Register This....

I'm at the age of transition. Friends have pretty much stopped graduating and are now transitioning into promotions, first houses, engagements, marriages and children.

And then there's me.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my life. But I can't help but feel like it doesn't measure up to others standards because I seem to be standing still in a world of movement. It seems that my summer months are measured by the events of celebration for my friends. I relate my plans for the month with what wedding, shower, housewarming or other party I'm attending.

While I love celebrating anyone and everyone, I will be the first to admit that I'm getting a little tired of the questions/statements:

"when is it going to be your turn?" (seriously, do you think i have the answer to that?)
"you're next!" (F-off)
"are you jealous?" (now this one might produce a slap if stated again"

and my favorite, stated to me this past September:

"you know, honey, if you don't know where it's going after two years, it's not going anywhere" (if she didn't look exactly like the 2 pigs fighting in a blanket reference from Steel Magnolias, the cops would've been called)

I know that these questions aren't intended to upset my stomach or cause me to grit my teeth and escape as quickly as possible but regardless, these are moments of pure stupidity.

The way I see it, every boss, homeowner, fiance, spouse or parent has, at one time in their life, been in my shoes. Why then, do they forget the way they felt in my shoes and throw away any regard for others feelings?

British novelists refer us as "singletons" and Carrie Bradshaw illustrated the miles that separate the single from the married. There are books, columns, movies, etc explaining how stupid you look when you become the person who asks the above questions.

This past weekend, while at yet another wedding, I was once again asked, "So, do you think you guys will get married soon?" The non-sober me responded without skipping a beat and said, "Nah, I don't care about getting married. I'm just hoping he'll knock me up soon. IN MY BELLY BABY, GET IN MY BELLY."

um...yeah. Not exactly the proudest moment in my life and it was definitely encouraged by the six adult beverages that I'd consumed. But I have to say...the look on their faces of confusion, shock, amusement and pity....well, it was priceless. And I think I'll use it as my token response when provoked (minus the "in my belly" part).

Understand this people, just because I do not have an open registry at Bed, Bath and Beyond or other such stores, I am not less of a person, less accomplished or less happy in my life. BELIEVE ME...If I have news to report, I will be sure that you know about it.

So when you feel the urge to ask me those 'when are you transitioning' questions....why dont you instead try asing me about my dog, my cat, my cooking, my gardening, Texas Longhorns, the weather, my job, my friends, my family, or any of the other great aspects of my life.

Thanks.