Christmas Production

Did someone send you an E-Christmas Card this year? With an electronic newsletter? Yeah...I got that too. Its rare that our generation actually uses stamps! Maybe I should go ahead and auto schedule e-cards for the next 10 years to be emailed on Christmas Eve. I bet I can do it from an iphone! Heck I can record video messages and have a soundtrack playing in the background! Not a traditional Christmas song, of course, maybe a pop icon's version of All I Want for Christmas is a Wii. Or Wii Wish You A Merry Christmas. Sometimes I wish we could go back....when there were CAR phones in case of emergency and people actually "caught up" in person, in letters or thru a lengthy phone conversation.

My favorite part of Christmas is coming home and going to the Christmas Eve church service with my family. I have such awesome memories of attending in my pjs as a child and reuniting with old friends as I grew up.

Our church is enormous and has members from all walks of life which is part of what makes it unique and part of what makes it so inviting. Over the past few years, our church has changed...some say "evolved."

This was expected when our original pastor retired and handed over the reigns to his replacement. But now it seems that I barely recognize the church that had such a huge part in framing the christian that I am today.

Now it seems that going to church is more a production than ever before. Complee with programs that advertised upcoming concerts, a 4 minute message from our pastor, the trio that rocked out to an electric guitar and a version of Joy to the World that no one could sing along to and the complete absence of any traditional Christmas hymns. I left feeling disappointed and cheated.

I very much support Praise music in churches. I think it reaches out to those who didn't grow up in a church or who are looking for a more modern/contemporary service. I was raised where we had Praise music during our Wednesday night bible studies or in youth group. It was extremely rare to hear that in "Big Church" as we called it. The women wore dresses, hose and heels and the men wore ties. You dressed up, you sang hymns, you read scripture and you studied the bible. The pastors message reached you and made you think...but the message was scripture and how to apply it.

I can't help but feel that modern churches focus so much time and energy on the performance and production and less on the message.

To me, it's not about the stage lights, the sound board, the band, the video screen (grrr...thats a soap box in itself...i don't want to see advertisements or commercials, tell me what i need in the program) It's not about having the newest cool christian song cause guess what, when you ask me to stand and sing along...if i have to read the video screen for the words that is not cool!).

I miss the days where we would sing as a congregation and you would hear harmony through out the crowd because they were songs we knew by heart. How am I supposed to harmonize if I don't know the melody?

I don't need a glamorous church. I remember when the glamorous aspect to the service was a solo or a small group and maybe a handbell performance. Where has that gone?

I'm tempted to write a note to the new pastor but I'm afraid he won't even read it or care. I think he has plans for this church that include erasing everything that it was except for the real estate.

So how is it, at 28 years old, I suddenly feel like an old person? Where are the churches that have a hymnal in each row that don't collect dust? Are we losing focus? I don't believe in adapting or modernizing the bible to meet our needs....we are supposed to adapt ourselves to meet his needs.

I guess I have to go searching thru podcasts for a video of what church used to be. Should I start in the "oldies" section? Mabye someone will send me another Ecard christmas card or txt me information.

Marley Update

I'm so pleased to announce that we found a home for Marley, just in time for Christmas.

Thanks to all of you who helped and if anyone needs a kitten, we still have several more!

Bad Frys-Good Lesson

Ok, I'm not the person to name call or use my blog for my own benefit but the gloves are off today!!! I have a story to share with you and hope that you will read it and never give Frys Electronics your business afterwards.

Disclaimer: The names have been changed in order to protect the actual crappy people that I dealt with.

I went to my local Frys last week because I am buying the same gift for 3 family members and wanted to get the best value for my money.
I found the department and asked an associate to help me, enter "Corey".

I wont go into the details of the entire experience but to summarize, this is what happened:

I told the sales rep that I had a budget. The first item he suggested for me was $15 over my budget. I reminded him that I had a budget because I'm unemployed and that since I'm buying 3, his item would cost me an additional $45. To which he replied, "yeah but it's only $15 more."

Next, he suggested one that was $5 over my budget so I thanked him for offering to give me $15 to help me cover the overage. He did not laugh and decided I wasn't worth his time. He again reminded me that it was only $5 over my budget. When I reminded him again of my budget, he pointed to what he called "the crappy ones" and started to walk off.

I stopped him by asking him some technical information about one of "the crappy ones" and he said that he wouldn't even know what to tell me about it because, "No one ever buys these and I don't know anything about them." Exit Corey.

Ok friends....here is my beef. Yes, I would absolutely love to buy my friends and family the best and newest Christmas gifts on the market. I would love to have an endless budget where I could adopt a family, provide for my family and help anyone in need this holiday season. But in reality, I haven't had a steady paycheck in 4 months and I'm lucky that I can give any gifts at all. I am saddened by this current situation but I refuse to let it get me down because spending $ is not what this season is about. And when I go to buy a gift for someone, I don't need some crappy salesclerk trying to make me feel like a cheapskate.

So, I called the PIC (Person In Charge) and reached "Peter." I walked Peter thru my unpleasant experience in his store and told him that I didn't appreciate the way "Corey" made me feel. I also told him that I could pretty much guarantee that I wasn't the only person in Frys at that moment who was either unemployed or who was cutting back this year due to the economy.

Peter replied, "Well, you see, we as a company encourage our employees to encourage our customers to spend more in our store. Its called up-selling."
"Thanks Peter for the sales lesson. I'm fully aware of the concept of upselling." I replied.
"Oh good." Peter said as a smart aleck. "So you understand that we, as a company, make more money if our employees encourage spending in our stores."
At this point I wanted to reach thru the phone.
"Yes, Peter. I'm not an idiot. I understand the sales process. And I also understand that if you make your customers feel like crap while executing your 'sales process' you will no longer have customers. And I would think that given our economy and the fact that stores are closing left and right, you would encourage your employees to focus more on meeting the NEEDS of the customer instead of reaching the wallet of the customer."

Peter and I went back and forth and he even had the nerve to tell me that he didn't understand how Corey had hurt my feelings. He eventually said he'd tell Corey to be more sensitive and quickly got me off of the phone. A$$

I then called the Store Manager, the District Manager and the Corporate HQ. Cause I was just that pissed.

I know what you're thinking, dramatic. But after I got off the phone with Peter, I cried the entire way home. This has never happened. And I thought, if someone can have this affect on me and I'm doing fairly well given my situation....what kind of effect will they have on the person that is barely holding it together?

To end on a positive note, I heard back from the sales manager who assured me that was NOT the way their employees or managers were to handle sales or sensitive situations. He apologized profusely and stated that he would have a conversation with all involved.

I don't mean to rant and get everyone down in the dumps a week before Christmas. I do this, in fact, to help. Because this year, more than any other, we are all in this together. We all know someone, are related to someone or are in some way affected by the economy. Whether you are using less electricity/gas this year but paying more, had your savings/investments affected by this economy, know someone who is having a harder time doing the same job, know someone who is without a job, has had their work or pay cut back, or simply scared that they will be in one of the scenarios I mentioned....you recognize that its different this year. And so many people feel like they are on their own, with no one to turn to.

But we are a community, we are neighbors and we all rely on eachother. Whether we celebrate Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa or nothing at all, times are tough. So this year, more than ever, recognize eachothers effort, recognize the difference that people make in your lives, and recognize the needs, success and hopes of those around you. You might be person that is the straw that broke the camels back...but more importantly, you could be the person that reminds them to keep going, shows them the reason for the season and shows them that they can count on their neighbors, their friends and their community.

So all of you, my neighbors, family and community...I thank you for being there for me. I hope that your needs are met and your wishes are granted this holiday season. And if anyone gives you trouble....give me a call because you know I've got your back!

Economical Angel Tree

So I finished the majority of my Christmas shopping this evening at the local mall. I rarely venture into the mall outside of December so it is always a unique experience.

I found a parking place with ease (a benefit of having a teachers schedule) and didn't have to go too far before finding gifts for those "hard to shop for" friends on my list. I bought a coffee with a starbucks card I'd gotten a few weeks ago and was feeling particularly chipper and in the holiday spirit when I found the table where they had the Angel tree. Every year, one of my favorite parts of my holiday is giving back to my community. I haven't had the opportunity to give back this year and since I'm on a tighter budget and experiencing hard times of my own, it was even more important for me to find a way to give back. The Angel tree seemed like the perfect thing.

