Life in balance

I'm no health food expert.  I don't have a magic pill/potion/drink that makes you healthy without putting in any effort.  I don't have any certification or credentials that should make you believe anything I say.  What I do have is a lot of family members with opinions (all who love to read and research) and I have friends on all ends of the "health" spectrum.

I've always bounced around when it comes to weight and "size."  I've never considered myself as someone others would reference as healthy but I don't think I've been in the unhealthy category either.  I'm a typical female in that I always want to be healthier and look better than I do. 

What makes me different than the average female is that I don't look in the mirror and see a version of myself that I dislike.  I'm a positive person and a silver lining seeker and I've always liked what I've seen in my reflection.

Why is this a bad thing?

Because it makes me rationalize every decision to have a piece of cheese, glass of wine, ice cream and anything other than exercising or making a healthy choice.

I've tried diets, juices, fad programs, supplements and crazy tactics.  Thankfully I never dedicated a tremendous amount of effort to anything other than happiness.  When I started dating my husband, I realize that it wasn't about how I looked but about how I felt.

I read and follow a lot of healthy people blogs.  I try to stay up to date in the battle of the GMO and what I should/shouldn't give my children.  I don't think there are enough hours in the day to know everything you need to know.  When I research and learn about healthy habits/lifestyle the one thing I'm always coming back to is balance. 

Ultimately there is no cure for laziness, there's no perfect solution that fits everyone's needs and everyone's lifestyle.  And think about it...if a pill existed that could make you fit and healthy without doing anything....would you really want to take it?  What the heck would you be taking?

My journey for a healthier lifestyle is all about balance.  I love essential oils and I've started drinkin NingXia Red daily.  I believe that they help keep my family happy and healthy.  I love cooking.  I believe that I can cook a healthier meal from scratch than I can from a box.  I love to be outside.  I would rather burn calories playing with my family than going to the gym.

BUT....

If my kids get really sick, I'll take them to the doctor and I'll leave there with a perscription.  I'll try oils for what I think is a reasonable amount of time and then I'm giving them modern medicine (hopefully we won't get to that point).   I love to cook for my family but I will always have a box of macaroni in my pantry and when my choice is to spend time with my kids or spend time alone in the kitchen, I will always choose my kids.  And when it comes to exercise, I love to spend time with my kids but I will happily choose to sacrifice burning a few calories to picking up my camera and capturing a precious moment or two.

It's about balance.  It's about making a healthy choice and understanding what is a sacrifice and what is not. 

There are plenty that are far past me in this journey for healthy and what I consider a sacrifice may  not be on their radar...and that's okay!  I challenge you to find the balance in your life whether it is financial, emotional, psychological, physical, spiritual or professional.  It's about the journey, the experience, the lessons and the memories.  I hope yours are filled with laughter and love.

Potty Training Testimony!

I should start off by saying I'd accepted the fact that my 3.5yr old was going to graduate in diapers.  I rationalized by saying to myself "at least she won't graduate pregnant" (depends=chastity belt?).  Potty training was a LOOOONG journey for this family so this is a long post but hang in there because it has a happy ending!

When she was 18mo old she would come to me and say "pee pee" and I was NOT ready for potty training, plus I thought there was no way SHE was ready.  Regardless, I ordered supplies: disposable potty liners for non-home pottys, toilet seat with potty seat attachment (I was not doing a portable potty...gross), step stool for getting on/off the potty and washing hands, potty training book, sticker chart, etc.  Talked to my pediatrician who said to wait until she was old enough to pull her pants up/down so we decided to wait.  The summer after she was 2 we started talking about the potty.

We started changing her diapers in the bathroom, talking about where our pee-pees and poo-poos go and bought big girl panties.

She was also at daycare and they requested pull ups and said she'd potty train with all of the other kids as she was moving up in classrooms.

She did great at school, very few accidents.  Home was a different story.  She HATED the potty.

I did the 3 day potty training during a break from school.  It turned into 5-day before we quit.  Basically they go nude from the waist down so they learn what accidents feel like and start to become aware of what is happening.  Well my kiddo could care less!  She'd pee/poop on the floor and either point it out like it was no big deal or just leave it and keep playing.  She started whining and saying she wanted her diapers, she didn't want to be a big girl, she was still a baby, etc.  (Side note: I should mention that I was 4 months pregnant at this time).

Around November she started regressing at school and EVERY DAY would come home with multiple soiled outfits from school.  We were about to put our house in the market and I was 6 months pregnant and having to deal with this at the end of the work day was too much.   I'd heard about regression with potty training whenever life changes and we were about to move, our dog passed away and a new baby was on the way so this momma said "Forget it!"  We will worry about it when all of these things are behind us.

Fast forward to spring.  New house, new dog, new baby brother and she's now 3.  I was home on maternity and we talked about the potty alot.  All of our friends/family knew to encourage it.  Our neighbors had a 3yr old as well and he was fully potty trained.  She would occassionally pee in the potty but only for candy and only after a negotiation and 30 min sitting there...she HATED the potty.  She'd have dirty diapers around her friends and not care, even when they said "whats that smell?"

Summer and now I'm into oils.  I'd read that peppermint oil was good for constipation (I drop in the potty) and I shared this with my husband (Side Note:  peppermint oil is also good to help you breathe again when someone spends some quality time in the loo).  We get home from a weekend trip and he decides to take her potty.  I gave him the "voodoo oil" and told him 1 drop.  She pee pees in the potty and she washes her hands.  I'm in the other room and she runs in naked from the waist down asking where Daddy is and it turns out she pooped in the potty after he left her.  "maybe it was a coincidence, maybe it was the oils...either way who cares Woohoo!"

We start the potty training process with a LOT of accidents...EVERYWHERE.  She was embarassed, didn't want anyone to see, ashamed, etc.  I started applying 1 drop of Stress Away and 1 drop of valor on my index finger and rubbing them on her wrists.

The days I forgot...we had hidden accidents...GROSS.  The days I remembered she wanted to show me what was in the potty...oh great, haha.  When she started showing pride in the potty I switched to just Valor.  She never had a poop accident, THANKFULLY, and a month later we only have diapers for the baby...WOOHOO!!!

