A Decade Ago

Its a hard realization for me to swallow that my life can now be measured in decades...almost 3 to be exact. This weekend I celebrated a significant milestone in my life...my 10 year high school reunion.

It got me thinking about where I was ten years ago. I had just graduated and I was preparing to attend college at Texas Tech. My boyfriend had moved home for the summer and I was relieved that we'd survived his first year at college away. I was excited about going thru sorority rush and living on my own, seeing how I'd cut it with no one to look over me. And all I could think about was that I was about to begin the rest of my life.

Although the things that seemed the most important to me then are not at all important now... but ten years later, I feel the exact same way about what is yet to come...I feel like the rest of my life hasn't started yet, how cool is that! I have accomplished so much in ten years, I have two college degrees, I've lived in another country, I've accomplished all of my career goals up to this point, I have a great group of friends, my family has grown, I have three 4-legged children and one loving boyfriend, I've purchased cars, paid rent, overdrawn credit cards & bank accounts, lost friends and loves, come full circle with my faith and my fears and in the end, I still feel that I have so much ahead of me.

That being said, I had mixed emotions about attending this reunion. When someone asks me, "what have you been up to since high school and how are you?" would I have a good enough answer? I didn't want to pull a Romy and Michelle and say I'd invented the post-it but I did want to be impressive and show that I hadn't wasted the past ten years. I was reminded of how I felt my first year out of high school when faced with the option to go home for "Homecoming." To be honest, I don't remember if I actually went home for that or not.

I was part of our senior class council so I was involved with the planning process for this reunion. My job was to be "that girl" and send emails, make phone calls, place ads and send homing pigeons to try to find everyone who was ever part of our class.

Even though I was involved with all of the planning, part of me just wanted to act "too cool" to go.

Regardless, I went to my 10 year high school reunion this past weekend and all I can say is, if you're wondering whether or not you should go to yours...let me just tell you....absolutely, without a doubt you should definitely go.

Maybe it's because I graduated with a small class of 173 or maybe it's because I graduated from a fairly small town, but either way, I went to school with a group of incredible people. The sad thing is, I just now realized that.

This past weekend, I hung out with some people I hadn't seen since high school and wasn't even that close with in high school. I caught up on the lives and families of old friends and I even made some new friendships.

For those who weren't ready to go home, a good majority went out to a local bar and then even went out to after parties. At one point, I was with old and new friends, in the parking lot near the police station, waiting for another friend to go pick up someone who almost got arrested and then we'd all caravan to the after party. Funny how many times I've done that exact same thing at 18. We even held our breath when the cop circled the parking lot..like somehow we thought we were doing something wrong and then we remembered, we were all over the age of 21.

My friend, Melissa, said that her mother told her that reunions have a better turn out for the 20year than the 10year. Although we had over 100 people in attendance, there were several people who didn't show...including those who still live in my hometown. I'd sent out an email in the weeks prior to the reunion asking for one or two things that have happened to everyone since our graduation. I was so surprised to get responses from people who seemed embarrased or ashamed of where they were in life.

But this reunion could't have been farther from the high school experience. There weren't "clicks" within the reunion, no one was "cooler" than someone else....we all just had a fun time and got along as one great group. It didn't matter how many times you'd been married or divorced, how many kids you had, how many pounds you gained or jobs you've had, where you lived or what you did, what you wore or what you drove...we all just enjoyed being with eachother again.

It made me realize whats really important. Saturday, we were all able to enjoy eachothers company and truly reconnect with old and new friends. I can only hope that every reunion is this successfull.

With all of this wholesome talk, let me also say....there was dancing, eating, too much drinking, laughing, vomiting and wreckless dancing, sweating, cursing, hugging, and my favorite...a photo in front of the police headquarters.

To anyone from my graduating class that attended, it was so good to catch up with you!! I can say this because I actually caught up with every person there...and for those who didn't attend...I sincerely hope you will be there for the 20th!

it's coming

i promise...

first i was busy, then i was hot, then i was running late, then i was having too much fun, then i was intoxicated, then i was hungover a little, then i was driving, then i was sleeping and now i'm working.

but the blog....i promise it's coming.

Have you found me yet?

it's a great word. It's one of my favorite shows (although I did lose interest during the black cloud monster phase) and it's often a word I hear people "my age" use to describe themselves.

There are places I go to "get lost" (shopping mall, barnes & noble, movie theater)and songs/movies/books that I can lose myself in (the notebook, hello!). There are also places I go to find myself (church, the lake, my parents house).

