Rut Roh

Rut Roh
Ever get stuck in the same mindset? That seems to be my mentality this week. Maybe it's because I'm really looking forward to the weekend and so the monotony of the work week is getting to me, or maybe because it's raining. (Or maybe it's because our neighbor fell thru our ceiling this weekend and we've had a mess to clean up ever since.)

Regardless, I'm stuck in a rut..going on day 3, and I can't seem to get out of it.

But one thing I've noticed over my long 28 years...If you look forward to the future so much, it makes it harder to enjoy the present and for me, my rut is not enjoying today.

This is something I have always struggled with being the planner that I am. When I was in college, my roommate asked me if I wanted to be married or engaged by the time I graduate and I remember telling her, "No...I don't plan like that, I'm pretty laid back. I don't want to be married or engaged, I just want to know WHO I'm going to marry by the time I graduate."

WOW

What an idiot I was.

I was in a sorority in college and that didn't help things. We had these incredible ceremonies, Candle passes, where you would pass the drop or the engagement ring of the girl who got dropped or engaged. (By the way, getting dropped is when a fraternity boy gives you his greek letter charm on a necklace. It the equivalent of a promise ring) The lights would be out, you'd stand in a circle, pass the candle with the ring or drop tied by a ribbon and the girl who's ring or drop it was would blow out the candle. The diamond would sparkle in the candle light and we'd all be jealous as hell and hope it wasn't that beeotch who got engaged. Everyone would shreik with excitement and congratulate the gal.

SERIOUSLY!?!?! What are we doing to ourselves. These girls are probably not even 21 years old and getting engaged before they graduate and have their first job!! And we're encouraging this?? Do we later have the candle pass where you tie the divorce papers to the candle and the lucky ex-wife blows out the candle?

I too have been guilty of asking the high school student or college student what they want to do with their life. How are they supposed to know? How many people do you know that are actually using their degree?? My brother has a history degree and he works in Advertising. This is the case with most people I know. We train our youth to set goals and achieve them but we're training them to think SO far in advance. I think very few people actually know what they want to do with their life when they pick their college major or even their college of choice. I didn't know what I wanted to do...heck, I still don't. But I'm learning things that I don't want to do and other things that I enjoy doing. I think it's a process, not a plan.

I remember the scene from "Never Been Kissed" where Drew Barrymore is a reporter who has gone undercover as a high school student. Her gym coach tells her "if you don't pass gym, you'll never get into college" and she tells her coach, "you guys are still telling that lie?"

I guess my point is that everyone has expectations and hopes for the future. And I believe that when someone asks you about your future, they genuinely hope that you're happy and that exciting things are happening in your life. But so many of us put so much emphasis on hopes, expectations, goals and measuring life from major event to major event, that we miss the greatness of today.

Take time to stop and smell the roses. If you can't find any, come to my house, Memaw would be proud...mine have two pink blooms at the top...I think that's a good sign.