RIP

I've never been described as a girlie girl. Sure, I wear skirts and heels, I love to shop and socialize but I also drink beer, watch sports, quote stupid movies and I'm fiercly competitive. I have a big mouth and never back down from a trash-talking match and I'm pretty much just awesome. (did i mention i have a big ego?)

And then this weekend, everything changed.

Two weeks ago I paid $20 for a chance at a million. (really a chance at $200 but I tend to embellish.) I submitted my picks and my hopes and dreams grew. I committed the sin of picking my favorites for fear that I would curse them by picking them to lose. My horns didn't have the confidence of America but they had my support.

I cheered thru every game and let out a big "owwwww...did you see that" for every high arched 3pt shot and steal and yesterday

And yesterday, bless their hearts, not only did my horns lose, it wasn't even a close game. And with their chance of a title, so went my chance of a million (or $200).

So this is me admitting that I was wrong. I'm a loser. A big loser.

And for now, this longhorn's big mouth has been silenced.

Rest In Peace hopes and dreams, rest in peace. (at least until baseball season)

Higher?? Really?

So I may be late in the game here but I just found this today and my face hurts from laughing. I heard their new "rap" that was leaked to Ryan Seacrest months ago but this is the first that I've heard of this incredible...um....video. Enjoy!

Mom and Dad's Surprise Party

My brother, sister and I threw my parents a surprise 30th Anniversary Party this past weekend. Here's a little slide show for your enjoyment. I think it's safe to say that a good time was had by all!

Recline at your own risk.......

The agony.....the pain....the confusion. Ever have those moments where you are so sore from trying to get your out-of-shape, over worked, lazier than you ever knew you could be, tired old self into shape that you can barely walk? Ever have trouble sitting down on the toilet because you're so sore? Welcome to my world on Monday, March 24th 2008.

I wake up to my first day of work as a 28 yr old (my birthday was Saturday) and I have never felt older in my entire life. I waddle like a severely pregnant woman down the hallway (which apparently has grown in length overnight...surely it was never this long) on my way to the kitchen to make coffee. I can't for the life of me figure out what I have done to myself to cause so much pain.

Thinking back over the weekend..... there was the drive to my parents house for my birthday weekend and their surprise anniversary party....it was a smashing success if I don't say so myself, I highly recommend renting a margarita machine for your next event. The party went off without any problems with the exception of my parents air conditioner having a disagreement about whether it could keep the 60+ people cool, I kept encouraging it "you can do it, i know you can cool off this house...just a little more!!!" and, of course, the how shall i describe it, gay-pride, dia de los muertos, telle tubbie, starburst, fuscia and turquoise 2 tiered wedding cake....which was oh-so-similar to the solid white cake i described with a few cacti, chili peppers and maracas placed strategically around the side. (i'm over it, it was delicious but overpriced, or should i say deliciously overpriced?)

I digress...after the anniversary celebration, we all stumbled towards our sleeping destinations. Mine had changed from the night before as someone higher up on the food chain (and deservedly so) arrived as a surprise and I graciously offered up my claim on the upstairs bedroom. So I was left with two choices 1) the upstairs sofa, so incredibly comfortable but located in prime morning news, coffee drinking and early rising location or 2) my dad's recliner. I opted for the latter.

Now when I say "recliner" let me clarify. This is not the huge, oversized leather rocking chair with the handle on the side. This is the sleek leather chair that you don't realize is a recliner until you lean back.

With all recliners there are two positions where the foot rest pops up and then when you "recline." I am a stomach/side sleeper. This poses a challenge for recliner sleeping as every time you unconciously turn to the side, the recliner thinks you have woken up and kindly returns to position #1 thus waking you up and forcing you to lean back again and return to recline position. This was my night, over and over again. Sometimes in my sleep, sometimes awake and sometimes I think I must have just kept my muscle clentched as I tried to push downward with my feet to maintain recline position.

Regardless, my lazy a$$ got more of a work out in my calves trying to recline peacefully Saturday night than I have in all my 28 years.

I'm finally able to walk without a limp today. So if you are inclined to recline....recline at your own risk and try to limit yourself to only cat naps if possible.

I say again....advil?? anyone??

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!! It's a testament to your love that you're stiill married today (especially after raising us!)

Happy Anniversary to ME!

Today is my one year anniversary. My first anniversary with my job. A year ago, I thankfully and gladly started a completely new position with a completely new company in a completely new industry. Did I make that point??? Completely??

I was referred by a friend's husband and his recruiting company who thought I would be perfect for the job and the company. I will forever be in-debted to them because gosh darnit, they were right. "for taking a chance...on an unknown kid" movie reference.......anyone know it?