It's so interesting to me how common and unique these two words can be and how they are often paired together....Lost And Found.

Because really, the contents in the "Lost and Found" box don't include both "lost items" and "found items" so why doesn't the box just have the name Found?? Think about it...if there are items that you've lost...you wouldn't have them to put in a box...because they are LOST!

I equate it with the "glass half full" theory and chalk it up to perception.

I know this is getting deep and all but when you think about it, equating your teenage years, twenties or any other significant reflection time as when you are "lost" it can also be described as the time where you "find yourself." It's all about your perception!

So from here on out, I am no longer lost....I am found. And now that I found myself, I just have to figure out what to do with myself.

I need Christmas

Christmas in July is a common thing at retail centers. I think it's to increase the stress for all of us and remind us that Christmas is 20 something paychecks away.

For me, Christmas has never been a huge cause of stress like it is for others. I think its because there are only a few things in life that I love more than spending time with my family. I love cooking and decorating with my mom, begrudgingly wrapping white lights on the porch with my dad, finishing the last minute wrapping and preparing santa gifts for my mom. I love seeing those family members that you usually only see on holidays, wearing sweaters even though its really not cold enough for them, sitting on the porch before everyone wakes up and drinking coffee with mom and making memaws fudge.

There are so many things I cherish about the holidays, but nothing compares to the closeness that I feel to my Lord.

I don't know if its because the air is crisper/cleaner and I feel like its a more direct line of communication when I pray, or just because I get sentimental around the holiday. Regardless, its the one time of year that I can truly "give it up to God".

And right now, with Christmas half a year away, I would give anything to have the feeling I have at that time of year. I need a Christmas in July. I need the comfort of my loving parents and close friends, I need the smell of Big Mama's "Texas Trash" that my Mom makes and I need to hear the gorgeous fire crackling that my dad creates in the fireplace. I need to hang those ornaments full of memories and think back on when times were simple and care free.

Most of all, I need that feeling that no matter what happens next, everything is going to be okay. And right now, with all the summer heat and all the thoughts in my head, that message isn't exactly coming thru loud or clear.

Tomorrow is a day of new beginnings so I need some sleep. When I say my prayers tonight, it will be for each of us to get a little bit of Christmas when we need it.

To Re-Gift is to Receive

I've always been a fan of giving in every sense of the word. I've been described as a giving person and I love that....mostly I'm giving my time, my heart, my ear or my shoulder...but occasionally I get to give material things. I love all of these types of "giving"....the non-material (i'm sure there's an actual word for that but I don't know it) and the material.

The Non because I hate being alone unless I've had a terrible day and giving of myself always involves being around other people. The Material because I love to see people smile....I think long and hard about the gifts that I wrap up with a bow, convinced by the time the wrapping is complete that it is the most perfect gift for the recipient and I give myself an A+. (and i usually do a darn cute wrapping job.)

And of these material gifts, my all-time favorite is the Re-Gift.

Now most people frown upon re-gifting or hand-me-downs but that feeling is WRONG people! If you can give someone something that they absolutely love and you absolutely could do without, it is a WIN-WIN situation!!

Last night I had some girlfrieds over for pokeno. (It's a bunco group and we switched games because this one didn't require mathematical skills while drinking wine) We immediately judged everyones wrapping jobs by which gift bag was the cutest (mine...SNAP!), which was not (deemed "ugly bag"), which was the biggest (super cute purse) and which was the most creative (foil wrapped freebirds g.c.). It was so much fun to re-gift the wrapping and to know that with these girls, you can bring a re-gifted gift and no one cares. We are all so different that SOMEONE is going to think your trash is a treasure. It's like buying without paying...and without going to jail for it!

So Ladies, I must suggest that you do a pokeno night or some sort of gift exchange on a regular basis.

I attempted to host a "sip n swap" at the changing of the season where everyone brings clothes that are somewhat new but either cant wear or won't be worn for whatever reason and we all trade...while drinking wine, of coures. (Are you noticing a pattern? Yeah, me too, thank goodness I'm off the meds and can reclaim my title of wine-o).

Until next time, Cheers!

I got boxes!!

I finally received my "military packs" which are boxes that the USPS provides at no cost for anyone sending packages to troops, can we say hell yeah!?! Rock on USPS!

So this weekend will be my first shipment, I'm oh-so-excited! I'm hoping I'll get a little more participation from some of you kiddos so please email me if you'd like to help. And for anyone who travels, send me your hotel shampoos/soaps/etc!!!

I'll keep ya posted on the progress! Have a great weekend!

