I was born in the 80s, 1980 to be exact, and I've considered myself an 80s kid. The 80s were the beginning of my life and will always be my starting point. I always thought that 80s either referred to a decade of my beginning or an age of the elderly.
Today, I read something that made me appreciate a completely different 80s. And instead of being a time in life when one is aging and nearing the end, I learned today that it can also be a new beginning.
This is from www.dallasnews.com and I hope it makes you smile too.
Vickie McKillip of Carrollton: The Ancient Marriager
12:00 AM CDT on Sunday, April 27, 2008
This wedding certainly broke a lot of time-honored traditions. Nobody wrote on the getaway car. No hopeful bridesmaid caught the bouquet. There was definitely no dancing. But the bride did wear white. And gray. And her dress was pretty, too.
Two families became inextricably joined on April 19 when my father-in-law, Jim McKillip, married Elvera Long and began a new chapter in his life. At age 82.
Whirlwind romance is not a phrase usually associated with an octogenarian, but that fact doesn't seem to bother Jim. Although their first conversation consisted of emphatic declarations about their intentions to remain single, it quickly became apparent that God had other plans for the two of them. Plans even they had a hard time believing.
They met in a grief recovery program at their church; each had been in decades-long marriages that ended when debilitating illnesses took the lives of their spouses. Before long, much to their surprise, they began a short, but intense, courtship that culminated in a ring and a wedding date. When they asked their young preacher to perform the ceremony (his first), he posed the question all ministers should ask engaged couples: What about marriage counseling? Smiling broadly, they agreed that they would provide any counseling he might need based on lessons learned from their combined 120 years of marital history.
I can't deny that eyebrows were raised when Jim first mentioned his new girlfriend. And jaws dropped when he announced that their feelings were at a "simmer, on the way to a full boil." But then we met this very soft-spoken, dignified grandmother, a true Southern beauty, and our doubts faded. Soon, we stopped dwelling on the strangeness of it all and began focusing on all the weird but wonderful twists life was throwing our way.
Advances in geriatric health care in recent years have resulted in longer, healthier lives for older Americans. And in increasing numbers, they are electing not to lead those lives alone. Marriage in the golden years is becoming more and more common, particularly among those who, like Jim and Elvera, have previously been in long, happy marriages that they would like to replicate.
There have been a few surreal moments along the way. They didn't want a civil ceremony in front of a justice of the peace, so a small wedding that would accommodate the extended family members – all 100 of them – had to be planned and executed.
It dawned cloudless and hot, but breezy. Kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews and cousins scurried around in varying degrees of hurried distress, determined to honor the unlikely but happy couple. Jim and Elvera, though, remained completely unflappable, holding hands and sipping coffee among the dozens of daisies, hundreds of lemons and limes (for centerpieces), and gauzy gold material that refused to stay attractively arranged on the reception tables. At 5 p.m., all eyes were on the bride as she walked slowly down the backyard steps and into her new life as a McKillip. At age 78.
But again, throwing tradition aside, there were very few tears shed: Seeing that love and commitment are alive and well, even when knees are creaky or the eyesight is going, is an unimaginably joyful event for those who witness it.
Current societal trends indicate that the divorce rate continues to hover between 40 and 50 percent, a figure that can turn even the most determined romantics into cynical doubters. But then there are the Jims and the Elveras among us, who not only loved their first spouses long and well, but love the idea of marriage so much that they are willing and eager to commit to the ancient institution again. What an honor it was to be a part of such a glorious, unlikely event. And how fervently we hope for many more years of happiness for both of them.
Vickie McKillip of Carrollton is an administrative assistant at her church and a Community Voices volunteer columnist. Her e-mail address is rvmckillip@verizon.net.
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