For those of you who don't know about the Angel tree, many organizations, churches and malls have a tree filled with "angels." These "angels" are children in need and their angel ornament lists their name, sex, age and what they want/need for Christmas. For example, it would say
"Timothy
Boy
11 years old
Shoe size 6
Shirt M
Pant Size 8
Wants educational books, new coat, Spiderman pajamas, teddy bear and Pokemon cards"

I began searching thru the "angels" with the intent to find an angel that wasn't in high demand. The babies are always picked and the kids under the age of 6 or so. Usually its the kids that are older, have requests for clothes (instead of toys) or have unusual sizes that are the last ones left on the tree.

I skimmed over the selection....Katie-13-Digital Camera, Josh-15-PSP, Ginger-14-Ipod Video, Hannah-17-portable DVD player, Cameron-11-Nintendo Wii.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm shopping in a very affluent area but..ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? This tree is supposed to be for children in need. A tree asking for the support of the community to give to those less fortunate and there isn't a single wish/need that can be granted for under $100??? I don't spend that much on my family members, how in the world do you expect me to fit these wishes into my budget?

I don't mean to sound like a Scrooge but who is the person who organized this? Who picks these "needy" children? I'm not saying that these kids can't have big wishes but the point of an angel tree is to truly meet the needs of these children. What good is a Nintendo Wii going to do if they don't have a home, a tv or money to pay the electric bill? What good will that do if they don't have shoes that fit, a coat to keep them warm and toys that will help further their education?

I was so mad when I saw the gift suggestions listed on these ornaments that I walked away without adopting a single angel. And I had such a bad taste in my mouth that I thought about it the entire way home. I want to know who has the nerve to print these requests and hang them on the tree. If there is ever a year to get back to our basic needs, its this year.

It reminds you that in tough times, greed never cuts back. Here's hoping that those who are truly in need this year, this holiday season, are not overlooked by those just looking for a handout.

Don't Wig Out

There are no words...and no need for them. Sorry, I don't know how to rotate the video:

A Home for Marly

So, my parents have these cats that adopted them. Most of them we've placed with a family or found a no-kill rescue shelter to take them. However, there is one tiny kitten that they can't bear to risk it growing up in a shelter. We named it Marly and she has her first round of shots and has been living in their laundry room for the past 2 weeks. The plan was for my cousin to adopt her but we just found out that my cousin's roommate is allergic.

So...just a little more than a week out from Christmas and Marly is without a home. My parents can't keep her because my brother in law is really allergic and they are coming on the 22nd. PLEASE PLEASE help us find a home for this adorable kitten...she truly is one of the cutest cats I've ever seen.

If you are interested in adopting Marly please email me at theflipsideofthepillow@gmail.com

I passed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As some of you know, I took my certification exam on Tuesday. Monday night there were tornadoes, Tuesday a.m. I woke with my monthly visitor and a cold sore on my lip. I had to drive to Wichita Falls and I drove into a massive cold front. My test took over 3 hours, my brain was shot and the temp had dropped below freezing and it was starting to sleet.

I wasn't able to stop by and see my Granny, big bummer, as I had to get back on the road to make it home before the awful weather caught up with me.

Anyway, I just found out that I PASSED!!!!!!

This means that I can officially be hired at any school (grades 4-8) to teach! I'm so excited!

crazy lights

In a neighborhood near ours lives this man who goes all out when it comes to Christmas lights. And I mean ALL OUT. He has his own small radio station that he broadcasts from his home and his lights are hooked up to the music. He adds more each year...this video is from last year. Check this out:

25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18..............

It's no secret that I have a ridiculously girlie taste in TV. Reality, Romance, Trash....I watch it.

And the best time of year for me is ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas and Falalala Lifetime.

Thats right, friends. Every day until Christmas a made for tv movie or otherwise seasonal flick is showing on these channels. Add in an occiasional TLC or WE special and you have yourself some holiday entertainment for the rest of 2008. And, if you have or On Demand, you can watch them at your convenience without paying the extra $14.99 a month for the DVR box! I love it!

So far my favorites are Borrowed Hearts, Christmas Do-Over, Picking Up & Dropping Off (old but good)

Welcome back lights!!

While driving home last night, I noticed that my neighborhood light display is growing as each day passes. It reminded me that I have not gotten a single holiday decoration down from my attic and I am behind big time!!! (notice, I did not say I have a big behind....I said I'm behind in a big way....don't confuse the two)

Anyhow, as soon as I can get my lazy behind off of this sofa, I plan to begin the process of transforming this home into a holiday masterpiece since my momma will be visiting us on Saturday.

This thought brought me back to our last holiday where the formerly nice old man across the street transformed himself into "that guy" and turned his sprinklers on during the trick or treat night of sweets. I'm telling you, his meanness is the reason we didn't have as many ghosts and goblins at our door.

So I'm wondering, as each day passes, if he will continue this streak and become a bah humbug neighbor. He didn't put lights on his house and I don't remember seeing a tree. Hopefully I'm wrong, but if I had to guess what goes on behind that red door of his....I'd think it goes a little like this:

Gobble Gobble Gobble

This is a week full of family, friends, and remembering what we are thankful for.

This is also the beginning of the holiday season. A season which is often hard for those who have lost loved ones, jobs, friends, etc.

So take the time and say thanks to those around you, even if you think they know that you appreciate them....tell them anyway. You might be that one bright light for them that brings that smile on their face.

As for me, I may not have a full time job or the promise of one in the near future but right now, I feel more blessed than ever before. I thank all of you for listening to me ramble, rate and rave and I thank you for what you bring to my life!

I hope you all have a safe, wonderful and very Happy Thanksgiving....I'll talk to you again after my jeans fit a little tighter!

Oh...and Hook 'em Horns!

Grab a tissue...

My mom sent this to me today and somehow I've never seen it.

I got a little teary eyed a little over halfway thru, I'd forgotton how beautiful our national anthem is.

These are 5 girls ages 6-8 with the most incredible harmony.

Enjoy!

Extra Extra Read All About It!

This week I filled up my car (something I don't always do) and I put in premium gas (again, something I don't always do but I should.)

And my friends......

An entire fill up, on premium gas, was less than $28.00!!!!!!!!!!!

I was so excited I almost peed a little.

fantasy #1....check

Today, I was a substitute in one of my favorite schools in the district. I had met several of my students during prior sub gigs and student teaching days.

As the students were completing their warm-ups, this one sweet boy walked up to my desk, smiled and handed me a shiny red apple. The best part is, he didn't bring this apple to his normal teacher...he knew me and knew that I'd be subbing in his class today.

I wish there was a way to explain to him how much that simple gesture meant to me. It was awesome.

Pure Optimism

On my way home from subbing today I thought....How much would you smile tomorrow if you knew that tomorrow was the only day that you could smile the whole week? Would you take advantage of every moment? Would you go beyond smiling and laugh?

Me? I'd try my best to make someone else smile because then.....I'd know that even though it was MY only day to smile, I could make it contagious for someone else.

One of the biggest compliments I've ever been given was when someone told me that I'm one of the most optimistic people they know. This was such a huge compliment because its one of my biggest goals.

If you've kept tabs on me over the past few months, you know that optimistic was not a word to describe me at certain points during this time. Thankfully....this has been a great week.

I found something this week that I hope will keep me optimistic and remind me of all we have to be thankful for. As BF would tell you, I love me some Jon and Kate + 8....seriously, watch the show....cutest kids.

Anyway, their new ads have this incredible song playing in the background and it's my new obsession. I'll attach the video but while you watch it ....read the words. This is the stuff we should be reading each day.

I hope this song makes you smile and gets you thru your hard days.



Hey child up and go
-Big world is out there waiting for us to
live in every day

Outside you will find
there is love all around you
-Takes you, makes you wanna' say

That it's a beautiful life
and it's a beautiful world
and it's a beautiful time
to be here, to be here, to be here

The sky's blue
-just us two
Side by side we'll see the world
that surrounds us
-Hey, seize the day

Each road - every mile's a photograph in motion
to astound us, carry us away

into a beautiful life
'Cause it's a beautiful world
and it's a beautiful time
to be here, to be here

Leave all your cares behind you
The sun is rising
Turn around -it's right in front of you
and it's a beautiful life
and it's a beautiful time
to be here, to be here, to be here

Visa Keychain

So, as you know I had to change all of my account info because of the virus I got last weekend. After waiting for what seemed like weeks to get my replacement card, it finally arrived.

Thankfully, my bank was able to provide me with a temporary card that looks exactly like my credit card just with the name "Preferred Customer"

The genius at my bank decided she needed to write "Please See ID" on the back of this card.

um......

Sorry, but the name on my drivers license is not Preferred Customer. Here's your sign.

Back to this week....I get my new card and the fine people at VISA or my bank (I'm not sure which) have created an easier way for you to spend your money, A keychain VISA card.