CLH

I went to Camp Longhorn for over ten years. If you're a parent, I highly recommend that you send your children there...it will provide the most incredible memories, friends, lessons and adventures that are priceless. I sometimes wish I had more than 2 weeks vacation each year because I'd love to go back as a counselor a few more times.

Anyway, I had one of those little Blue Bell ice cream cups today that come with the little wooden flat spoon-ish tool. I was trying to remember the last time I had one of those and I'm pretty sure it was at camp.

I was immediately taken back to those summers and I laughed when I think of how my camp friends and I would completely cover the top of the cup with peanut butter (sometimes crunchy-sometimes creamy) and then some would add honey (not me). So I decided to see if I still liked it and oh good lord, it was SO good!! Definitely try it! If I can find an Oreo cookie in the next few weeks, I'll cover it with peanut butter too...how did we come up with these combinations?

So take a moment and reward yourself with some summer treats!

Here is a slideshow from my last trip to CLH for Tex's memorial service. Enjoy!

no officer, i didnt know it was red

Ever drive somewhere and not remember how you got there?

I drove to work this morning and I have no clue if the lights I drove thru were red or green.

SCARY!

Security and being secure

We had a security system installed last week and now I'm more scared about "things" than I was before.

I guess ignorance truly is bliss because now that we have taken these measures to secure the house, I feel less secure overall.

Plus, I'm SO scared that I'm going to set the thing off! Aaah!

Open Letter to my Pillow

Dear Beloved Pillow,

Oh how I miss thee....we never spend time together anymore. And when we do...it's not the quality time like when we first met. Why is it that relationships always change and the bond you once had seems to fade? In my desperation to be close to you, I actually thought about substituting an office chair, desk, steering wheel or bathroom counter for you but that just left me feeling empty inside and missing you more. So don't worry, I'm not seeing anyone else and I love you.

I hope that one day, we'll reconnect and bond like we used to. I love how we used to just spend hours together and I long for the days when we traveled together. When I was sick you'd make me feel better, when i was sad you'd comfort me, and when I'd had too much to drink you were there to catch me when I would fall. Nothing brings me comfort like you do.

I hope that one day, we'll reconnect and bond like we used to. They say it only gets worse as we age but I'm hoping we can prove them wrong.

Your long lost friend,

MC

why do we like the pain?

Masochism refers to sexual or non-sexual gratification in the infliction of pain or humiliation upon oneself.

I've noticed that whether or not we know it, many of us like inflicting pain upon ourselves. In one of my favorite shows, Grey's Anatomy, Meredith says “Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.”

The most recent case of Masochism I've witnessed is, of course, in regards to relationships. It's the girl who keeps going back for more.

Why?

I think it's the fear.

1)The fear that she made a mistake
2)The fear that he was "the one" (no matter how absolutely crappy he was)
3)The fear that she'll never be happy again.

#3 is the kicker. As women, we're raised to believe that we're looking for that Prince Charming, that Mr. Right. When we get in a relationship, we realize that prince actually has to pick us too. And when that relationship ends, we forget that we can look for him...we're focused on only finding the one who will pick us but we see that as a slim to none chance as our confidence is completely shot.

Even when friends tell you not to do it, and you would tell them the same thing if the situation were reversed, you do it anyway. Because the pain feels so good.

I don't know how to get thru to her and tell her being with no one is better than being with a jerk. I think it's a realization she'll have to come to on her own. Until then, I'll pray for her strength and hope he stubbs his toe on every wooden and metal object he passes.

Selfishnessicity

I'm really struggling lately with people who are selfish. Everyone is selfish at some point in their life but I've been faced with some extreme cases. Some people who are so wrapped up and focused on themselves and have absolutely no desire to do anything for anyone else or even be there for anyone else. I think the word selfish isn't strong enough to describe those people and I just don't understand them sometimes. Usually I'd be able to write them off and not let it bother me but when someone's actions intentionally hurt someone else, thats unnecessary, and frankly it pisses me off.

It's really hard for me to believe that there are people out there who have no desire to do anything for anyone else. I just don't get that. Don't they know that the feeling you get when giving someone a gift (material or not) isn't something that only happens in December? Patience, or lack thereof, is one of my big flaws so the fact that this has been an ongoing struggle is trying my patience.

I've had people tell me that my expectations are too high in life. How depressing is that? Are they really? If so, how did I get here? I know that I watched Faerie Tale Theater a LOT as a child (and yes, it is spelled Faerie) and I know that I'm a sap for wholesome movies but generally, I don't expect anything from anyone that I don't do myself.