I use Valor when she is having a fussy day/tantrum, when we're going some place she doesn't want to go, when we're about to have a playdate.

This momma loves some VALOR!!!

Superwoman!

If you're my friend on facebook you've already heard this story, but it's a big enough deal for me to post it twice.  This is my testimony on how Stress Away helped me in a REALLY stressful situation.  I use this EO on myself when my baby is teething or when my daughter is being 3, haha.  I apologize in advance for the long post but I tell long stories as I really want you to "feel my pain."

Picture this.  You're a mom of a 3.5yr old, a 3 month old (who doesn't like their carseat) and a dog who suffers from seperation anxiety/throws tantrums (like ripping the curtains off the wall) when he's left alone.  You plan out the day:

1. get all 2 legged and 4 legged children changed, pottied/diapered, fed and have a toy for the car.
2. get diaper bag ready for 3 mo old and for newly potty trained/nervous in public restroom 3.5yr old
3. load the car with 3 tubs of clothes to take to consignment store
4. get coffee (should've been #1)
5. get items 1-4 done by 9am so you're not all in the car when it's hot outside.

I accomplish items 1-5 beautifully and we all are in the car.  I attempt to start the car and it won't start.  I hear a few clicks and I roll the windows down to hear again. "Oh no....no no no...come on...puhleeeeeeze"  Nope.  Lights don't even turn on.  Ok...plan.  Step 1...APPLY STRESS AWAY.  One drop on my wrists and rub together like perfume, rub the excess under/behind my ears.  Step 2...call husband.

I should mention that we have a 4 car garage.  I know...it's excessive but whenever I get pregnant my husband buys an old car.  I should also mention that I have an irrational fear of jumper cables as I was burned when trying to start a sea doo in high school.  Leak in fuel injection system+spark from battery when cables were attached=fire and me rushed to the ER with 1st, 2nd, 3rd degree burns on hands, face, neck.  (I didn't have eyebrows, lashes or nose hair for awhile)

Ok, so I call husband (who was 45 min away) and he explains where a spare battery is in the garage.  WHAT!?  I don't even know how to check the oil.  I follow instructions and manage to hook up the car battery to spare battery without freaking out....shaking, yes...but i did it.  Keep in mind it had just rained, it was comfortable temp in the garage and the windows were down so my kiddos were fine and asking me a gazillion questions.  

It didn't work.  It charged enough for the headlights to come on but thats it.

I turned on the battery operated fan attached to the 3mo old carseat as he was starting to remind me that he hates his carseat.

Husband suggests putting the Tahoe in neutral and pushing it into the driveway.  I'll give you a moment to stop laughing.  Husband offers to come home and I said, no...I'm going to figure this out.

Yeah, that didn't happen.  I called 2 neighbors to see if their husbands were home and one was on his way, SCORE!

In the meantime, I try again with the jumper cables and realize they can reach to husband's camaro parked next to me.  I try to start the car again...nope.  I ask husband, "isnt' the other car supposed to be on?"  he said it doesn't have to be.  Neighbor arrives and we take the kids out of the car and she takes them inside (his camaro has a different engine in it and its SOOO loud).   And he suggests turning the camaro on (like I said in the first place...duh).

It starts!!!!  Holy moly I AM AMAZING!!!!  I thank neighbor profusely, load everyone back up in the car and start the day.  Shockingly this whole process only took a little over a half hour and I was able to go about my day.

I kept giving my husband the opportunity to say what an amazing wife/mom I am as I think most women would say, "honey, you better come fix my car!"  I think I got a high-five later, haha.  It's ok, I constantly remind him that he married a superhero.

Stress Away is one of my favorites and to me it smells like vanilla.

If you're my friend on facebook you've already heard this story, but it's a big enough deal for me to post it twice.

Picture this.  You're a mom of a 3.5yr old, a 3 month old (who doesn't like their carseat) and a dog who suffers from seperation anxiety/throws tantrums (like ripping the curtains off the wall) when he's left alone.  You plan out the day:

1. get all 2 legged and 4 legged children changed, pottied/diapered, fed and have a toy for the car.
2. get diaper bag ready for 3 mo old and for newly

Post Partum/Mommy Pain Testimony

I think I'm like a lot of moms in that I tend to put myself last.  Not that I want it to be that way, but I think when you become a mom you experience guilt and worry like never before.  Like if I take time to go do something for myself I'm somehow a bad mom.

Well, this second testimony is out of order for me but I wanted to share it early!  I'll be honest, I didn't apply oils to myself very often in the beginning because 1) I never had time  2) I didn't want to waste the oils on myself  3) I was too busy with "life" to think about what I needed help with.

When my son was about 6 weeks old I developed this awful pain in my right shoulder.  I've never been someone who got "knots" anywhere and whenever I've gotten a massage it's been purely for relaxation and pampering, never for an ailment, etc.

Husband gave me a gift certificate for a spa 2 Christmases ago and I still hadn't used it.  This pain in my shoulder was hurting BAD...at dinner I just put my head down on the table one night in pain.  He started rubbing my shoulder and found a ton of knots!!!  I tried ice, heating pads, hot showers, tennis ball between me and the doorframe, husband working them out nightly but nothing seemed to be working.  I finally called the spa and said I need help.  They recommended a deep tissue massage focused on that area.  I'd never had one and heard that they hurt but at this point I was willing to try anything.

I figured the knots were coming from feeding my little one and always holding him more with my right arm + looking down, etc.

I went for my 90 minute deep tissue massage with 60 of those minutes dedicated to my shoulders and specifically my right one.  I was prepared for it to hurt and focused on it as "good pain."  The gal was pushing on my shoulder with her elbow and hands and stretching my arms all over.  She said I had way more knots than she expected but none of them were huge, just a ton.  I learned that you have to apply direct pressure rather than rub and the knot should release.

