why do we like the pain?

Masochism refers to sexual or non-sexual gratification in the infliction of pain or humiliation upon oneself.

I've noticed that whether or not we know it, many of us like inflicting pain upon ourselves. In one of my favorite shows, Grey's Anatomy, Meredith says “Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.”

The most recent case of Masochism I've witnessed is, of course, in regards to relationships. It's the girl who keeps going back for more.

Why?

I think it's the fear.

1)The fear that she made a mistake
2)The fear that he was "the one" (no matter how absolutely crappy he was)
3)The fear that she'll never be happy again.

#3 is the kicker. As women, we're raised to believe that we're looking for that Prince Charming, that Mr. Right. When we get in a relationship, we realize that prince actually has to pick us too. And when that relationship ends, we forget that we can look for him...we're focused on only finding the one who will pick us but we see that as a slim to none chance as our confidence is completely shot.

Even when friends tell you not to do it, and you would tell them the same thing if the situation were reversed, you do it anyway. Because the pain feels so good.

I don't know how to get thru to her and tell her being with no one is better than being with a jerk. I think it's a realization she'll have to come to on her own. Until then, I'll pray for her strength and hope he stubbs his toe on every wooden and metal object he passes.