I'm not even kidding...for those of you with laptops, its smaller that the touchpad on your laptop and you're supposed to attach it to your keychain.

Am I the only one who thinks that you have to be a complete idiot to utilize this?

Are you really that stupid to hang your credit card on a keychain??

Here's Your Sign. Happy Monday!

That mean old man

I have a new perspective on the man you grew up referring to as "that mean old man." This new perspective was gained when I realized that he lives across the street from us.

He is that man who lives alone, is a bit older and really keeps to himself. We didn't meet him until we'd lived there for over 6 months.

He is quiet but polite, not overly conversational but well educated. And up until a few weeks ago, I just thought he was a nice old man.

And then Halloween arrived......

It was around 7pm, just as the sun was starting to set, and I was a little disappointed as we were still waiting the arrival of our first trick-or-treater of 2008. Finally, the doorbell rang and cheerleader and Redskins football player were wide-eyed at our door (wide-eyed because our house was pretty spooky this year). As I was handing out candy, complimenting the costumes and saying hello to the parents I noticed the man across the street open his door. He glanced over to our house, I smiled and waved and he walked out to the side of his house. I didn't think anything of it and I said goodbye to the kiddos. And then, I heard it....

tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, purrrrrrrrr

The jerk (formally known as man) had turned his sprinklers on!!!! He walked back inside, shut the door and turned his porch light off.

I was so mad...and the worst part is that his sprinklers were positioned so they sprayed all the way to the curb so any kids walking by would have to walk out into the street to avoid getting wet!!!!

I haven't said anything to the aforementioned jerk and I don't really know what or if I will say....but let me tell you this....NEXT YEAR, that will not happen.

And if you have been that jerk on Halloween, DON'T!!! You don't have to give out candy, you don't even have to answer the door....just don't be THAT house!

Election Day....dun dun dunnnnnn

I voted last week during early voting...I've never seen so many people turn out! I only had to wait in line about 10 minutes and the church had cookies! Score!

I won't get into the politics because I'm exhausted from this election but I will say this:

After I voted, an elderly gentleman was waiting for me at the exit doors. He extended his hand, shook my hand, gave me a sticker that said "My Vote Counted" and said, "Thank you for doing your civic duty once again."

Something about that moment left me feeling incredibly empowered. I burst thru the doors and immediately looked for the news crew that I was sure wanted to get a statement from me...after all, I just did my civic duty!!!

Yeah...there was no one there. But I voted and I'm not kidding, it made my day. I hope you all will vote too.

Apologies and Updates

I'm SO sorry...

Ok...top ten things that have kept me from updating:

10. My computer is still partially infected. BF's cousin was able to remove the virus but there are some files that he couldn't get off. Since they can't work, they just sit there and suck up all of my memory therefore causing my computer to take at least 10 minutes to open a web page (not kidding)
9. I've had several interviews! Yahoo! I'll keep you posted.
8. I've been spending a lot of time in the classroom..another Yahoo!
7. I've started substitute teaching.
6. I'm still not finished painting the house (BF is not happy about this one).
5. My Dad came in town on business and I spent time as his side kick.
4. We went out of town to BF's alma mater for homecoming.
3. I'm bitter about the loss to Texas Tech...but surprisingly shocked that we're still in the top 5!
2. I'm shopping for a lighter orange than I usually buy and a cherry red as I'll be cheering for the OK State Cowboys and OU Sooners in the coming weeks.

And the number one and most important reason:
1. I had a really horrible 10 days or so. Seriously people, it was bad...it is the most depressed that I've ever been. If someone you know is unemployed...PLEASE...take a moment and call them or shoot them an email just to see how things are going. And PLEASE....DO NOT SAY THESE WORDS TO THEM, "So, how's the job hunt going?" I guarantee you, if they have found a job they probably wont answer your call during the workday or they'll take at least 2 days to respond to your email. They need to know that you are calling to see how THEY are doing, not their job search. I have always considered myself to be an optimist and a positive person. But the past few weeks I have felt worthless as a person and a member of society, I didnt feel like I deserved to go vote because I wasn't contributing to society.

Unemployment has affected every aspect of my life...I am so sensitive to everything as I'm already down to begin with. Some days I didn't want to get out of bed...and with my computer broken, I didn't have the resources to search for jobs. I have to say that I've never appreciated my BF more...he has been so supportive of me and he has held his tongue (for the most part) when needed and he's been able to share his feelings/concerns when appropriate. He has given me a peptalk and this is a much better week but it is definitely a day to day struggle.

So, basically...I apologize for not updating and THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone that emailed me...I feel so popular and loved...I appreciate you checking in on me and if nothing else, this experience has shown me who my friends really are....you mean more than you know!

I promise to do better but I can only update from BFs computer so it may be splotchy for awhile.

Nothin but love for ya!

I-Scream for Ice Cream

Why is it that when you crave some ice cream and you know you shouldn't indulge....at that very moment the ice cream lid decides to suction cup itself to the ice cream container? So, you proceed to pry open the side while rotating the container in 1 inch incraments so many times that you actually go around the container twice. Finally, after you're exhausted and your hand and forearm are cold and sticky, the lid is removed.

At this point, I'm so irritated that I don't even want ice cream anymore.

But you can bet I eat it anyway.

Infected...round 2

Last time I was infected was this past summer with the sinus infection from Hades that just wouldn't go away.

This time...it's different.

Since joining the masses in the unemployment line, I've been spending a large amount of time on my trusty laptop. It's seriously shocking...I take it with me out in the front yard attached to an extension chord and set it on top of the bushes while painting the house...I've become obsessed with One Tree Hill. (Never watched the show and I've caught up all the way thru Season 3.)

Since I don't have a tv hooked up to Fios in the kitchen, I am on my laptop while cooking, flipping back and forth between a recipe online and catching up on the shows I missed the previous week (90210, Brothers and Sisters, Desp Housewives, Greys, Private Practice, Fringe...you get the idea.) I've been a good girlfriend and willingly missed my favorite shows realizing I can catch up online.

ANYWAY...back to the point. Last week I ran a full system scan on my computer with both McAfee and Windows Defender. During the scan, Windows Defender popped up and said I had spyware on my computer but didnt have spyware protection. I followed the suggested link and purchased XP Antispyware 2009. This is where things started to go wrong.

I scanned with XP Antispyware and found all kinds of Adware and Spyware and promptly clicked "Remove" and continued on my way. This happened every day for a week. Sunday night I started getting every fake pop up known to man. Things saying I was infected, I needed anti-adware, the server was busy and I needed to try again. When I hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete it said that my task manager had been disabled by the System Administrator. (Um...note to hard drive.. I AM THE SYSTEM ADMIN...I didn't disable ANYTHING!!!)

So, I downloaded an online system scan and found 345 infected items...none of which could be removed unless I purchased the program.

SH*T

I called geek squad and the convo went something like this:

Me: "Um, hi. Something's wrong."
Geek: "Ok, what happened."
Me: "My background says I'm infected instead of the picture of me with a beer like it's supposed to be. I keep getting popups and it says I have Trojans, Spyware, Adware and something called a Rogue."
Geek: "Ok, when and how did this start?"
Me: "Well, last week I bought XP Antispyware 2009"
Geek: *Large Gasp*
Me: "What?"
Geek: "You bought a virus."
Me: "Sh*t. Oh, um...sorry. I mean crap."
Geek: "Do you have the Geek Squad protection plan?"
Me: "Of course not."

You get the idea.

Basically, this XP Antispyware 2009 is a scam. What makes it worse is that I paid for it!! Thats right, I put in my information and credit card number and asked to be infected!!!!

The bad news, the scam is so new that no antivirus software will pick up on it, remove it or fix it. And Geek Squad will charge me $199 to fix it.

The even bad-er news is that I had to go to the bank, change all of my account information and cancel my credit cards.

The good news is that nothing unusual had been charged on my credit card AND BF's cousin is a computer wiz and is fixing it for me (THANK GOODNESS.)

And to kick me when I'm down, I found that there was a monthly maintenance charge on my account for $5.95. When I asked what this was, I was informed that it was a fee charged because I don't have a direct deposit into my account anymore. So basically, they are punishing me because I got laid off. THANKS! Piece of ....

So, I'm all about having a moral for every story. Here's how you avoid this happening to you.

Are you ready?

This is BIG.

NEVER...and I repeat, NEVER run a scan on your computer while connected to the internet. Either turn off the internet button or unplug your cord. Because, it wasn't Windows Defender that popped up saying I needed to buy Anti Spyware, it was Spyware already on my computer that reacted when I started scanning it.

How I've gotten to this point without knowing this crucial information is beyond me.

I think I might arrange a seminar for young women and teach them the things I never learned but should have.

