on the outside looking in...or is it the other way around?

So it's not a new thing that I rant about people asking me "so...when ya gonna get hitched?" And I've always wanted to scream at them because I do want to get married and have kids. So their asking me prompts an internal rant of "i don't know, you twit, when I propose to someone or someone proposes to me and there is a YES answer, I'll be sure and let you know. Until then, shut your face and get me another margarita." But, maturely, I just smile and say "oh...i'll let ya know!" *insert fake laugh here*

Recently, I've been sick and am on ridiculous amounts of antibiotics. One of which is a steroid and I think it's affecting me more than I realize (or at least I choose to blame my actions and the following rant on it). I constantly look for cheap real estate to buy in hopes of one day flipping a house, I posted an ad for my planning services on craigslist (what?) and I've completely redirected my thoughts/feelings on the whole marriage issue.

Here's what I believe to be true (feel free to correct me):

~When I hear things about marriage these days, usually I hear "Marriage is Hard" "Marriage is Work" "The First Year is the Hardest" etc etc (ooh, sign me up!)
~When I counted out my top 10 happiest marriages, 8 of them are second marriages.(so should my first marriage be for money, love, real estate?? anyone know any 80yr olds with a heart condition?)
~I don't know anyone who has been married less than 5 years without kids who are in, what I would consider to be, a happy marriage (please don't be offended if you have been married less than 5 years, this is just me ranting)
~I know more divorced couples with kids than married couples with kids and of those divorced couples, all of them have a child less than 6 years old. (breaks my heart)
~The most interesting shows, books, movies these days tend to involve someone breaking a marriage vow...most of the time its the "i promise to be true to you and only to you."
~I hear so much about infidelity lately that it scares me.
~I, myself, am a product of a blended family.

I could go on and on with wierd facts and figures that I've collected in my wierd littel brain. But the main thing is....there are very few happily married couples out there, even happily married newlyweds! I don't know if thats supposed to scare me away from getting married one day or make me yearn that much more to be one of the happy ones.

Because, I'll be completely honest, I want nothing more than to be a Mom one day. I want to teach them things and take them places and take care of them when they are sick (i recently learned that not all moms do that last one-shame on you!) and watch them grow. I want to share my life with someone who wants to wake up to me in the morning and talk about the weather when we lose our teeth and our kids have moved on. I have no problem working at any issue...in fact, everything I put into my life and my relationships...I put my whole heart in it.

Is it too much to ask to have someone do the same?

My grandparents were married for almost 50 years. They started dating in grade school and breifly broke up at some point during high school or maybe college but lived happily ever after. I want what they had. I think we all do. But I can't help but wonder, if they were to meet in this century.....would a happily ever after still have happened?

We are a different generation playing by a different set of rules. I am constantly amazed at how many selfish people exist in the world today.

I have a quote up on my refridgerator that says "Just because we deserve the best doesn't mean we're entitled to it." I wish I could broadcast that on every tv, radio, billboard and movie screen. People just don't understand how to give.

So for those of you who are lucky enough to find the things that many of us are searching for...I commend you...I applaud you..and I'm jealous as hell of you. And all I ask is that you maintain your title of "happily married couple" for the sake of our pathetic hopes that one day we can join you. Next time he doesn't load the dishwasher or she falls asleep too soon, let it go and cherish the things that they DO, not what they DONT DO.

And for those of you who don't fit into this category...I have two words for you. SHUT UP. You took your vows, you made your promises and now it's time to live up to those. I'm tired of hearing you gripe about money, kids, gas, houses, taxes, jobs, romance, family. Do you see what you have next to you? At one time in your life, you appreciated and respected that person....where is that appreciation now? You can't do anything about the other person, but you can do something about yourself. Be the spouse that you want to be and I would tend to think that they will too.

So until you all can start behaving better and being something that I want to be, I'm be here in my selfish, non married life waiting.....for what? I'll let ya know.