I digress. So it's my one year anniversary and it feels kinda wierd. Maybe its because I came from a job that just didnt fit for numerous reasons. Or maybe it's because I didn't know that companies or bosses existed like the ones where I now call home. Regardless, my message to you is that if you're in a place where you aren't motivated, you aren't inspired and you aren't appreciated.....GET OUT!!!!

Get out, explore new possibilities because you might just find that right fit that allows you to be completely inappropriate while creating an environment where you enjoy working and being a part of something truly great.

They Do Exist!!!

Happy Anniversary Me! I think I'll make you dinner tonight!

Woody

I've always considered my parents to be funny people. In fact, I think that I get my sick and twisted sense of humor from my parents. I learned yesterday that their sick humor has reached a whole new level.

I was talking to my Mom yesterday and she informed me that they are getting a new dog this Friday! Now, thats very exciting news considering their back yard has been very lonely since the Christmas Eve passing of our 16 year old family dog, Rascal. Gus, the 9 year old bear, has been without a playmate this entire time.

When talking about the new family addition with my Mom, she informs me that Woody has some minor medical problems. This is not good news as Rascal had major health issues as he aged and in fact, all of our pets have. (cat with diabetes who needed insulin injections 2x day, my dog with an infected brain growth, rascal with spinal surgery, gus with a thyroid problem, the cat who had to wear a cone for 2 weeks.)

Introducing the newest memeber of the family: Woody! Woody, is a 3 year old black lab with a penis problem. That right people, I'll give you a moment to re-read that last sentence. The many vets in the area discussed doing surgery to repair the Pay-nus (that's penis with a southern accent) but they were afraid that scar tissue would develop and cause other problems.

Apparently, at some point in Woody's 3 years on this earth, he was running and encountered either a sharp metal object or barbed wire fence and injured his schlong. I've been told that it was so severe that now Woody's woody dangles. Mom and Dad are formulating a plan of how to answer my nephews questions on "the pee pee". Personally, I've had so many images in my head, I don't know what to expect when I meet Woody.

So, my wonderful loving and hilarious parents have adopted a dog with a broken wiener and expect that he will be a fantastic new addition to the family. When I asked them if they planned to re-name the dog, my dad said they'd thought of several names, Not-So-Woody, Pecker Head, Wants-A-Woody. After a day or so of pondering this issue, I've decided that Woody just might be the perfect name, the perfect element of ongoing comic relief and I just can't wait to meet him and see the broken wanger. I'll have to resist the urge to take a picture or pee my pants.

Welcome Woody, hows it hangin?

St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick's Day, a day we celebrate some irish saint who drove all of the snakes out of Ireland. Can you have a more random holiday? Don't get me wrong, I love any excuse to wear shirts with inappropriate sayings, drink green beer, stand around getting wasted and sunburned all day. The latter may not be a traditional portion of St. Patrick's Day but here in Dallas, Texas...it's what we live for. The annual Greenville Avenue St. Patrick's Day Parade. Kinky Friedman and Matthew McHottahay were the past two years grand marshalls and anyone who's anyone is there.


My friends and I always gather at the CVS (formerly Eckerds) parking lot and proceed to act like we're in college again. I've made a fool of myself on several occasions but made even more memories.


This year began with a breakfast at our house complete with mimosas, bloody marys, beer and yards. We took the DART rail and were on the edge of our seats. When we got off the train, we were greeted with the overwhelming stench of urine as we walked past the area of bushes where everyone cops a squat and even saw one classy gal standing and pulling up her thong as she'd finished doing her business.

When we arrived at the parking lot we were greeted by a fairly large green man passed out in a reclining lawn chair. It appeared that he too participated in some urination but failed to pull his pants down first. His dear friends were trying to revive him to no avail. I couldn't find my friends even though they were ten feet away and I finally spotted one of them talking to the cops. He eventually had them laughing and was able to walk away and join the rest of us.

I don't think we saw any of the parade except for the budweiser 18wheelers that drove past a few times but we didn't care. We created pranks that were so funny at the time, I almost peed a little. And on that note, we would each go missing for about 45 minutes when we had to go stand in the mile long lines for the potty.

Later the same green man who greeted us was then trying to stand but decided to pause and vomit all over himself before finding his feet. I'm sure his mother would be proud.