So I'm faced with this inner turmoil. How can I be a giving person without being disappointed in others that don't? And don't get me wrong here, people, I'm nowhere close to being this good, wholesome, person that I'd like to be. But I do genuinely care about others and I love the feeling I get and the impact I make when I give to others. Maybe thats me being selfish....because I do it for the way it makes me feel?? That being said, as much as I'd like to go above and beyond in everything I do, generally I don't because I'm often lazy. So how can it be, then, that my expectations are too high?

I truly hope that is not the case because if my expectations are too high then that would make my hopes and dreams completely out of reach. So my challenge for you today is to do something nice for someone else. It can be as simple as holding the door for someone or as complicated as taking food to the homeless. And next time you feel the need to be selfish, fight it with a smile!

Hey MC? Its your uterus....we need to talk

I'm an independent gal and very happy in my life. I'm used to the fact that my timeline for the future doesn't measure up to everyone else's and others expect me to catch up soon. I get that.
Generally, I'm fine with how things are working out.

And then a friend of mine goes and gets pregnant.

Why is it that shopping for infant clothes and any baby things can make your uterus wake up and start aching? Oh my goodness, I swear my "clock" starting going off like a police siren.

All I can say is I've never been so excited to give an expectant mother a gift....I need to get this thing out of my house so that my body will go back to normal!

Great News and an Update on Call to Action for our troops

For those who are new to this site and want to help, you can see my original post about sending packages to troops by clicking here or email me

Many thanks to my friend, Lincee, for pimping out my efforts on her blog. And thanks to my friend Allison for finally providing me a way to get the soldier information I've been looking for!
I appreciate all of the well wishes, tid bits of information, and applause I've gotten so far.

What I need now is your help!

This weekend, my beautiful Mom ransacked thru her house to help me in this giving mission. It was so easy to find stuff to send to troops. If everyone took 2-3 minutes in each room of your home, I guarantee you'll find something new or gently used to donate.

Here are things we found: (see the full Call to Action for a complete list)
paperback books, local newspapers, magazines, travel size toiletries from hotels, crystal light on the go packs, batteries, gum, stationery, blank cards, water guns, stuffed animals (for troops to give to children there).

I forgot to mention before that I'm in the Dallas area. Even if you're across the country, please email me if you'd like to help, I can get you the supplies you need to ship your stuff and a soldier to send them to...you can help me remotely!!!

Wanna save a little $?

So my company is making all kinds of efforts to help us save money with the rising cost of fuel, etc. Well, I found out a way to save a lot of money this weekend!

It's been a 6 week battle with this sinus infection from hades. Seriously, 6 weeks people!! And none of you have sent me a good well card...or chocolate. Four of these long weeks I've been on antibiotics (see my roid rage post yeah...i was a bit angry)

During this time, any type of alcohol has been forbidden...FORBIDDEN!! If you know me, you know that this is a major problem. I studied abroad in Italy and wine...well, it's like my better half!

This past weekend we took a trip to lovely Fredericksburg..famous for their peaches and Admiral Nimitz. I broke my promise to my dr, my pharmacist, and everyone else who is more responsible than I am and I ordered a fresh peach margarita with dinner. Let me just tell you it was something close to heaven.

I don't know if it was the fact that I haven't had one in over a month or the medication that I was on, but MAN...talk about hammered. Because I'm an incredibly gifted actress (i was even a thespian in high school...and no, thats not what it means) no one knew that I was, indeed, Tipsy Tina.

So Augmentin and Alcohol....a very dangerous combination but, hey...I saved $7 because I only had one!

*let it be said that I'm in no way encouraging you to mix perscriptions and alcohol. let this statement serve as a "read at your own risk" warning and I will not be held responsible for my words...or something like that*

Call to Action: Do more than just watch the fireworks

Ok...this is a challenge to all of you...ready??

Whenever there is a holiday, I always like to take some time to think about what that holiday is really about, not just how we celebrate it. To me, 4th of July is truly a celebration of my freedom...something I often take for granted. In celebration of this holiday, I too will watch fireworks, eat bbq, drink margaritas and wear something red, white or blue. But this year, I want to take it a step further...I want to give back to those who provide me with my freedom.

So starting today, I want to send care packages to our deployed troops. I'm gathering information on the specifics of what can/can't be sent and how exactly I'm to get these items to them.

What I know...for food, they request as much individually wrapped items as possible or durable things...(i.e. pringles cans instead of bags of chips), and non perishable items as it may take 2-4 weeks to get there and go thru several locations, temperatures and handling methods.