The massage ended and I felt good (any mom will tell you 90 min in a quiet dark room will make them feel good in itself!) but I wasn't in pain....when she elbowed my rear end a few times that hurt but nothing really hurt my shoulder as bad as the pain normally does.  I went home expecting this to be one of those "feel worse before it gets better" things.  The next day I was in pain EVERYWHERE but my shoulder felt the same and I kept thinking, "why doesn't it hurt worse?"  I felt like I had bone bruises on other parts of my back, my butt hurt and my legs were sore but my shoulders had no change.  I called the spa and they said to give it a few more days.  Nope.  Everything else got better and no change in the shoulder.  Called back and they said I must have a severe case and they recommended weekly deep tissue massagess....WEEKLY???  Seriously?  It took me over 2 years to use this gift certificate and you think my schedule has now opened up MORE since I had a second child?  Fat chance.

I'd had my oils for a several weeks at this point and never used them on myself really (other than diffusing).  I had a rollerball on my Panaway oil because I'd been using it on my husband's back and one night after a few tears he suggested he try it on me....duh!!  He rolled it on my shoulder before I went to bed and I smelled like toothpaste/mint gum.  I woke up the next morning and I was AMAZED!!!  I could move my neck and arm (both of which had been so bad I had limited range of motion) and it felt GREAT!!  I felt so stupid for not trying it earlier.  I was so productive that day that my shoulder was especially angry that night and Panaway again was my relief!!  There was no "maybe it was the oils" with this one!!!

Now, I should say that I still have these knots.  I haven't tried anything else on them or gotten another massage because I'm a mom and haven't dedicated the time....BUT...when the pain flares up I FINALLY have something that gives me relief.  And I smell great!

Baby Testimony w/oils Cradle Cap, Sleep and Teething

 
So the reason I found my blog again was because I wanted to document my journey to a healthier lifestyle and being a better parent.  Shockingly, in our previous house I had very few framed photos of anyone and until about a week ago I actually didn't own a single wedding photo from our wedding!!  (Side note: our daughter was 9 months old when we got married and it was in December so her first Christmas and life took priority.  Our photographers were amazing and we've already paid for a few photo books/prints we just have yet to pick out what we want!  Thankfully an online photo printing shop had a promo for some free prints so I took advantage and we now have 2 wedding photos framed, lol).   I've been trying to frame pictures of our kids, pets, family, us and am making progress with all of these goals...yay me!

N-E-way....the main reason I looked up oils was for my kiddos and brand new baby.  I ordered a "kit" and I felt like I just fell into the sucker sales pitch trap but it really was the best deal and I got all of the most frequently used oils by the "cool kids" plus a diffuser and samples (I didn't know what a diffuser was, lol).

I'd done more research about what oils to start with (**my sponsor sent me a reference guide for signing up and I now continue this practice so if you're considering oils, let me know!) both in our FB group and with my reference guide and I knew to start small.  I'd ordered a few oils on top of my kit to get the free oil promotion that month (and because I'm all about free stuff) and one was an oil that was recommended to help the cradle cap I mentioned in a previous post. (melrose)

With the first bath I added 1 drop of Melrose to my coconut oil and for the first time in his 4 weeks of age, after his bath there were no gross flaky things on his head!!!  My thought was... "maybe it was the oil, maybe I've used coconut enough times to get rid of it, maybe it was luck"  regardless of the reason, I didn't care because I had a baby with a normal looking scalp!

He was 4 weeks and would eat at 11p-3a-7a.  I only used the melrose or melealeuca on his head during shampoos and didn't apply anything else to him for a week because I was nervous.  I diffused Peace & Calming after a few days and was shocked as my kids took a nap AT THE SAME TIME and FOR MORE THAN 20 MIN I HAD ME TIME!!!!

The beginning of week 6 for my little one I put lavender on his big toes for the first time.  HE SLEPT THRU THE NIGHT...I woke up i a panic and immediately checked to see if he was breathing...yup, we're good and again thought "maybe it was the lavender, maybe it is a miracle, maybe he's the best baby ever, maybe it's a fluke"  and I don't care I'm doing again!  The only times he hasn't slept thru the night since were when we were transitioning him from cradle in our room to crib in his room and I was also transitioning him out of a swaddle blanket.  (remember, he's almost 5 months now).

Fast forward to week 9.  My good baby is suddenly a HANDFUL!  Whiny, needy, fussy, drooling so much that we are changing outfits several times a day and trying to eat his hand.  What the??  Yep, you guessed it...teething....at 9 WEEKS!  (Side note: my first didn't teeth until month 7 and only had 1 tooth at her first b-day so I was not expecting this at all).   It was around 7pm, hubby was somewhere (don't remember) and it was just me and the kids and the baby was FREAKING OUT.  My 3.5yr old was now crying because her ears hurt from the baby crying.  I had the baby tylenol in my had ready to give him some and something inside me stopped and said, "if you're going to give these oils a try, you have to give them a chance."  So I said...ok, I'll try this and I'll give it 5 min (lol) if he's still crying I'm going to meds.  I put lavender on his toes, mixed it with coconut and put it on his earlobes and then held the open bottle between us to smell as I rocked him and we both cried.   Within 1 minute he stopped crying all together and in less than 5 he was ASLEEP!!!!  I freaked out in both happy and paranoid ways and thought "maybe it was the lavender, maybe he finally tired himself out to fall asleep" either way I didn't care.

As his teething has progressed and he's getting close to actually cutting his first tooth (and I've done more research on oils) I've made my own teething cream and I use 1tbsp coconut oil for several (4-5) drops of thieves and put that directly on his gums with my finger or I put it on a cold wet washcloth for him to gnaw on.  I also will apply copaiba neat (straight) on his gums as an alternative.

I was lucky that my first didn't have teething issues but it's definitely different this time around and I'm not a fan of anything that has the risk to numb their throat/tongue or actually medicate/sedate them.  I'm so thankful that I found Young Living.

I should also mention that my skeptical husband, who refers to my oils as "voodoo oils" has said to me multiple times, "ok, I'm ready for you to put the voodoo oils on him"  haha!

