Infected...round 2

Last time I was infected was this past summer with the sinus infection from Hades that just wouldn't go away.

This time...it's different.

Since joining the masses in the unemployment line, I've been spending a large amount of time on my trusty laptop. It's seriously shocking...I take it with me out in the front yard attached to an extension chord and set it on top of the bushes while painting the house...I've become obsessed with One Tree Hill. (Never watched the show and I've caught up all the way thru Season 3.)

Since I don't have a tv hooked up to Fios in the kitchen, I am on my laptop while cooking, flipping back and forth between a recipe online and catching up on the shows I missed the previous week (90210, Brothers and Sisters, Desp Housewives, Greys, Private Practice, Fringe...you get the idea.) I've been a good girlfriend and willingly missed my favorite shows realizing I can catch up online.

ANYWAY...back to the point. Last week I ran a full system scan on my computer with both McAfee and Windows Defender. During the scan, Windows Defender popped up and said I had spyware on my computer but didnt have spyware protection. I followed the suggested link and purchased XP Antispyware 2009. This is where things started to go wrong.

I scanned with XP Antispyware and found all kinds of Adware and Spyware and promptly clicked "Remove" and continued on my way. This happened every day for a week. Sunday night I started getting every fake pop up known to man. Things saying I was infected, I needed anti-adware, the server was busy and I needed to try again. When I hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete it said that my task manager had been disabled by the System Administrator. (Um...note to hard drive.. I AM THE SYSTEM ADMIN...I didn't disable ANYTHING!!!)

So, I downloaded an online system scan and found 345 infected items...none of which could be removed unless I purchased the program.

SH*T

I called geek squad and the convo went something like this:

Me: "Um, hi. Something's wrong."
Geek: "Ok, what happened."
Me: "My background says I'm infected instead of the picture of me with a beer like it's supposed to be. I keep getting popups and it says I have Trojans, Spyware, Adware and something called a Rogue."
Geek: "Ok, when and how did this start?"
Me: "Well, last week I bought XP Antispyware 2009"
Geek: *Large Gasp*
Me: "What?"
Geek: "You bought a virus."
Me: "Sh*t. Oh, um...sorry. I mean crap."
Geek: "Do you have the Geek Squad protection plan?"
Me: "Of course not."

You get the idea.

Basically, this XP Antispyware 2009 is a scam. What makes it worse is that I paid for it!! Thats right, I put in my information and credit card number and asked to be infected!!!!

The bad news, the scam is so new that no antivirus software will pick up on it, remove it or fix it. And Geek Squad will charge me $199 to fix it.

The even bad-er news is that I had to go to the bank, change all of my account information and cancel my credit cards.

The good news is that nothing unusual had been charged on my credit card AND BF's cousin is a computer wiz and is fixing it for me (THANK GOODNESS.)

And to kick me when I'm down, I found that there was a monthly maintenance charge on my account for $5.95. When I asked what this was, I was informed that it was a fee charged because I don't have a direct deposit into my account anymore. So basically, they are punishing me because I got laid off. THANKS! Piece of ....

So, I'm all about having a moral for every story. Here's how you avoid this happening to you.

Are you ready?

This is BIG.

NEVER...and I repeat, NEVER run a scan on your computer while connected to the internet. Either turn off the internet button or unplug your cord. Because, it wasn't Windows Defender that popped up saying I needed to buy Anti Spyware, it was Spyware already on my computer that reacted when I started scanning it.

How I've gotten to this point without knowing this crucial information is beyond me.

I think I might arrange a seminar for young women and teach them the things I never learned but should have.

I'm thinking:
~How travel on your own (2001)
~how to paint (2001)
~how to use a lawnmower (2001)
~how to hang a light fixture (2001)
~how to check the dip stick(2002)
~how to start over in life and in love (2002)
~how to interview (2003)
~how to cold call (2003)
~how to manage 10 kids under the age of 10 (2004)
~how to check your tires to see if the strings are showing (2005)
~how to handle a stalker/crazy (2004 & 2006)
~how to groom a dog (2006)
~how to plant a garden (2007)
~how to cook (2007)
~how to cook healthy meals (2008)
~how to run a system scan (2008)
~how to handle getting laid off and how not to handle it(date to be determined)

I'm hoping it will help me fine tune my teaching skills. I'm going to charge $29.99 per person....are you in?