I'm thinking:
~How travel on your own (2001)
~how to paint (2001)
~how to use a lawnmower (2001)
~how to hang a light fixture (2001)
~how to check the dip stick(2002)
~how to start over in life and in love (2002)
~how to interview (2003)
~how to cold call (2003)
~how to manage 10 kids under the age of 10 (2004)
~how to check your tires to see if the strings are showing (2005)
~how to handle a stalker/crazy (2004 & 2006)
~how to groom a dog (2006)
~how to plant a garden (2007)
~how to cook (2007)
~how to cook healthy meals (2008)
~how to run a system scan (2008)
~how to handle getting laid off and how not to handle it(date to be determined)

I'm hoping it will help me fine tune my teaching skills. I'm going to charge $29.99 per person....are you in?

dangit..i'm it again.

Texas Lauren at Must Love Dogs and My Parakeet tagged me again for this meme today. Here are 11 of my favorite things.


1. Clothes Shop

Well, since becoming part of the massive unemployment line, I haven't done much shopping. And really, even before that, I didn't really have favorite shops...more like favorite items. I love hoodies and flip flops, A-ine dresses and jackets. I don't care if my clothes are designer or resale, target or neimans.


2. Furniture Shop

hmm...same as above except to add garage and estate sales, hand me downs and gifts from mom.


3. City

Wow, in the US it's probably Keystone, CO. It's where I learned to ski, it's where my family had a winter house before the real estate crash of the 80s and I love going back to ski there. Summit county rocks.

Outside the US, probably a small town in Italy, Bassano del Grappa. It was the closest town to an even smaller town where I studied my junior year in college. Something about the lifestyle, the people, the pace, the wine, I loved it.

4. Sweet

I have a huge sweet tooth. I love peppermint ice cream (surprisingly not Blue Bell...I like the Dreyer's brand), my grannys chocolate chip cookies, and anything with cool whip.


5. Drink

Wine!

6. Music

I have a wierd taste in music...I like almost anything. I have to be able to understand the words and it has to tell a story. My favorite groups are John Mayer, Mercy Me, Sara Bareillis, George Strait, Clint Black, Rascal Flatts, Barry White, etc.

7. TV series

Grey's Anatomy, Lost, The Bachelor or Bachelorette, The Hills, Desp. Housewives, Brothers and Sisters, Coupling, Friends, ER, Private Practice, Jon and Kate Plus 8 and One Tree Hill. Also, I loved What about Brian (shame on ABC for cancelling it)

8. Film

Sleepless in Seattle, Home for the Holidays, Fletch, Bridget Jones' Diary, and my favorites from this year were Ironman and Definitely Maybe.


9. Workout

Hahahahahahahah. Yeah. My workouts lately have consisted of climbing up and down ladders painting the exterior of the house.

10. Pastries

Belive it or not, I'm not a huge pastry fan Although, there is a great little kolache place down the street from us. And as my former coworkers will tell you, there is a difference in a kolache and a danish, haha.

11. Coffee

Coffee was invented by the ptople who attended the first business or sales meetings. It is a survival tool for any meeting prior to 10am. However, now that I'm unemployed, I haven't stopped drinking it. I like mine with French Vanilla creamer and peppermint creamer during the winter (sensing a theme?) If I'm not making it and someone is buying it for me, I love pumpkin spice lattes, japanese coffee and peppermint mochas (i know...its a problem)

This is typically where I tag others but instead I'd like to ask you guys to say a prayer for my friend Lauren who just lost her grandfather yesterday. I've never met her but I enjoy her blogs and she's far from home right now which I'm sure is tough for her. Please say a little prayer for her and her family.

"Howdy ya'll, I'm Big Tex"

Top Ten Things That I saw/loved/hated at the 2008 Texas State Fair:

#10. Normal people pay 9 tickets ($4.50) per beer. We find a tent, slide them some cash on the side and have a code word "Andy" and pay 7 tickets per beer all day.

#9. Having a Fletcher's corny dog with mustard for breakfast while holding on to the person in front of you trying not to get seperated while making our way thru the sea of red and orange to get to the stadium. Oh and by the way, it's Corny Dog NOT Corn Dog...get it straight.

#8. Sitting in the Lexus that I love at the car show and realize that it's only fancy on the outside and I can save my $75K for something else...maybe the Infiniti G37!

#7. Seeing all of the hilarious TX OU shirts that people made...my favorite this year was "You can't spell C*cks*cker without OU" haha...tacky but funny.

#6. Going to the nicest steakhouse in town for dinner in flip flops, tshirts, jeans, shorts, etc and fitting right in for that night only.

#5. Seeing people pay $200 a pop to get their teeth whitened at the fair (I should have taken a picture). We think part of the reason was to just have a chair to recline in for an hour. Seriously, teeth whitening...at the fair?? Won't the mustard and beer counteract that?

#4. Fried Snickers. We decided against this years fried specialty of chicken fried bacon. Seriously...to those of you who ate that...what were you thinking? In years past we've tried fried oreos, fried coke, etc. Fried snickers were pretty freaking good. BF now wants to have a Fryday. We get a fry daddy and everyone brings random stuff to fry and we try it all. I think if we top everything with powdered sugar it should be good! you're all invited.

#3. Each year we randomly run into some good friends that we haven't seen in ages. Last year it was friends from the media world, one of which slapped BF's a$$ (and then was embarassed when he realized he knew us) and this year it was my brothers best friend and his wife and kids...how random!

#2. Witnessing one of the best football games and seeing the Texas fans act like class acts after the game. Seriously, the OU fans have never been that nice/calm after the game and I'm so proud of the fans I saw. For those who did act like punks, we need to talk.

#1. Sham WOW!!! Thats right kids...I am now the proud owner of ShamWOW! I saw the demonstration, raised my hand to get a free set and saved $6 over what I'd pay ordering them online. I was so excited, I told random people about it and BF laughed at me. In case you aren't aware of the WOWness of ShamWOW...check it.


Tomorrow's game is against Mizzou, #1 is a scary place so cheer on my Horns....Hook 'em!

I don't heckle.

Ok, I promise after today, I will get off of my longhorn soapbox but can I just say that yesterdays game was one of the best Red River Shootout games that I've ever seen.

And, I think anyone who knows me would agree that I don't heckle the losing team if my team wins and I'm pretty much a classy fan. We met a really nice OU couple on the dart ride back to our car yesterday and even watched out for them when a drunk Texas fan tried to heckle them.

THAT BEING SAID...I would like to gloat to any of you who simply root against Texas. This is not to the OU FANS...these are to the people who root for OU NOT because they love OU or have any loyalty to them, but ONLY because they hate Texas. To you people, I say, "Nannie nannie boo boo! Hook 'em Horns Baby!"

There were bad calls on both sides all day long...in the end, our 10 point victory was large enough that the victory can't be challenged.

Oklahoma has some incredible players and it scares me that their QB is only a sophomore. They definitely out played us in the first half.

But a huge round of applause goes to my Horns!!! What a stellar performance and if you have never been to this game, I highly recommend it...the atmosphere is unmatched.

And, of course, I've included some photos and video. More stories from the Texas State Fair to come!

Hook 'Em!

It's 7:30am and we're getting ready to head out to the game...seriously people, why pick the 11am game for TX/OU...that means I have to have a cornydog for breakfast and beer instead of coffee! Indigestion, here I come.

Anyway, to get you thru the next 3 1/2 hours before kick off, enjoy THIS

It's official, OU Sucks! Hook 'em Horns!!!

Red River Shootout 2008

Hook 'Em Horns!!

Tomorrow is the big game and we will be there in our burnt orange. For those who don't know, kick off is 11am central and I'm sure it'll be on ABC or another network.

To get you all pumped up and ready to get your horns up, please enjoy these great videos. And if you just can't get enough, check out Quick's Red River Rap Battle for this year b/t TX/OU.

100th post-what an honor

Wow...I had no idea that this was the 100th post when I sat down tonight to blog.

Months ago, I thought about what I'd write today...and what an honor it would be to write this post...and what an honor it is to me that you read it. And now that its here, it's actually perfect because I'd like to honor someone very special with this 100th blog.

An extended family member of mine was honored this weekend for a lifetime of service. He had an Elementary School named after him and I was lucky enough to attend the ceremony.

During the ceremony, they told stories about him...how he hit the first home run in the first game of the first ever College World Series...how he was an educator, a principal, a superintendent and a friend. They also read a few items from his personnel file.