These are the actual YL lavender fields, so pretty!

Catch phrase...Essential Oils

So, unless you've been living under a rock you've probably heard people talking about Essential Oils.  It seems to be the new thing the cool kids are doing.  I also drank the punch of all things Essential Oils (will call them EO from this point) and I wanted to document my journey and learning curve in this oily adventure.

I've been using EOs for almost 4 months now, I started just a few weeks after my son was born.   To avoid being a book, I'll try to keep this post focused on why I started looking into EOs and why I went the direction I did.

I've always loved to make stuff but I'm creatively challenged...this makes being a teacher difficult, thankfully Pinterest exists.  Two years ago I found a recipe to make your own bug spray and I bought my first bottle of Lavender EO for this.   Friends loved this for their kiddos and I shared the recipe a gazillion times.

Well, one of my new neighbors was making homemade body scrub for friends and asked if I had any EOs she could borrow.  I let her borrow my lavender and I noticed it didn't smell the same as it did when I'd first gotten it.  I started to research this and learned alot...let me bullet point some interesting things I learned:

• the FDA doesn't regulate Essential Oils.  
• an oil can say 100% pure on it as long as it has 5% essential oil in the bottle!!  (this means it has pure oil and is diluted in the bottle but the company doesn't have to list what it's diluted with!)
• some EOs have "for external use only" type of warnings on the label
• as with other "organic" "natural" type of products, there is no regulation of these type of labels and the companies can basically put what they want on there.  This is true for so many products on the market...do your research!
•  many EOs have added fragrances to them (can contribute to allergic or site reactions..or in my case, headaches!)...oh, and they don't have to list this on the label

So, at this point I have a 3 week old and have read about the calming effect of EOs on babies...after this, you can bet I'm not going anywhere near them until a long convo with my pediatrician!

This week 3 of my son's life and he's going on his 2nd week of cradle cap.  My daughter had cradle cap and we were able to use the little hospital comb and massage the baby shampoo and it was manageable.  Well...not the case for this boy.  I asked for help in a FB mom's group, asked friends and family and tried everything:  hospital+shampoo (got the top layer off only), olive oil (just made it greasy), head and shoulders (nothing), baking soda paste (nope) and then I read about coconut oil.  I asked my neighbor and she is in love with coconut oil and let me borrow some....BAM!  Not only did the flakes come off but now my newborn smelled like a pina colada...bonus!  Unfortunately, it came back but the coconut oil helped get it off.

I talked to a friend of mine who'd been using EOs and has 3 kids and she encouraged me to research and she'd answer what questions I had....and the obsession began.  I looked up the bottle I was used to purchasing, the MLM brands I'd heard of and found several bloggers did comparisons.   I read and read for a week and a half (this replaced my reality TV obsession and it's what I did during feedings and while both kids napped).  I ended up going with a company called Young Living.

Before I dive into this, let me first say I am NOT marketing against any other company...I'm sure they all have their great parts, I'm just listing the reasons why I chose the company Young Living.

• I'd seen friends have success with it (as elementary as that sounds, word of mouth is very important to me...what my friends recommend impact my purchases of baby gear, recipes I cook, vacation spots I travel to, doctors I choose, restaurants I try, places we go, gifts I give, etc)
• You can visit their farms.  They have a "seed to seal" guarantee which means they pick the seeds, plant the seeds, grow them, harvest them, distill them, bottle them and you are welcome to visit and see any part or all of this process.  Open door policies are cool.
• They've been in business for more than 10 years (I don't doubt the validity of new companies but I like to give a company enough time to see if people get mad at them and see how it's all handled...drama queen in me?  maybe)
• I don't have to leave my house to get it (this goes along with my obsession with Amazon Mom/Prime and how I can shop in my pjs)
• I read about success with cancer and Frankincense (had no clue what that was other than it was brought to sweet baby Jesus).  I basically googled Frankincense and cancer and found a dr with the University of Oklahoma (gasp) doing research and having success fighting cancer with this and it specifically lists the YL Frankincense.  Cancer sucks...it's in my family...anything showing progress with this scores MAJOR points for me.
• It is a MLM (multi level marketing) which initially made me want to walk away.  (Side note: I've been a "rep" for a beauty product MLM and I loved their makeup/skin care, etc BUT you had to buy several hundred dollars worth of products every quarter in order to maintain your "rep" status.  And it was always the new season stuff...seriously...what am I going to do with eyeshadow set that is bright green and royal blue?  Maybe if I'd been able to pick how I was going to spend my $...maybe..anyway I never made any $, I did get a discount on what I wanted but I ended up spending a FORTUNE and had a TON of products I didn't know what to do with...finally ended up throwing them away...sad face).  Anyhow, when I found this out I asked a LOT of questions to the gal I knew and here's why it's ok.  1) you don't sell anything.  2) you get 24% off.   3) the only requirement to keep your discount is spending $50/year.   4) you don't HAVE to buy anything specific (no preset packages like my previous MLM)..you spend that $50 on what you want, when you want it.  5) you don't do the "parties"  candle, makeup, bag, food, jewelry etc..(i.e. you don't have to monopolize your friends/facebook/coworkers etc and be "that girl").  There IS a business side to it and plenty of people make money with (basically you get a check if you refer a friend...so if you do have someone who drinks the punch like you did, you want them to list you as your referral).
• the drama that I mentioned in a previous bullet, I found a lot of negativity being spewed toward people in the company.  Saw another company and strong competitor was formed from previous employees and has almost identical names for their products (a lawsuit was involved).  People were questioning the religious beliefs of the founders.  I found all of this interesting and it didn't bother me because as a mom, what I was looking for were lawsuits against the company for false claims, damages, injuries, etc.  Didn't find that.  It did make me feel better to know that it is a company with Christian founders/leaders but that had nothing to do with my decision.  Because lets be honest, I have no idea who founded the products I buy for my kids or what their religious affiliation is (Chicco, Homedics, Pampers, Huggies, Enfamil, Carter's, Fisher Price, Baby Jogger, etc).  This did, however, entertain me for awhile and made me realize that people attack each other's character when they can't attack "what they're selling."
• my pediatrician.  My pedi is the type who will always give me the "home remedy" or "wives tale" to try and also write me a prescription for when those don't work (his words), haha.  I asked him about how he feels about EOs.  He told me he gets approached by parents all the time trying to "enlighten him" on their favorite stuff and he always looks into it.  He asked, "are they the ones with the nutrition labels on them?"  I didn't know the answer.  He told me, I've talked to a lot of holistic doctors and read a lot and if you're going to pick someone, stay away from the ones that say "for external use only" BECAUSE children's skin is so soft, they absorb things easily.  Even if you're only applying it externally, it will absorb internally.  With other baby products, they are regulated but since these aren't that's what I would look for.  Also, if it has a nutrition label or says "supplement" usually both, it's met the requirements for food (ingesting) but that is for adults NOT the kids.  His stance on the use of EOs is that he thinks they are great for mood, temperament, staying healthy, sleep, emotional needs, etc.  However, when someone is sick....and not just has some annoying symptoms,  he chooses modern medicine.  I agreed.  I left with a promise not to put oils IN my kids but ON my kids and he said always diffuse or apply feet first and then maybe wrists, tummies, etc but to use a tiny amount of oil and a large amount of judgement and common sense.