Here is a list of items wanted:
DVDs, CDs, Batteries (all sizes)
Computer Flash Drives
Headsets (earpiece and microphone)
Beanie Babies (what??), Small Novelty Items
Disposable Cameras
Prepaid Phone Cards
Travel-Size Board Games, Handheld electronic games
Bandana Coolers/Cool-Ties*, Mini-Battery-operated Fans
Hand and Foot Warmers
Commercially wrapped individual packets of Trail Mix, Beef Jerky, Nuts, Energy Bars, Sunflower Seeds, Candy (Halloween Candy is great!!)
Ready To Eat Tuna or Chicken Salad kits
Boxes of Girl Scout Cookies; Small tins of Danish Cookies
Packets of Powdered Cold Beverages (the type that you just add water to and individually wrapped is preferred...i.e. crystal light singles, etc)
Commercially sealed Lip Balm, roll-on deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrushes
Individual packets of moist towelettes
Travel Size containers of Foot Powder
Screen Printed T-Shirts, Socks
Baseball Style Caps, Knit Hats and Gloves; Neck Gators*
Holiday Greeting Cards (blank)
Tobacco Products
Unsealed personal cards and letters
Used Cell Phones, Video Games and Systems, IPODs, PDAs, Ink-jet Cartridges

For a more personal touch,
~Send a personal note or have your children write a letter, draw a picture, etc.
~ Send silly toys – water guns, handheld travel games, a book of jokes, magic tricks, etc. Anything to let him take a break. If you send water guns or something similar, be sure to send multiples, it’s no fun to play alone.
~Instead of packing supplies, I'm going to use recent newspapers, send me your old ones so I have a variety!
~Send magazines or a book

*I know these are a lot of items and some can be expensive..so see my other post on how to Make your own Cool Ties Or...if you make the fabric and I'll do the rest!

Thank you in advance to anyone and everyone for your help!! If you need to send items or want to send money towards the purchase of items, please email me theflipsideofthepillow at gmail dot com

How to make a Cool Tie

update: i had a "crazy" read this post....check it out here

This is for your own summer survival or if you'd like to join me in my Call To Action and help me send care packages to our troops.

How To Make A Cool Tie

Materials and Supplies:
1/4 yard 45-inch wide lightweight 100% cotton fabric Please use tan, brown, desert camouflage or other neutral colored cotton or material.
2 teaspoons Watersorb-brand polymer granules (to order Watersorb-brand polymer granules visit Watersorb.com's Cool Ties page)
thread
sewing machine
pins
scissors or rotary cutter
bamboo or plastic point turner

Instructions:
1. Cut cut a 7"-by-45" rectangle from fabric. For simplest cutting, fold fabric crosswise and use a rotary cutter. (Note: you can make five cool ties from one yard of 45" fabric.)

2. Fold fabric strip in half lengthwise, right sides together. To form pointed end, cut a 45-degree triangle from each folded end. Cut back from the fold toward the edges.

3. Locate the lengthwise center of the folded strip. Place 2 pins 1 1/2 inches on each side of the center of the strip. The pins mark the area to be left open to reverse the tie. Sew from point to center on each side, with a 5/8th inch seam allowance. Leave the area between the pins open.

4. Using scissors, carefully notch seam allowance next to the tie point.

5. Measure 10 inches up from each pointed end, mark location with a pin. On each side, sew directly across the tie from end to end, backstitching at the beginning and end of the stitching line. This stitching creates a pocket for the garden polymer granules.

6. Insert 2 teaspoons Watersorb-brand polymer granules into center of the tie through the opening in the seam.

7. Stitching close to the folded edges, sew the opening closed.

there is no title for this

For those of you who don't know, the lead story in last nights news hits at home. It's the case of the man who was convicted of murdering a family member of mine. I was 3 1/2 when my second cousin was murdered, along with four other men, in Sherman, TX.

I'm amazed at how many people have been sharing their opinions on this case. Granted, most of the opinions are formed without knowing all of the information and the media has only shown one side of this story. that being said, i applaud everyone for taking interest, it shows that people do care.

So what i ask is this, please say a prayer for these families...the families of the four men murdered, of the one convicted of the crime and of the ones suspected that could be involved. The families of these men did nothing to deserve this and have suffered for too long. There is at least one guilty party here..and in my opinion it is the government...this case shouldn't have gone on this long...if they were going to hear this evidence, they should have done it decades ago. this is heart wrenching for all of us. For more info, click here