When you apply for a teaching job, you're asked to write your Philosophy of Education and they read his:

"I believe in child centered schools.
I believe our teachers should recognize the need of teaching reading, writing and arithmatic
But that music, art, reading for pleasure and getting along with others is just as important.
I feel that individual differences must be recognized and that these differences must be taken in consideration by the teacher."
-Hobbs Williams, 1956

When you really think about what he said, it is absolutely amazing how he viewed the depth of education, diversity and individuality in our children and in our schools. And as the Principal stated, his philosophy from the 50s is what is taught today, almost as if he could see the future of education. During the dedication, we were pleasantly surprised to learn that they honored his wife, a long time educator in the district, by naming the library after her.

Lastly, I just want to say how important it is to honor the living. Many of these awards are given posthumously, but seeing him accept this honor, it reminded me of how important and special it is to honor people while they are still with is, while they can enjoy it.

Go Wolves! And thanks for being a part of my first 100 blogs.

AWESOME

I don't usually preempt my own blog but I saw this today and thought it was definitely worth it. So watch this and then scroll down and read my other blog for today (so that it doesn't feel cheated)

The once dreaded 3 to 5

When I was working in the corporate world, I hated two things. Early morning staff meetings (this is when I started drinking coffee) and the 3 to 5pm time frame. My sister-in-law used to call me and we would laugh about how to survive the 3 to 5pm hours. One trip to the breakroom to buy a diet coke, two trips to the ladies room (walking slowly along the way), one trip to the stock room for post-its or mail, and so on....those alone would waste about 45 minutes.

Now that I'm unemployed, I have a different feeling about 3 to 5pm. Usually, I'm doing some chore around the house or preparing dinner. But yesterday, I found something that reallly made me smile.

So yesterday I was painting the house and was outside from about noon until 8pm. I found myself paying a lot of attention to what was going on in the neighborhood and I can now see how you can go crazy when you retire and have nothing to do but watch the neighborhood.

Side Story:
(Last week, I called one of my neighbors at work to see if he had another neighbors phone number because his garage door was up. He came home and told me my new profession would be the neighborhood watch captain.)

While painting yesterday, I waved at the school bus (not kidding) as it drove by after 3pm, said hello to Keith, our mailman, and greeted the DHL guy on his pick up.

It made me laugh how the neighborhood was silent until about 3:30pm when the mail was delivered and school was let out. With the exception of the occasional passing car, all I heard were birds, dogs and of course, the re-run of One Tree Hill I was watching on Hulu

But then, after 3:30pm, you gradually heard bikes, rollerblades and kids walking home or playing in the front yard. Suddenly, within about 15 minutes, the neighborhood was no longer quiet. Neighboring stay-at-home moms plugged in their extension cords to inflate their giant inflatable halloween decorations, sprinklers were turned on and dogs were walked. It was as if life was on hold while school was in session.

Around 5pm, Dads started coming home from work. Kids ran out to greet them yelling "Daddy" and I even saw a woman with one of those half aprons on, walking out to greet her husband. It was like I was transplanted into the 1950s and it was amazing.

It makes you realize the energy and excitement (and noise) that children generate. Although it doesn't seem as though this is the right time for me to go into teaching due to the economy and the fact that there are no teaching jobs in this city, I can't wait to one day become a part of that world. Until then, you can bet that each day I'm unemployed, I'll step outside sometime after 3 to witness the neighborhood transformation.

Maybe I'll even make a batch of crystal light or sweet tea for old times sake.

P all over the place

Haha, that title made me laugh.

So, a little update...no job. No prospects, no clue where I'm headed.

I have people ask me 4500 times a day, haha.

Anyway, I realized that my life the past few weeks is composed of all things P.

I've already mentioned my oh-so-fab Margherita Pizza. See below...isn't it a beaut?



I've been painting for over a week now...and I'm just now halfway thru.

I have to call the plumber to fix the leak in the bathroom and the pest control guy to spray for carpenter ants.

Normally I wouldn't have the time to think about the things on my "to do" list and realize that they all start with P. Unemployment will do that to the brain.

Hope your week is going fabulously! Happy Fall to all of you

My week.

We decided to take on the daunting task of painting the outside of the house. First off, painting sucks. Mainly because I like having money in my bank account so I don't pay anyone else to paint for me.

I've been painting for two days straight and I'm not even halfway done with the first coat...WHAT IS THAT ABOUT!!!

On a separate note...SHAMELESS PLUG for this month's Cooking Light magazine. I highly recommend the Margherita Pizza made from scratch, it is incredible!!! I've made 3 of them! And conversely, and I seriously warn you against the 3 cheese macaroni...it tastes like melted blue cheese and noodles.

Happy Monday everyone!

Ouch

For those of you who watched the game yesterday, I'm sure this made you sick.

All I can say is...OUCH!!

Overdue pictures

Well, life prior to my layoff seems years ago and so I'd forgotten to post these pictures from BF's birthday.

Enjoy!

Do we really need greeters?

I don't understand the point of greeters. Other than Walmart, I've never seen a greeter with an actual purpose. At least with Walmart, the "greeter" or "elderly person" is incharge of putting a little sticker on each of the items you're returning and verifying that you didn't steal anything when your bag sounds off the alarm.

When I worked in retail, there was always an employee assigned to the front of the store for the same purpose as the Walmart greeter. But usually, we ended up harassing any potential clients. My favorite is when someone had just stepped foot into the store and we ask, "Good morning! Can I help you find anything?" and what do they answer? "No thanks, I'm just looking."

But I still can understand the purpose of that kind of greeter as you need someone near the door in case someone is going to steal something. But really, do we need to feel all warm and cozy when entering an establishment? Has there been some study proving that cozy people spend more money?

Here's what I don't understand. Yesterday I go to the bank to deposit the last of my severance/commission checks and I'm accosted by a bank greeter. A bank greeter!! In a time when unemployment is at a record high, we seriously have a need for a position as a greeter at the bank??

Think about it.

If I want to start a new account, I'm going to go to someone sitting behind a desk. If I want pretty much anything else, I'm going to go to the ATM or to a teller. The ONLY way I wouldn't know where I'm going is if I was 12 and opening my very first savings account. And in that case, I'm probably with my Mom or have been to the bank with my Mom enough times that I know whats up.

Yet, I have this young lady say, "Good afternoon, Ma'am. What can we help you with today?"

I wanted to say, "You can help me by not delaying me any further than I'm already delayed by having to actually walk into the bank because you don't have a drive thru at this location. So why don't you go make a fresh pot of coffee and stop annoying me. Oh, and don't call me Ma'am."

In reality I just shook my head and tried not to make eye contact, in the same way I handle the perfume sample ladies at the mall.

September 11th

I've been amazed today to see that September 11th seems to be just another day again. I hope that each of you will remember what happened just a few years ago and make an effort to never forget.

Take a moment, take a breath, take time to remember those we lost, those who became heroes and those who still are our heroes and protectors.....fighting for us every day, in every country.

Here are some of the pictures I took on our trip to Ground Zero this past June.

God bless our troops, God bless those affected by 9/11 and God bless America.

Those who can't.....

"Those who can DO, those who can't TEACH" ah, isn't that a lovely saying? Doesn't it motivate those educators that are then supposed to motivate our youth?

Most of you don't know that I've decided to pursue teaching. And to answer your question, yes..I started this process before I got laid off.

One of my best friends called me in July to discuss the possibility of teaching and I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. That phone call was a blessing. She gave me the final push I needed to get this process started, something I'd been thinking about for several years.

I was accepted into the program and am already halfway thru my content course.

I'm so excited about molding young minds....hahaha.

So here is my challenge to each of you. Think back to your best and worst teachers. I want to know what each of them did to make them the best or the worst.

Mine...Mrs. Tull in 3rd grade taught me creativity, passion and a love for animals.
Mrs. M* in 7th grade math made me hate math and fear it for the rest of my education. (I might end up teaching math to prevent this in the future)

I had too many great teachers to name....so do me a favor...next time you meet a teacher, instead of giving them a look of pity for accepting such a tiny salary, shake their hand and thank them for devoting their lives to what they do. Happy Tuesday everyone!

Change, the ugly duckling.

It is amazing to me how change affects each of us. I used to think that change was my friend. I loved the way it would creep up and surprise me, most of the time with things that I had never thought of. I thought it was exciting, new, and challenging. There were times when I knew it was coming….because it was inevitable and we all expected it. And there were times when no one could’ve predicted it because it was coming whether we wanted it or not. It was like change, fate and destiny were all the best of friends and had the most creative of imaginations.

Most people don’t like change….even if they say they do. They don’t like change in their routines, in the bottom of their purse or collecting space on their nightstand. Change is that friend that is often uncomfortable, often unwelcome and usually takes a lot of getting used to.