I'm sure there are more scientific,  important and legit reasons that I should've researched and maybe others do...this is not to compete with those but just a list of reasons I felt good choosing YL.   I took a breath, signed up, my friend put me in a private FB group where I could ask questions or search for remedies and just like trying a new recipe, I went in skeptical/cautious/hopeful.

As I'm writing this 4 months in I already have a lot of success stories and "maybe it was the oils, maybe it was luck" and I'll post them separately.

Oh, and my MIL called me a hippie and told me I better not stop shaving my legs...

I am not a hippie...

So since having my youngest I've gotten into a healthier kick.  Maybe it's because I'm trying to lose baby weight, maybe it's because I'm determined to do it right the second time around when it comes to parenting or maybe it's because I have an amazing new kitchen and love spending time in it!  Regardless, I one of my neighbors referred to me the other day as someone who eats/cooks healthy!  I had to pause and give that statement the true moment it deserves.  (And I did not inform her that I was eating an oreo while on the phone with her...oops).

Anyhow, since becoming a family of 4 I've really focused on providing my kids with healthier alternatives that don't taste like cardboard and trying my best to carry that mindset into other avenues.  I've fallen in love with essential oils and have seen amazing results in just a few short months.  The whole reason I remembered about this blog is because I've been wanting to document some of my journey with oils as well!

My 3.5 yr old loves to cook and we've had fun trying new healthier recipes.  Once school starts the experimentation will be at a minimum so I'm trying a lot over the summer to know which ones are keepers.  During this process I made my first absolute fail in cooking...so bad we didn't finish the meal, threw it away and busted out with some ramen....ugh.  Mulligan?

I realize that so much of this is trial and error and with any new recipe, you're taking a leap of faith on whether or not you'll like it (cooking metaphor for life??  hmmmm).  I digress.

My current list of go-to's for healthier eating comes from www.100daysofrealfood.com

I found this website when I was searching for healthy toddler meals as our new daycare has me bring lunches for my 3.5yr old.  I thought they might label me "that mom" if I only ever sent her with quesadillas, grilled cheese, pasta, etc.  She has a 1 week meal plan for every season complete with a shopping list and prices.  I don't go as far as she does and make everything from scratch but I'm taking baby steps.

So far I highly recommend the Granola, Caprese pasta salad, and Carnitas.  I had some issues with the yeast I used when making the pizza pockets and that was my awful failed meal.  Plus, that was the one that was hard for me to have the little one help with so I'm going to move forward and accept failure on that one.

I also made an amazing Iced Lemon Pound Cake that tastes just like the one from Starbucks and while not labeled healthy...It's a much healthier version.  I pinned the recipe for that one for sure.

The lemon pound cake actually is made with Lemon essential oils in it rather than rind!

Oh wait...I have a blog too..what was it called?

So I forgot I had a blog.   I had to go thru all of the forgot password, forgot associated email, forgot password to old email and now I'm here.

Spent the last few minutes reading thru my older posts and it's amazing how life has just kept happening.  2 kids, a different house and 2 different jobs later and I'm still feeling blessed.  I look forward to catching up.

Perspective

I read this morning about a family I don't even know who is going thru the most tremendous loss.  This family lost their 8 month old son after finding out he had a brain tumor less than a month ago.

I'm reading the words written by his parents and am humbled by the strength, faith and perspective they have found while dealing with the most difficult thing that I can imagine.  I can barely see my computer screen as I wipe the tears away and can barely see my sweet angel who is only half the age of the little boy.  I'm amazed at how this family was able to put the sadness aside and truly celebrate and love the lord and their family during the last few weeks of his life.  I listen to the mozart from her play mat as the batteries are dying and have a hard time even typing that word...dying.

It's something that was never even on my radar.  Maybe because I've always been an optimistic person, a silver lining seeker...but mostly because the fear of that word is bigger than anything else.  You read about people in their last moments who no longer fear death.  They talk about the excitement of meeting our maker and the peace of that world.  And selfishly, my love for everything in this world and the fear of not having enough days here is so great that I can't even bring myself to picture anything different.

So I've learned that I have absolutely no perspective on the bigger picture of life...I think that I'm hiding behind my fear of it and my bliss in my little bubble of optimism.  Regardless, I'm learning and growing and I pray that each of us have the number of bubble days that we want...even though I know that won't happen.

For today, I'm going to cuddle my little angel a little bit more, cry a little bit less and remember that my bubble wouldn't be so great and probably wouldn't even be here if I'd always been able to control everything.

Reality TV

I'm a reality TV junkie. The more of a train wreck a show is, the more I'm likely to watch it. Those close to me tend to roll their eyes when they hear me say that or they seem to be full of shame. I don't get it! Most of the reality TV shows that last are the ones that educate or celebrate people.