After the parade we walked the three blocks down to the restaurant where we were turned away because of our cooler. We made our way to the next bar and realized we were not going to win the battle. I decided to start selling the beer and as soon as Craig shouted "$2 beers" we were surrounded by a mob of people throwing ones my way. I think it's the closest I'll ever be to a stripper. In less than a minute, we'd sold all but two of our beers and had enough to buy the first round. It was a genius plan. We went to the bar, ate drank and were a very merry group. Craig entertained us on our dart ride home with many a "blood ell, tom" and it was a successful day.


Today we are sore for some reason, sunburned and have a green residue on our necks from the beads. So I just want to say "thank you Saint Patrick" for getting those damn snakes out of Ireland because without you, I wouldn't have that one day in March each year to participate in this ridiculous but fantastic display of alcohol consumption. Cheers! Oh, and does anyone have some advil?

"Again"

This word has developed into one of my favorite words and holds a sweet place in my heart.

*Disclaimer: What you are about to read is emotional in nature and the pure definition of girlie. I do not claim any responsibility for a warm, mushy feeling inside, smile on the face, sigh or even the response of "awww". If you feel you may be subject to this response, save yourself.*

Last night, my sweet Ryan did one of my favorite things....we were supposed to go on a walk which we usually do in the evenings with the dogs and my lazy self fell asleep while watching the reunion finale of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. When I woke up at midnight, I immediately felt guilty for not following thru on my promise to go on a walk with him. I quietly made my way into the kitchen for some water and tip toed back into the living room. I apologized sweetly and told him I was going to bed. After a kiss goodnight, he said one of my new favorite words, "again."

A smile immediately came across my face because this told me two things. 1) I was not in trouble for falling asleep and 2) he wanted another kiss.

Now, I usually consider myself a pretty tough, accomplished gal but when he says this, I just melt. He can make this educated, established almost 28yr old and turn her into a 13yr old nervous teenager with braces, giggling at the sight of the cute boy in the class.

And my favorite part?? The second kiss is always better, never stop with the first kiss AGAIN!!!

Ahh, daylight savings...

This is an official shout-out for Daylight Savings Time. Can I get a hell yeah?

Okay seriously, daylight savings time=sliced bread...its a toss up. During the winter months, my evenings consist of leaving work as the sun goes down, pulling into the driveway in the dark, changing into my pjs or comfy clothes, opening a bottle of wine, starting a fire in the fireplace (i'm a pyro) making dinner and watching tv. I'm usually in bed when Jay leno greets his first guest and I'm drifting to sleep after the re-run of Intervention or Friends. It's very exciting and the only time it differs is when it's not cold outside and then you can just subtract the "starting a fire in the fireplace" part (unless ryan is out of town and i do it anyway).

These are my evenings for the most part. There's the occasional night of take out or having to resort to beer or a mixed drink and rarely a night of pokeno or bunco with the ladies. But rest assured, I am fat, happy and lazier than can be. And then comes the glorious Saturday evening/Sunday morning in the spring where I have to say to myself "spring forward, fall back" to remember which way to set my alarm clock and behold....you wake up tired as hell and hating life, grumpy and griping all day. But then what happens? You step outside at 5:30p on that first Monday and realize, "holy crap? is it not 5 yet?" oh no, my friend, its DAYLIGHT SAVINGS! You can work until seven like I did yesterday and amazingly still have enough sunlight when you get home to mow the yard!!!!!

It's nuts. I'm a completely different person. I'm cooking healthier, the dishes rarely fill up the sink or cover the coffee table, my work clothes are not piling up on the floor and I seriously only had one glass of wine last night....and chardonnay of all things!!!

Life is as it should be. They say that Daylight Savings saves all kinds of money in electricity bills across the country and thats dandy but I could care less. I'm a new me people! (Of course, I'll go back into full hibernation in October).

Thanks D.S.!!

At the starting line

Ok so I wrote an entire blog and google was apparently too busy to post it...so here we are, at the starting line. Ironic because that is the subject of this blog that is oh-so-difficult to post.

Recently I discovered that I don't have a hobby. There are things I'm interested in, but being the competitive soul that I am, if a friend is currently occupying that hobby, I keep going.

So this is where you come in. I need suggestions or hobbies to try. I'll try anything once (with the exception of a life threatening event) and I'm hoping one will stick. Think of it as "the bachelorette" and my potential bachelors are different hobbies. (ok, thats cheesy but i love reality tv!)

I'll you know how my search for a hobby is going, thanks in advance!

The Flip Side of the Pillow

Well, "the other side of the pillow" was taken so I'll just go with back side for now, haha.

To be honest, I have no idea what I'm doing and no idea if I'll even share this but sometimes I have a thought so bizarre, so stupid that I don't even want to pick up the phone and share it. I can share it here and pretend no one knows.

If you enjoy it, great...if not, tough.