But lately, no matter how much I used to love it, I’m not a fan of change and I haven’t been able to see it coming. Lately, change seems to be constant. Change seems to be all around me and the people that I love.

But when you think about change, whether it be in your life or in your pocket, it only really makes a difference when there’s a lot of it. In the big picture of life, a little change doesn’t amount to anything. But the more you have, the more opportunities you have to do something with it.

So I’ve decided that I’m no longer going to be afraid of it….I’m no longer going to dread it’s presence. Instead, I’m going to keep track of it and count it. Because, each time change appears, I’m a little bit closer to using it for something I really need.

cyclical guilt

I sat here for about 10 minutes staring at a blank screen. You see, I have so much to say but can't seem to form it into a point. This week has been incredibly interesting for me. I'm definitely out of my comfort zone.

As I've been looking for a job, I've been busier than I ever thought an unemployed person would be. Yet as busy as I've been, I can't help but feel a little useless at the end of the day. And so I don't let myself have an end of my day.

When I was working, I was the type of person who could truly leave work at work and when I got home, my brain was free of stress/worry/etc hence why I could totally immerse myself in an episode of reality tv.

But now, even blogging, I'm overcome with guilt about the impact I should be making that I'm not...right here, right now.

I've never been the type of person who experienced guilt...mainly because I don't do things that I have to say I'm sorry for. And I didn't do anything wrong in this situation, yet I feel guilty.

ALL.THE.TIME.

So my first thought on how to end this time period in my life is to find a job as quickly as possible. However, I don't want to just take ANY job...I want to find another job that I love as much as I loved my last one.

And the circle continues....here's hoping something jumps out and stops me from spinning.

oh..and a big PS-please....under no circumstances, please do not baby talk me. I may be unemployed and it may suck, but I cannot stand to get voicemails or phone calls from those with the baby talk voice saying, "heeeyyyyyyy, hooooooww arrrrrrrreee youuuuuuuuu?" Nothing is more annoying.

"Life's a B*tch and then you get laid off"

This was the subject of an email I received today from a good friend comforting me after my first official layoff yesterday. It was the 3rd layoff I've been thru in my professional career but the first one that I didn't survive.

I was shocked. Maybe shocked isn't the appropriate word, I don't that there is one. I had absolutely no warning, no signs, no knowledge that the company, or my job, was in danger.

Typically the salespeople are safe in any company as they need money coming in. Apparently, things are bad at my former job because 20% of the entire company and 75% of the sales team were laid off...leaving one guy in sales and half the # of employees that were with the company when I started a year and a half ago.

Let me back up and tell you that I'm good at my job. (or I was good at my job). I'd never received anything but raving reviews from my bosses and I was just offered a promotion. Unfortunately for me, these layoffs were not performance based.

And, unfortunately for me, there wasn't anything "common" about my job. It was kind of a niche operation and mine was kind of a niche position. What does this mean? This means that there are no competitors to go to....no comparable positions, companies or salaries to fill this hole.

So, here's me.....at square one.

It's amazing the perspective you gain about the important things in life when you're faced with a life changing situation. Just two days ago I blogged about what I'm thankful for and thank goodness my #1 was what it was....because I'm going to be okay.

I have no idea what I'll do or where I'll land but something just tells me that I'm going to be ok. So...they say these things happen in 3s...I had 2 of them this week, bring it on #3!

Oh, and if you know of anyone wanting to hire an incredibly bright, witty and all around fantastic gal, let me know! Hook 'em horns!

High from High School

After I blogged yesterday about appreciating my age and the things I've learned, I went to the local high school during lunch. BF and I are going to the football game tonight and I needed to get tickets. Normally we buy them at the stadium but this is a fairly big game so I wanted to get them early. Now keep in mind that I went to high school with 172 other people in my class, probably a little over 600 in the entire school. This is BF's high school and he graduated with over 1500 in his class alone! Needless to say, it's quite a bit larger.

So, I call the school to find out where to buy tickets and where the office is located on the campus (over 7 buildings, each larger than my school). I arrive and quickly ask the first student I see to verify that I'm headed to the right set of doors. I enter and realize that I've arrived in the middle of the passing period as there are hundreds of students bumping into me and racing around me.

And these aren't the students that I went to high school with. I'm dressed for work and I'm underdressed compared to these kids. The girls have on heels and adorable straight-out-of-vogue outfits on, the boys have polos and popped collars, there are no backpacks in sight but they all have blackberrys and iphones!!! Is this 90210?? (starts Tuesday by the way Can.Not.Wait)

I finally find the student affairs office and wait for the student in front of me to finish. When it was my turn, I told the lady that I needed 2 football tickets.

"Student?" she said.
"Haha, oh I love that. No, 2 adults. Thanks"

At this time, the bell rings and students in the halls hurry off to class. I'm so relieved that I won't have to dodge them as I leave the school. As I'm putting the tickets away, another bell rings. I'd forgotten that there are two bells...the bell to tell you to get to class and then the tardy bell.

Anyway, I thank the nice lady, head out of the office (relieved that I'm the only one in the hall and I can now exhale) when I hear someone yelling at the students.

Things like "Miss, you need to get to class."

I can so remember being late to class and hoping I got there before the tardy bell.
And then I hear it again.

"Miss."
"Miss!"
"MISS!!!!"

At this point I turn around to see what idiot isn't moving fast enough. I realize that idiot is...ME!!

"Are you talking to me?" I ask.

"Um, YES. MISS, you are late, YOU NEED TO GET TO CLASS NOW" he sternly states.

[Insert laughter here]

Thats right kids, I was mistaken for a high school kid. After regaining my composure, I thank the gentleman for the compliment, explain that I'm not a student, just here on my lunch break, and quickly leave the school. A little lighter in my step, in fact, I think I might've skipped once or twice.

Motto of this story: If you're feeling sassy and put together, go visit your local high school, they'll show you up. If you're feeling overwhelmed, go visit your local high school during passing period, you might die. If you're feeling old, go visit your local high school, nothing like getting yelled at by a teacher to make you feel younger!

Po Po Patrol

On my drive home yesterday I noticed 3 police officers standing at the end of my street. Thankfully I was going the speed limit and I was very pleased to see that they were running radar on people driving down the cross street. I quietly laughed to myself as I realized that I'm at the point in my life where I appreciate the police presence instead of hide from it.

Now I don't consider myself to be old by any means...BUT...I have noticed that I am older and with that age/time, has come the appreciation for different things.

So here, my friends, is a top 10 list for you.

Top 10 Things I appreciate NOW, that I didn't THEN

10. I appreciate the law and I respect it. In my younger years, I was always fearful of getting in trouble. I didn't really do much that warranted this fear other than speeding. Now I appreciate it when I see a police officer driving thru my neighborhood or several of them having a meal at a local restaurant. It gives me peace of mind.

9. I appreciate the look of a nicely manicured lawn. I secretly wish we had an HOA because I think I could win that award every once in awhile and because that guy a few streets down would NOT be able to have all of that crap in his yard.

8. I appreciate the news. Not because I used to work in TV, but because I actually enjoy knowing what is going on in the world (unless its a story about an animal being hurt, and in that case, i don't want to know)

7. I appreciate low gas prices. My parents used to always play a little game in the car where they'd teach me to point out low gas prices...I still don't know how they made that fun, but it was...and I play that game every day!

6. I appreciate coffee. I used to love waking up to the smell of it but I never liked the taste of it. I never drank coffee until I started working and experienced such a thing as an 8am sales meeting. Now I have coffee everymorning.

5. I appreciate photos. When I was younger, even in college, I always wanted to be IN the photos but I never took any. Because of this, I have very few photos of my college years as my mom wasn't there to take them and I didn't shell out the $5 for every party time sorority photo.

4. I appreciate the wisdom of others. Now, more than ever, I wish I could sit down with each of my grandparents and talk candidly with them about everything under the sun. Most of those questions start with, "How did you handle, how did you get thru, how did you know?"

3. I appreciate my education. I think the 4 years (okay 5) of college allowed me time and room to grow. I respect anyone who started working straight out of high school because there is no way I would've had the discipline to be a good employee. I learned so much about life and who I wanted to be. Most of what I learned from college wasn't in the classroom.

2. I appreciate good food and fine wine. I remember the days when we would eat anything if it was free and drink anything if it was alcohol (seriously, natty light? what were we thinking?) I don't always spring for the "good" wine but I definitely have a preference for what I like and I won't just drink anything I find. And now that I enjoy cooking so much, I appreciate it any time we go out to eat and I know that someone worked hard to put that food on my plate.