So you think you can dance-highlights dancers

American Idol-highlights vocal talent

America's Got Talent-highlights all kinds of talent

Biggest Loser-highlights weightloss/healthy lifestyle changes

Amazing Race-highlights healthy/unhealthy competition

Survivor/Bear Grills/etc-teaches survival skills

Discovery Channel-educates on different professions

HGTV-educates on home repair, clutter removal, property facelifts

MTV-educates on spoiled children, struggling children, music

Even The Bachelor/Bachelorette for the past 3 seasons has shown group dates where they are helping orphanages, etc. Hey...it's a start.

So I choose to escape my reality in a dose of someone else's. The majority of the ridiculous shows don't make it to a second season so America is weeding those out anyway. There are so many other choices out there that seem worse.

Full Circle, New Circle

I think the last time I had time to sit down and type was probably the date of my last post. I'll skip the updates because most of you don't know me personally and my life now has some incredible parts that I'd like to protect and keep private.

That being said, I feel like life has come full-circle and yet I've started a new one. When I say full-circle, its because the insanity and craziness of my past seems to have calmed down. I thought normal and calm would arrive when I matured, in my case, they showed up several years later.

This week I was contacted by a former "crazy" and they congratulated me on my happiness and wished me well. Seems like calm has arrived and they came full circle as well.

Last year, after turning 30, I was given a second chance at figuring myself out. This go-round, instead of focusing on what needed fixing, I focused on what needed celebrating! I made new friends, found new passions and had a new outlook on love and life. Love was the last thing I was looking for, I had planned to find several Mr. Right Nows to keep me entertained and feeling young. Instead, I found my Mr. Forever right under my nose!

Along with how I've lived my life, everything about our love has been out of order and I wouldn't have it any other way.

And even though I wouldn't change anything if given the chance to do it all over again, I think I would've liked to know a few things:

1) too many people tell you "Marriage is hard. Marriage is compromise. The first year is the worst." I kept hearing these words in the background of my life and used these phrases as an excuse and a reason to hang in there when times got tough. I seemed to forget the Marriage word and took this advice to mean that relationships are hard, relationships are compromise. But I've learned that relationships SHOULDN'T be hard! Relationships should be fun and dreamy and full of precious moments when you make memories together. I know too many people, including myself, who endure so much in a relationship trying so hard to make things work that we're blinding by the fact that it doesn't! I never knew that the right one just works, you don't have to try.

2) some people will just hold a grudge and there's nothing you can do. The past few years, everything has changed in my life. Because of this, there are growing pains. Unfortunately, as I was going thru career changes mostly, it meant that I wasn't able to be as much of a socialite as I'd been. This meant that I really angered some people that I adored without even trying to. It didn't matter how much I apologized, some people just wouldn't accept. I never knew that not showing up to a few events would mean losing friends.

3) I've always been a planner and found comfort in my plans. I hoped for the best, planned for the reality and thought about the worst...all to make sure that there would be no surprises. The sad thing is, I love surprises! But after years of bad surprises, I never wanted to feel that unprepared and helpless feeling so I planned for everything. This made me a great teacher but an annoying partner. I never knew that rolling with the punches and NOT expecting the unexpected could be filled with great surprises!

4) in a period of 16 months I have experienced every change, event, emotion, excitement than I expected in a decade. I never knew that in a little over a year, I could go from hopeless and confused to blissfully happy with everything I've ever dreamed.

My point is, you never know what will happen next. In my last post I talked about living in the present. Not looking at the past or toward the future but enjoying NOW. Looking back at that time, I'm so thankful that I did. I had no idea that I was about to get everything I'd always wanted. Your dreams are on their way, be who you hoped you'd be when they get to you.

A New Decade....

Hmm. Where to begin. The last time I blogged, my life was in the midst of turning upside down and inside out. Or maybe it was about to, I'm not sure...I lost track.

Anyhow, since we last talked I've lost a loved one, lost someone who I thought I was going to spend my life with, lost confidence in my students, caught my students in life threatening behavior, had to endure Madagascar hissing cockroaches in my room for 2 weeks, lost 20 pounds, lost my 20s and became a 30yr old, moved, turned down a proposal, was there for a birth, and many other interesting events. Needless to say, my life has been busy.

There were more overwhelming moments than I can count. I think, though, that because I had several major events occuring at one time, I was forced to suck it up and deal with it. And I'm proud to say thats what I did. I honestly have no idea how I made it thru the past 3 months.

But now, I'm settled into my new place, I'm reviewing my students for their state assessment in 2 weeks, I've found a light at the end of the tunnel that was one part of my job and I feel healthier and better about myself than I have in years.

Former BF ended our relationship in January and although it was difficult to understand at the time, I quickly understood, accepted and moved on. Unfortunately for the both of us, he later regretted his decision and that has made the past 2 months very challenging. I'm finally in a place where I realize it is in my best interest to move forward without him in my life....even as a friend. Hopefully I'll get past the sadness that is associated with that decision as I'd hoped to retain that friendship.

I wish I could sit here and spew motivational and inspirational thoughts about how gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. But at this point...I'm not looking forward, I'm not looking backwards...I'm here in the present and for this day, thats good enough for me.

I can say that I have never loved my friends and family so much. They supported me without smothering me, loved me without judging me and encouraged me without telling me lies. I am one lucky 30 year old.

Love

Loss my grandmother last night. I was somewhat prepared but I was prepared for a month from now, 2 weeks from now....I could put off those feelings because I still had time. I wasn't prepared for last night. Yesterday was supposed to be the beginning of the end....not the end.

She was the poster child for love...maternal, eternal, unconditional. She survived for over 10 years after she lost her greatest love. I would love to be there to see that reunion, what an amazing moment. That is the only thought that can get me thru.

I thought writing would help but it doesn't...nothing does. For once, I'm at a loss for words and I know words won't make it better. My only comfort is that the last thing I told her was "I love you Granny, I'll see you soon." and after a day of no words from her, she smiled and said "I love you sweetheart."

I'm sorry, have we met?

