I started dating my current BF, I took what I learned and put it into action. Here are a few of my favorites:

~Since I knew how to fight and win, I decided that it wasn't winning or losing that's important, it's about learning and growing together.
~Since I knew how to be romanced, I decided I wanted to learn how to be romantic in HIS eyes, not just what I thought was romantic.
~Since I learned how important family can be, I decided to open my arms to his family in hopes that one day they will do the same.
~Since I knew that having the same faith was so important to me, I learned to make a mental memory of how special it meant the first time he said that he prays for us.

And now, I've realized that the hardest thing I've ever had to learn, but the most important thing to put into action was to have faith. That even if MY ending isn't how I've always pictured it....it's going to be better than I expected. Even if I go thru hardships along the way, I'll learn from them and use those lessons as I continue on this thing we call life.

My hopes in sharing these memories with you is that someone out there might read this and identify with it. Hopefully use it to keep going, use it to realize that it's not the fairy tale that we ultimately want...it's the reality. We want someone to love us because of our flaws, not in spite of them. And for that, I'm not afraid to admit mine.

Maybe that's optimism, maybe that's faith...mainly, its just me.

"And also with you...."

this is what you're supposed to say to someone who tells you to peace in church...haha. ok not really but a funny twist.

I'm posting to reassure everyone that I'm calm cool and collected after the accusations of the weekend.

I was shocked that someone could accuse me of having ill intentions when it couldn't be more opposite. Rest assured, I enjoy the glory and credit of compliments too much than to try to pass off anyones work as my own. I did not come up with the recipe on "how to make a cool tie" lord knows I have zero skills when it comes to sewing. That said, I also did not get the recipe from Crazy Claudia and if you'll see my prior post, I linked directly to my original source. (props to texaslauren77 for her play on words for Claudia to cool off...haha)

I sincerely apologize to anyone who might have assumed that I plagarized in any way and I'm flattered and humored that you might think it was an MC creation, hahaha. (as if)

But now I'm officially off of my soap-box and ready rejoin the rest of the world in Olympic celebration!

Friday we had an Opening Ceremonies and Olympics party. We were supposed to have 4 events (table tennis, horseshoes, darts and ladderball) but just stuck to table tennis and later....what house party wouldn't be complete without beer pong! The Megster was a too classy to drink beer so during her game, she chose wine pong. Megster learned the lesson that if you're going to play wine pong, you better have mad skills because losing 2 games in a row = Megster drunky girl!)

I felt like I was in a time warp as I hadn't hosted a party of this sort since college but it was a lot of fun (and a lot of advil the next morning). The victorious Gold Medal beer pong team champs were the new founder of B*tching Brides and her hubby. (Hubby also took home the all around Gold)

It was a great time and I had the Olympics on all weekend...I can't wait to watch the mens team gymnastic finals tonight!

Go Team USA!

A Message to my "alleged" supporters....

i received an ungreatful comment from "Cynthia" today. Thought you would enjoy the comment and my response.....

Frankly, I expect better from anyone who desires to help our troops.

From Cynthia:

Cynthia has left a new comment on your post "How to make a Cool Tie":

Please don't copy material from our site without attribution or permission. This post is a copy of (some website that I did not get my recipe from) which is copyrighted and may not be used in this way.

Be fair. Write your own stuff, or if you copy, use a teaser and a link back instead of just grabbing other people's work

hey "Cynthia"....

First off, I've never been to that link you sent me and I didn't "copy" from you so bug off. And, SHAME ON YOU!!! I would tend to think that anyone who cares AT ALL about our troops would be more than willing (and greatful) to post, share, spread the word on any recipe on how to make something to keep our troops cool. Apparently, you are only concerned about recognition instead of our troops. This makes me sad for you and wonder how you sleep soundly at night.

Because, you see, my only goal in these posts is to get supplies to our troops. THAT IS IT. I want to do my part in helping our troops get what they need. I think that its the least that I can do.

Clearly, you are only concerned with recognition and it makes me that much more likely to NOT recognize you for the COMPLETELY SELFISH and asinine person that you are. But, I am so angry that I don't have the ability to be the bigger person right now.

Personally, all I have to say in response to your absurd post is.....SHAME ON YOU....I EXPECT BETTER FROM MY READERS. If you don't like what I have to say, or post, you are free to not return.

FYI-I didn't get my recipe from your website and it makes me sad for you that you would try to claim info posted on this oh-so-private thing we call "the internet"

THANKS!~ MC

PS- for your info, i got my recipe from here...not "your" site and you should notice, they've also stated:

Intellectual Property Rights for Cool Ties

Several individuals have claimed to have invented cool ties, and some have claimed various intellectual property rights including patents. A search of the United States Patent and Trademark Office www.uspto.gov indicates there are NO currently valid trademarks for “Cool Tie” or “Cool Ties”. Any claims otherwise are FALSE. A patent was issued for a cool tie in the late 1990’s, however this patent was issued almost ten years after Dan Wofford, Jr. and the US Cooperative Extension Agency published patterns and instructions regarding how to make cool ties and evaporative body coolers. Therefore, this patent will NOT stand up in court and was a waste of time, effort and money by the patent holder.

Blog Pimp!

Ok, so there's this fantastic new blog from a fantastic person I know and I think it's hilarious!

Are you married or planning a wedding? Have some frustrations you'd like to vent about or some funny/not so funny stories to tell? Visit BitchingBrides blog and share your stories!

And while I'm at it, pimp YOUR blog on my comment list!

Rant- Pee Test

I received this in an email today from a friend and I thought it was thought provoking:

THE JOB - URINE TEST

I HAVE TO PASS A URINE TEST FOR MY JOB... SO I AGREE 100%. Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck,I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their tush while I work. . . . Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

Does what goes around really come back around?

I'm starting to wonder if that's true, I've always been hopeful that it was. I feel like it keeps me on my A game and holds me accountable because, boy, if something I did is coming back around for me....I have a feeling its going to be bad! As often as I've failed at being a truly good person, I have the true desire to be "good." And I don't think that everyone out there shares that desire....but I hope I'm wrong about that.

I think about the people who have done me wrong and from what I know about them at this point, I don't know that anything has "come back around" to bite them in the tush for what they did. And how awful to admit that it actually makes me sad. Do I honestly want to know that they have been punished in some way for their actions?

Sadly...yes. Yes I Do!

So I find myself in a really selfish situation (otherwise known as "why me?") in that, I tend to get bitten in the you-know-what everytime I misbehave....and usually the punishment is worse than the crime. And though I am far from perfect, I find myself often casting the first stone when it comes to wanting those who did me wrong to be punished!

This is something I hope that I won't always have to struggle with. I hope at somepoint I can just get over myself and realize that anyone else's suffering won't make mine better or even justified.

Until then..the only thing that keeps coming back around in my life is this heat....what AM I being punished for?? At least we're all in this together...now someone go buy a bag of ice and we'll all sit around it like a campfire, k?