And the number one thing I appreciate NOW, that I didn't THEN
1. I appreciate a budget and a sound financial mind. So many of my friends do not make smart choices when it comes to their finances. I hate to see/hear that and I wish I could help but financial stability will only develop when you're ready to be disciplined. Current BF could write a book on financial responsibility and I'm lucky enough to be in a situation where he's able to rub off on me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not rich at all but if you ever need pointers on where to pinch and save, I've got a ton!

What if..

This week I've read some pretty devastating stories. Stories that made me ache for those involved, stories that made me want to help.

One particular story was gut wrenching and involved someone else who was in a similar situation to me and experienced one of my biggest fears. And she was asking for help. Financially.

She had posted a link where anyone could donate to help her get thru this tough time, if they so desired. I immediately got out my credit card to help. But for some reason, I couldn't get myself to click on the "Donate" button.

I didn't donate and for that, I'm ashamed. But I couldn't help asking myself all of those "What if" questions. What if this is a scam? What if the donation website isn't legit? What if they take out more than I allocated? What if it sets me up for recurring withdrawl? What if I get my identity stolen?

All of these paranoid thoughts kept me from helping this person. And it got me thinking. I've volunteered for many charitable causes and tried to get donations. I've been at the mall, trying to stop those who are walking by with a flyer, on the phone trying to get someone to listen and not hang up and even at your door, trying to get you to buy girl scout cookies. I've often been the one asking people to donate to various causes I've supported...and I've judged those who wouldn't give me the time of day and for turning their backs. And here I am now, in their shoes, and I do the same.

When I worked downtown, I passed homeless people on the street on a daily basis. My friends and family always told me not to give them money by saying "they're faking it" or "they'll use it to buy drugs or alcohol." So instead, I would bring them anything leftover from lunch and I always kept a pack of bottled water in the car to give out. Because frankly, even if they are faking it, even if they are addicted, this is Texas. It's hot, they have a reason for being there and I am a good person.

I've always been the first one to throw stones at selfish people because I never considered myself as selfish, until today.

I've since emailed her for her mailing address so I could mail her a cash donation but I still don't feel good about how much I questioned her. When in reality, the "What If" question that I SHOULD have been asking myself is: What if it happened to me? What if I needed help?

My challenge to you is to not react the same what that I did. Maybe you're not comfortable giving your credit card info either but find a way to help. Because one day, you could be the one in need.

Me llamo Mary.

I've taken 8 years of spanish. From middle school up thru high school. All of that studying and basically I can ask for directions or locations of certain places and I can understand other peoples conversations but not necessarily reply. Oh, and I can understand when people are cursing at me. I received this in an email today from my mom and just about died laughing. I hope you do too. (well..not die, of course, just laugh) Happy Monday!

Open letter To My Easy Drive To Work.

Dear Easy Drive to Work,

I just wanted to say that I'll miss you desperately. We both knew this day was coming and as I'm now over halfway thru my last week with you, I've never appreciated you more. The constant rain this week has made me dread what my future drive to work will be and its anything but YOU....Easy.

I imagine that a week from today, I will be stuck in numorous School Zones and traffic jams, the usual issues one has when school is in session.

So please know, Easy Drive to Work, I've cherised the 2 1/2 months we've spent together. I look forward to your occasional visits during fall break, christmas break and spring break until we're back together next summer.

Until then, I'll be thinking of you every morning and afternoon.

All my love,
MC

You Are Good

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Every tee comes with the following tag:


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I got tagged-ABCs of me

So TexasLauren, my new friend thru blogs, tagged me last week and I just figured out what that meant. It seems I'm giving away alot about myself this week, haha. Yay fun!

So here goes...the ABCs of me:

Attached or Single - Attached, (dating 38 months this weekend, haha, drives him crazy when I point out stupid things like that)


Best Friend - Megster. We've been friends for over 25 years...crazy, huh? We'll die together, old, crazy, drunk, and without our teeth.


Cake or Pie - Tough one, I'd have to say Cake. Cookie Cake or the birthday cake my mom makes.


Day of Choice - Day off. I work for vacation days.


Essential item - wow, i dont think i have one. i guess my cell phone. not because it's anything cool...it doesnt surf the net, doesnt take pictures, but it allows me to talk to everyone i know while driving.


Favorite color - Green. that funky 70s green.


Gummy bears or worms - Bears. I like to lick the back and stick them on my forehead. yeah, i know.


Hometown - Lets just say Texas.


Indulgence - Wine. I don't care how many calories it has or how many glasses is too many, I work hard and I deserve it.


January or July - January. I love the cold weather.


Kids - Three 4-legged kids (2 dogs, 1 cat) No 2-legged kids yet although my uterus is knocking.


Life isn't complete - without faith, friends and family. (oh and reality tv)


Marriage date - Ugh, I get this on a weekly basis. I have no idea. I don't look that great in white so I'm not too anxious, hah.


Number of brothers/sisters - One brother, one sister, both older. Technically they're half siblings, one from each side, I'm the binding force of the family. Oh and I'm humble, can't you tell?


Oranges or apples - Oranges. My mom squeezes oranges on top of any fruit salad, its great.


Phobias - Myself. I'm afraid that one day everyone will figure out that I'm just full of it.


Quote - "Just because we deserve the best, doesn't mean we're entitled to it." -unknown


Reasons to Smile - I try to smile even when I don't have a reason to, I'm hoping it's infectous.


Season of Choice - Winter. Being from Texas, I love the cold weather because we never get enough of it.


Unknown Fact - I wasn't always this much of a planner and I have no idea how it happened.


Vegetable - green beans or brocolli!


Worst habits - worrying, planning, expecting too much.


Xray or Ultrasound - random question, I've only ever had Xrays or MRIs so I guess Xrays. bones are cool.


Your favorite food - pizza


Zodiac - Aries. No clue what that says about me. Probably that I'm competitive.

Now I'm tagging:

Megster

Lincee

Jennifer

Jodi

I love you and I hate you

Michael Phelps eats 12,000 calories per day
By Chris Chase

After he retires from swimming, Michael Phelps might want to try his hand at competitive eating. The Olympic star recently said he consumes 12,000 calories per day, or 9,500 more than the FDA recommends for an active, young male.

Phelps has to keep his intake up in order to compensate for all the calories he burns during the 30-hours per week he spends in training. He told NBC that an average day might have the following menu:

Breakfast: 3 fried egg sandwiches, 2 cups coffee, 5-egg omlette, bowl of grits, 3 pieces of french toast, 3 chocolate chip pancakes

Lunch: 1 pound pasta, 2 ham and cheese sandwiches, energy drink (1,000 calorie)

Dinner: 1 pound pasta, 1 large pizza, energy drink (1,000 calorie)

Three years ago, Phelps told an interviewer:

"I eat pretty much whatever I want. I don't have a strict diet. It's all about cramming in as many calories into my system as I possibly can. To be honest with you, I have a tough time keeping weight on."

The making of Me.

So I've ventured away from really writing about the yucky love stuff in order to appeal to a more diverse audience of readers. But who am I kidding, every female has stories to tell so I thought it was time to tell mine. You see, when I write about yucky love, I want it to be funny, entertaining, real and give hope to others. And initially, the only way I thought I could do that was to tell the ultimate love story (with me as the leading lady) and the fairy tale ending we all grew up learning about, thus giving hope that everyone can be as happy as me (ok...you can all stop laughing at me now.) But I don't have that story to tell you.

And then I realized, even though my story is far from perfect, it's truly real and I think it can be funny, entertaining, real and I maybe give hope that we all go thru these hardships and that it's ok. So here goes.

I have been in love 3 different times in my life: Steven, Ben, and Current BF (names have all been changed). (ok really i've been in love hundreds of times...chocolate, michael buble songs, snow skiing, etc... but this is just about being in love with the opposite $ex so go with it.)

Steven.
I was in high school and funny enough, I thought I had already been in love before him (I hadn't). I don't really know how we met, but he was a senior when I was a junior and I became the girl who wore his letter jacket. I was blissfully happy. It was the time of the innocent love...we were each others first everything and experiencing life together was everything I'd imagined. We didn't do the break up & get back together thing, we just stayed together....for 3 1/2 years! And to be honest, I can't even remember why we ended up breaking up in the end. What I do remember is that it seemed to fizzle and he broke up with me and instead of grieving over that loss, I made the most of my time and quickly found someone new.....Ben. (There's more to Steven's story...stay tuned)

Ben and I met in college about a minute after Steven broke up with me (well, maybe more like a week). We immediately hit it off and started to date. When Steven got word of this, he came back and wanted me again. I quickly turned my nose up to him with a "you snooze you lose" attitude and focused on Ben. Ben was younger than me and wanted to learn what I had to teach him, haha. We got serious quickly and I felt powerful being the older/wiser of the two. I broke up with him after 2 months for about 8 hours...(it was during summer finals, i was stressed and ridiculous and I don't remember why I did it). When I realized I was being dramatic, I went looking for him. When I found him he was in his yard kissing another girl and there was an empty wine bottle on the table. I ran from his house in tears, making it known that I was there so he would see me and come running after me realizing his mistake. Only, he didn't. I ran to the comfort of Stevens arms who was still there for me, but thankfully, I didn't confuse the situation more and Steven and I just stayed friends. The new semester was starting so I felt I had a fresh start.