No, I didn't keel over. No, I didn't go into the witness protection program. And no, I didn't become like my 40 gazillion friends who are pregnant. Where have I been? WORKING.

Yes, my friends, I got a job. A real job. A job with a salary.

And I am....ex-wait for it----hausted.

I never realized the amount of time that teachers spend working. I knew that they worked from around 8 am to around 3pm but I assumed that they worked a little while after the students went home and that was it. I remember telling BF how nice it would be when I would be able to get home before 5pm traffic and be able to relax or cook! Sha...right! This has been the most exhausting 3-ish months of my life working 12-16hr days, nights and weekends.

All in all I'm surviving. I'm working hard, messing up, picking myself up again and doing my best to survive this first year.

Alas, I do have a little something to entertain you tonight.

I never realized how much I had to learn until I became a teacher. Here are my top 10 at this point:

10. Apparently I don't come across as a nice person. I've had 3 other staff members complain about me. Its true that when you work in an environment that is primarily female, you have to act like you did in a sorority. And be prepared for all of the drama that can come along with it. I find myself adding unneccesary smiley emoticons in my emails, adding a lot of "girl, those shoes re so cute" and talking in a higher pitch voice as to really add the gushy-friendly stuff. Ugh.

9. I was blessed as a child. My students are in a completely different place than I was, they are much more independent because they have to be. They come from single parent and/or low income households where they have to take up the slack at home. They don't have the luxury of having parents in careers where they can take a day off to come to their awards assembly or stay home with them when they are sick.

8. My wardrobe is under a microscope. I wore skirts 3 days in a row and one of my students asked if I'd gone shopping and said they liked my new style. They also said my old style was L-A-M-E. (I had a 2 week jeans pass!)

7. In business, I always knew it was a C.Y.A. game. In teaching, it's a survival skill. It's a team sport but it's an every man for himself situation most of the time.

6. The fact that every town has enacted a cell phone ban in school zones means I now only have 10-15 minutes to talk on the phone during my drive home. (I only talk on my cell phone during my commute...I have no time at school and I don't want to use it when I get home)

5. The person who decided to show full episodes online is one of my heroes. I can catch up on my shows while I'm cooking! Thank you!

4. I have no money. Seriously. And what I do make, I spend on supplies needed for school. Grr.

3. Lunch. I miss lunch. I miss being able to go out to eat with friends for lunch and being able to schedule that lunch break. (The trick is to take a later lunch...around 1pm or so..cause then you only have a few hours left when you get back!) That being said, there is no diet coke break or potty break in education. I'm amazed that my body is trained to only have to pee before 8am and after 4pm. Cause really, there are very few options if it wasn't.

2. Teachers don't need desks or chairs. I remember getting carpal tunnel and headaches from my posture and sitting at a desk all day. Yeah, um...I don't sit. BF was going to buy me a cool chair for my desk before school started and I decided to wait until I found one I liked. There's no point now, I never sit! Although, apparently it's comfortable...I've had one observer and one substitute that both fell asleep during class!

1. The vests are still there. Remember those teachers who wore the same 5 or 6 outfits and the ones who couldn't wait to bring out the holiday pattern vests and embroidered jackets? Yeah, they're still there. lol. Now I understand how all of those fabric stores are still in business!

All in all, I'm very lucky to be where I am. I've been hanging in there and doing an ok job so far. I'll try to report with more funny stories soon! Thanks for all of your support, understanding and prayers. I've needed it all! 12 days until Thanksgiving break!

Fine Print

Have you noticed that everything these days comes with fine print attached? You can't buy anything, go anywhere or do anything without there being a waiver, disclaimer, notice, sign or some type of "we are liable" clause in your face.

What is everyone so afraid of?

I've decided that these "security devices" or "cover my a$$ clauses" are a way of getting out of either doing what is right or having morals.

Example:
On Mother's Day we took current BF's mother to brunch at Blue Mesa Grill. This is...strike that...WAS one of my favorite brunch destinations. BF's mother slipped and fell because they had greasy floor mats and she slipped when she stepped off of one onto their concrete floor. Her plate shattered, cut her hand in about 6 places and she went down on her knee which immediately started swelling. The manager was wonderful and assisted in getting her to the ladies room, getting band-aids, taking down her contact info for the accident report and assuring us that corporate would reimburse her for any related medical expenses and she would be contacted the next day. After 5 days, she was finally contacted by their jerk of a lawyer and told she would not be receiving a dime because they were not negligent or liable and he stated the manager told us no such thing....fast forward thru me getting involved, half a dozen phone calls/emails to this man (gentleman does not apply) and the owner and in the end she was offered a free brunch for 4......EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK PEOPLE!!!!

I'm sorry but if you come to my house for dinner and you slip on my floor and spill soda on your top, I'm going to pay for your dry cleaning bill....If you are in my car and I get in a wreck, my insurance will cover you or I will. If you fall on the sidewalk in front of my house, I'm going to go out and help you up and make sure you are okay.

Is this unusual for me to act like this??? Apparently!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, everyone is so afraid of doing something wrong......they won't even chance doing something right.

What are you afraid of?

Having to spend a little money?? Thats why you work...and hopefully live within your means.
Hurting someones feelings? Guess what....you have the power to apologize...and mean it!
Having someone think badly of you? You have the power to earn that reputation back.
Having to admit you were wrong? Suck it up!
Looking someone in the eye? Don't even get me started...thats like a weak handshake....grow a pair

But think of the rewards for yourself or more importantly, for others if you do whats right. Instead of slamming my formerly favorite restaurant, Blue Mesa, in this blog...I'd brag on them. I want to be tacky, accept their offer for brunch for four and walk in there with a helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, crutches, bandaids a motorized chair and a mouth piece with my shirt saying....I fell at Blue Mesa and all I got was this brunch! EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK!

I mean, really....what is everyone SO afraid of?

It makes me sad to think that so many people live in fear and rationalize it as good judgement.

As for me....the only conditions I will gladly offer up in public are..."For better or worse, In good times and bad, In sickness and health, Till death do us part"...... And my only conditions are that I'm making those promises to a decent man who deserves my hand and everything I have to offer.