As soon as school started, Ben came back....begging me. He sent me the most incredible arrangement of roses that I have ever seen to this day. They were salmon pink and so big I thought they were tulips. He romanced me in every way possible to get me back and I eventually gave in. He promised nothing happened with the slut I saw him kissing. (sorry, couldn't resist) After a month he came clean and admitted that he cheated...of course, it was followed by Ross Geller's famous line, "we were on a break" and the only break I validated was my heart breaking.

I stayed with him and I thought about him cheating every day for 6 months. Eventually it became every other day and after a good while, I could go a week without thinking about it. Our relationship healed and we were having a great time...planning a future together. Fast forward 2 years and 9/11 happened. Everything that was secure in my life suddenly seemed upside down. Ben decided to study abroad and I was devastated. We decided that we didn't want to be apart so he asked me to go with him and I did. I think 9/11 had that affect on so many people. Don't get me wrong, I loved him, but I was so terrified of losing him after that...I almost didn't want him to be out of my sight! But, going abroad was the best decision I could've made and I wouldn't have considered it had it not been for Ben. My time there was incredible. When we returned, he proposed in front of my entire family and I happily accepted. This was it! We started planning the wedding, picked out our kids names and lived happily ever after.

That's how I thought this story would end.

After we got engaged, I found a great job that I loved while starting my senior year (5th year, haha) and I began working alot. He was also working but after missing work for the 5th day from playing Halo and losing his license for too many speeding tickets, he got fired. He then starting hanging with friends and met a friend of a friend. Oh yeah, did I mention this friend was a girl? She was from my hometown, 4 years younger than me, played all the same sports, involved in all of the same things. She was ME, just 4 years younger, I call her Mini Me. I challenged this friendship and was told that he wanted to hang out with me during the day but I was too busy working. Gee, how selfish of me! He broke up with me in the middle of a college football game and we decided to take Thanksgiving break to think about if we wanted to be together. When I returned, I told him I wanted to be with him and he told me that she'd shopped with him during the break and she encouraged him to buy cargo pants and he liked that. Weird, right? (back story is we were both about to graduate and I was encouraging him to spend his $ on clothes for upcoming interviews instead of yet another pair of those pants where you'd unzip them below the knee and ABRACADABRA! they were shorts.) Anyhow, as I'm sure you can imagine, it was a very NASTY break up. He tried to call the cops on me for breaking and entering when I was moving out and tried to sue me to get the ring back. It was BAD.

When it was over, I called Steven. He'd since graduated and moved away and was there for me yet again. I realized that I'd never gotten over Steven and now I had 2 lost loves to mend from. I swore off dating until I knew what I wanted. Six months later, after graduation, I left my pain behind me and happily moved away, excited for the next chapter of my life. (Ben and Mini Me continued dating for a few years and eventually broke up, I don't know if he cheated or not...and I don't care).

After about a year of living in a new city, I thought I was ready to move on.

I was working a great job that paid me nothing but had great potential and was really fun. I dated here and there, mostly first dates, but dates none the less. I'd put Ben behind me and Steven and I were still friends. We'd considered giving it another go but we never acted on it. Then one day, I get a call from Steven's new girlfriend. She hates me and decides to involve me in one of their fights...it was a ridiculous few days...and then, after all of those years, Steven and my friendship was over. I had nothing to do with it, I hadn't even really talked to him in awhile, but she was insanely jealous of our friendship and hated me. And to be honest, what girl hasn't been jealous of her guy's ex....I thought she was a crazy psycho but kinda understood at the same time. She'd given him an ultimatum and he chose her. I was ok with that and wished them both well...I don't think she believed me but thats ok. They've since married and are really happy...or at least I've heard.

Moving on, I was working my new job after getting my promotion and I get a random voicemail one day. My boss had forwarded me a new business call and it's Ben's sister. She works in the same industry and just happened to need my company's services and I just happened to be the next one on the new business call in list. I went to my boss and asked to have someone else work the account and was quickly denied and told to grow up. I stared at the phone for 30 minutes before I finally called her back. I focused on the work and nothing but the work and then she asked, "how are you?"

Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!

This is the moment when you need to be happily married with baby on the way, ridiculously wealthy, world traveled, successful and have lost 20 pounds. I was none of those things. I didn't have a husband (I hadn't had a date in 6 months), I was living paycheck to paycheck, hadn't been on vacation since college when my parents paid for it, I was still trying to figure out what the heck I was supposed to do in my career and the weight....well, that's none of your business but lets say the weight listed on my drivers license was WAY off!

I'm proud to say that I was positive, honest, not embellishing too much, but emphasizing whatever highlights I could think of. I then asked how she was and she told me 2 seconds about herself and then had verbal diarrhea about Ben. Oh, And guess what? He's married. Oh, And guess what? They have a daughter. Oh, And guess what? He named her the name we'd picked to name our first daughter (first AND middle name, WTF?) Oh and these names were not just Kate Ann, etc. These were NOT run of the mill names and I PICKED THEM OUT!!!! Oh, And guess what? His sister emailed me pictures.

KILL. ME. NOW.

What did I do wrong here? I took the necessary time to get over this relationship! I learned the lessons! I cried the tears! I paid the price already!! Why is it that now, more than 3 years later...I'm still getting hit by this?

After I sufficiently emailed every person that has known me since that time and had all of the, "you are NOT going to believe this" conversations, I let it go (or so I thought). I'd wanted to name my daughter that name since I was in high school, but it's ok. I decided it would be good to email him to say congratulations. (Seriously, Megster, you should have medicated me to prevent this) I thought I was being a mature adult...I told him I was thankful that he realized before the wedding that I was not the right person for him, I applauded his honesty (laugh) and I was happy to see that he was doing so well (gag). I acknowledged that it was a bad breakup and I was sorry for the mutual hurt but I really wished him nothing but the best.

He never responded.

After a month of convincing myself that I was ok...I think I finally was.

Then, almost a year later, thru a series of coincidences, I met my current BF. I say "current" because I have no open registries with this man. That being said, I have every intention of not screwing this up and hopefully, one day, we'll get to point and shoot that gun at things that we don't need but want others to buy us. I won't go into the story with current BF because I don't really like to start too many stories where I don't know the ending. But I'm happy and healthy and hopeful for the future.

I believe that we learn something with every relationship we have...be it occupational, friendship, romantic, etc. With Steven, I learned how to be a girlfriend (and how not to be), how innocent love is and how romantic it can be. I learned how important family is and I learned that there was someone I was supposed to become, not just someone I thought I should be. And most importantly, I learned that I had so much left to learn. With Ben, I learned how to fight to the death and win, I learned whats really important to me and whats not. I learned that I never want to be with someone who doesn't believe in our lord, I learned that culture is a beautiful thing, and I learned to trust my instincts and listen to my mother. I learned about another side of the world and I learned what I didn't want for the rest of my life. And most importantly, I finally learned how to let go.

When I started dating my current BF, I took what I learned and put it into action. Here are a few of my favorites:

~Since I knew how to fight and win, I decided that it wasn't winning or losing that's important, it's about learning and growing together.
~Since I knew how to be romanced, I decided I wanted to learn how to be romantic in HIS eyes, not just what I thought was romantic.
~Since I learned how important family can be, I decided to open my arms to his family in hopes that one day they will do the same.
~Since I knew that having the same faith was so important to me, I learned to make a mental memory of how special it meant the first time he said that he prays for us.

And now, I've realized that the hardest thing I've ever had to learn, but the most important thing to put into action was to have faith. That even if MY ending isn't how I've always pictured it....it's going to be better than I expected. Even if I go thru hardships along the way, I'll learn from them and use those lessons as I continue on this thing we call life.

My hopes in sharing these memories with you is that someone out there might read this and identify with it. Hopefully use it to keep going, use it to realize that it's not the fairy tale that we ultimately want...it's the reality. We want someone to love us because of our flaws, not in spite of them. And for that, I'm not afraid to admit mine.

Maybe that's optimism, maybe that's faith...mainly, its just me.