Anything else...I'll face with my faith in the lord, my commitment to do whats right, the morals my family instilled in me and the courage to take the challenges that each day/week/year/decade may throw my way.

And there's no fine print here.

The best post EVER...I can't believe I did it.

Okay....deep breath. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am SO thrilled to let you all know that after 9 exhausting months of being unemployed and looking for a teaching job, I was offered a job yesterday!!!!!! I am SO excited to finally be a teacher and I want to say thank you for all of your support.

I know I truly have great friends when they tell me that they told others that I'd gotten a teaching job and when they didn't get a really excited response they said, "No you don't understand, she's been trying to get this job for almost a year."

I knew when I decided to become a teacher that it was absolutely the right decision. After I was laid off in August, the next 9+ months were the most exhausting, stressful, emotional times and sometimes I can't believe I survived.

I'll be teaching 5th or 6th grade and I'll find out the exact assignment once I sign my contract.

Ready for the scary part? I have NOTHING!!! Seriously. I'd been keeping a list of things I thought I'd need if I ever got a classroom but even that list doesn't seem like enough. SO..........if you are at a restaurant and they give kids boxes of crayons or toys, TAKE ONE OR TEN FOR ME!!

So, if you happen to stumble across some freebies in your office supply closet and want to snag any and all things, I will not complain and I won't tell a soul!

I'm going to post my "want list" out here for the world to see...if you happen to have some of these items laying around, I would be MORE than happy to take them off of your hands.

Thank you so much again to everyone for the well wishes and the support!!!

Miss MC's wish list:
mini fridge filing cabinet
plastic bins (all sizes) crayons
markers staplers
pencils pencil sharpener (manual and electric)
notebook paper construction paper
baby wipes clorox wipes
erasers highlighters
protractors stencils
glue hole punch (3 hole and hand held)
dry erase markers sharpies
printer paper printer
laptop bulletin board decorations
staples dry erase boards
rulers/yard sticks math manipulatives
bins/boxes scissors
board games tape (masking and scotch tape)
math books (worksheets) world map
globe lamps
rugs bench or loveseat
pillows buckets
pens candy (no peanut or chocolate)
bandaits/first aid kit stickers
post its poster board
colored pencils plants
folders notebooks
stamps kleenex
toys puzzles
index cards treasure chest
goldfish animal crackers
calculators timer
bookshelves hanging shelves
ziploc bags (all sizes)

Something to make you laugh

Hugs

Being in the classroom has reminded me how important a hug can be. It's amazing how children give hugs....they give them for so many reasons....when they are sad, happy, excited, nervous, you name it.

But my favorite part of a hug from a child is that they walk toward you with their arms extended for several steps. As adults, we only raise our arms to embrace one another once we are close enough to touch. Kids will stick their arms out as soon as they see you and walk across the room like that.

It makes me smile and I think I'm going to try it with my friends, I hope you will too. It might make you laugh or it might make you wonder, "when did I stop doing this and why?"

It never ends, does it?

It's so funny how something tiny can make you smile....but kind of in a sad way. Here I was last week, surrounded with my own self awareness and deep thoughts when I stumble upon someone who is anything BUT aware. I didn't actually see them, but merely heard about the ridiculousness thru friends. It instantly made me realize...I have absolutely nothing to be worried about.

I don't hold grudges, I don't create a fictional version of things that happened in the past in order to try to rationalize my own actions and I definitely don't try to pass off blame to others.

I do, however, fear for the future children of those that do. So lets everyone take a deep breath, shall we? Get over it already. You have bigger bumps to worry about.

Defeat or Growth? You decide.

Still alive...still hanging in there...in fact, I think I've adapted well to "survival mode." And I'm not afraid to say it, I'm pretty darn proud of myself.

Next Sunday is my 29th birthday. Up until today, I really hadn't thought about it as a celebration. For the first time on my birthday, I'm not in a place where I thought I could be proud of myself. I don't have a career...in fact, I don't really have a job. I'm not working toward anything in my relationship, heck, we don't even see eye to eye at this point. I'm not independent. And for once, I don't think I consider myself a role model for anything other than "what not to do."

But then I got to thinking. I'm surviving. I think a lot of people would've given up by now, but I haven't yet. And in fact, I'm not even so fragile that people have adjusted how they are around me. I still have friends coming to ME for advice, the only difference is that I'm leaning back on them more than ever.

And perhaps the most amazing thing is that I feel stronger with each passing day.

I've had this amazing thing happen to me in the last month, horrible but amazing....I have been attacked. Not physically, but emotionally and psychologically by another person. Now granted, that is a dramatic term but when someone knows their actions will hurt another person and continues to do them, I consider that an attack.

I generally consider myself a good person so it's been hard to understand why I've been the target and I've almost let it get the best of me. I've done everything I can to learn anything and everything about my attacker and monitored them in any way and every way possible. I felt that this was my own way of protecting myself. And I felt exhausted and emotionally sabotaged.

But this week, I decided that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what malicious or vindictive reasons people have to do bad things. What matters is how you let those decisions affect you (affect or effect??? i dont remember). In the last few days I realized that I'm not going to let it affect me anymore. I can't control what other people do, all I can control is myself.

And I choose to be a better person. I choose to make the right decisions, I choose to let a higher power handle it. Because my job, the only full time job I have right now, is to be good. To be strong. To survive. Dramatic, I know....but just go with me on this.

So to this person, I forgive you, even though you haven't asked for it nor do you probably want it. I will pray for you to have the same "awakening" as I have had this week. And I pray that you get what it is that you desire so badly. Because for me, it's not about what I desire anymore, it's about what I need. And I've realized that I have everything that I truly need and those things cannot be taken away. So I will be okay no matter what desires you try to take from me....even if you succeed.

And next Sunday, on my 29th birthday, I will be proud of the person that I have become. A person who is constantly evolving, constantly trying to be a better version of herself, and more recently...a person who takes a deep breath...forgives without stipulations...and moves on.